“Every Asian immigration story is the same,” was what I was complaining about. As many of my closest friends are children of Asian immigrants, I had always grown up thinking that we all had the same story. That was what unified us, because we were all the same. So it goes without saying, I expected my childhood friend to have the same story as me. Despite being friends for around 16 years now, Alisa Su and I never asked each other about our parents’ immigration history, easily assuming that they were similar enough.
China is an extremely large country, so it isn’t unusual to find immigrants from all parts of China. Alisa’s parents are both from Zhongshan, China. They immigrated to America in the 1980s after Alisa’s great aunt told them that the economy in America was good, and that they could earn more money here. Alisa’s father was an architect and her mother had been an accountant back in China, but following the advice of Alisa’s great aunt, they arrived in America in search of higher paying jobs, although their expectations were not too high. They knew that with little to no knowledge of the language in the new country, they would have a limited choice in jobs. What ended up happening was Alisa’s father finding work in construction, and Alisa’s mother working at a clothing factory in Chinatown, as was the norm for many female immigrants.
It was difficult for them to get accustomed to American life, especially because of the language barrier, but they grew used to it. For the most part, they could get by with Chinese, and so they never did completely learn the language. It wasn’t until they had children, that they began having to deal with more English. They began getting more mail than just the usual bills. Like most children of immigrants, as soon as she got a hold of the English language, Alisa had to help her parents translate, because they had no one else to depend on. Many of these children report being frustrated, having to translate every little thing. However, Alisa was bothered more so by how she couldn’t exactly communicate what was on paper to her parents, because her Cantonese wasn’t as good as she would like. Rather than focus on trying to make her children learn Cantonese, Alisa’s mother tried to learn English for them instead, communicating with them using words and phrases she picked up from their conversations. Although Alisa appreciates that her mother began picking up English to communicate better with them, she feels as if she’s missing something that she should have learned.
Where is home, and what exactly does it mean to be home? The family agrees that America feels more like home. While it is only natural for Alisa and her brother to find America to be their home, even their parents don’t view China as home anymore. When visiting China two summers ago, they were shocked to find how much the country had changed while they had been away. They don’t feel as if they belong there anymore, because they don’t even recognize the place they had once called home. China has become more foreign than America is.
With that said, Alisa’s parents do not regret moving to America at all. Everything in America makes life here superior to life in China. The air is cleaner, and traffic is regulated. Education is better, easier to attain, and the food is safer in America. Life in America hasn’t been easy, but the quality of life makes up for the period where they struggled to adjust. Back in China, they would have an easier life, surrounded by the family and friends they grew up around. However, Alisa has absolutely no idea what life would be like if her parents stayed in China; like most parents, her’s prefer not to speak about their past, instead focusing on their future with their children.
Alisa feels rather uneasy about this lack of past. She feels as if they stayed back in China, that is, if she grew up in China…
“I would be able to communicate better with them. I’d be more fluent in Chinese. I’d know Mandarin, standard Cantonese, and their own special Guzhen dialect. Here, I feel like I can’t carry on their traditions. I can barely carry on their language.”
With a light laugh, she adds on, “Sometimes I wonder if I’m even Chinese…” because her household feels as if it has become so Americanized.
Being in America, most Chinese adopt American holidays, though they don’t exactly celebrate it the same way. Alisa’s family celebrates every American holiday, but with slight substitutions that make them stand out. For example, during the Fourth of July, they’d barbecue, but in addition to what would usually be found on the grill, they’d also have noodles, rice, and fish. They’d have soda, but they’d also have Chinese herbal tea, and for dessert, sweet soup. It’s the perfect example of just the right amount of American influence in a Chinese family.
Growing up in Bensonhurst in Brooklyn, Alisa has had the company of plenty of Chinese Americans around. Her parents selected to live in this neighborhood because it was cheap and close to her cousin’s home, suggesting a niche already building in the borough. It was only when beginning college that Alisa began to have more diverse friends; it was thanks to dorming that she was able to interact with a more diverse assortment of people. It’s not surprising that it took such a long time before she began to see a variation of cultures among her friends; after all, Alisa’s family lives in Bensonhurst, which has quite the reputation.
According to The Newest New Yorkers (2013 edition), Bensonhurst is the neighborhood with the second largest number of immigrants; Bensonhurst’s 77,700 immigrants are only beat by Washington Heights’ 80,200. The U.S. Census Bureau, looking at records from 2007 – 2011, name 40.8% of Bensonhurst of Chinese origin, which accounts for 31,658 people. Bensonhurst is overwhelmingly Chinese, as Italians make up the next most populous group in Bensonhurst at a mere 7.8% with 6,091 people. While Bensonhurst used to have mainly a European presence, it has become increasingly Chinese as the years pass by, being listed number one in the list of top ten neighborhoods of settlement for people born in China.
Of course, we can’t forget Alisa’s great aunt, who changed the Su family’s life forever. Not only was she the impetus for the family immigrating over, but she was an amazing woman. She knew life was not easy: she served a wealthy family in Hong Kong before moving to Turkey, and then settled in the United Kingdom before finally arriving in America, working as a cook. She was then able to bring Alisa’s parents over to America, and helped them start a new life. Alisa was more than excited to share how “… [my great aunt] once served cookies of her own recipe to President Nixon; she was very proud of it!”
I still mean what I said. Every Asian immigration story does sound similar. As I found out about Alisa’s oral history, as she found out about her own oral history, I couldn’t help but think it reinforced exactly what I thought. Everyone comes here because of the idea of a “better life.” It’s supposedly easier to earn money in America, and of course, it’s better to raise children in America. However, even though all of our parents tell us the same thing, that they came here for wealth, I think our oral histories show that there are stories hiding behind the same thing they have always told us, and it’s these stories that make our immigration history so individualistic.
That’s one of the reasons we find our stories to be so similar: because our families came for our sakes. We’re not told everything, which leads us to believe there is nothing more to our story, when in reality, it’s right before us. Being part of the second generation, or beyond, leaves us much in the dark concerning the reasons why, or how it all happened. All we can do is try to find the answers that are not always so easily handed down to us. After all, there’s always more to the story than we currently know.
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