Written by Lin Hengyuan(Roy)

Longing for Identity Zoe's Journey of Discovery

Longing for Identity Zoe's Journey of Discovery by Lin Hengyuan(Roy)

“My great-grandparents on my father’s side came from Ireland and Holland so my grandpa is half Irish and half Dutch, but my grandma on my father’s side is with the German and the French. On my mother’s side, my grandpa is half Austrian and half Romanian and my grandma is Polish and Russian.” – Zoe Sailer

Zoe is perhaps the perfect epitome of the word “diversity,” with her origins ranging from all countries across the European continent. Born and raised in Manhattan, she is a native New Yorker with families established their lives here generations ago. Tracing back her family’s roots, Zoe believed that her great-grandparents came here along with the first wave of immigration at the turn of the last century. Therefore it could be assumed that the motivation behind their course crossing half of the globe is the common “American dream” expectation. Even though harsh realities confronted them during early periods of assimilation, Charlie (Zoe’s great-grandpa) was able to pursue a career as a pharmacist, establishing the bedrock for his family to prosper in the future.

Great-grandfather Charlie and his wife

The story of Charlie was among many untold experiences of Zoe’s families. Their footprints are not only limited to Eastern or Western Europe, but could also be found, unexpectedly, at China before WWII. It was really an interesting anecdote runs in the family as Zoe unfolds how her grandfather grew up in Beijing, translated during the war, spoke eight different dialects in china and still read Chinese newspapers on a daily basis.

Having roots all over a vast continent did not help Zoe to easily find commonality among people who are from the ethnicities she’s associated with. That type of bonding was truly something Zoe longs for.

According to the Jewish tradition, a child born into a Jewish family automatically adopts the religion, which gives Zoe the statute passed from her mother. This is part of the reason that her family currently resides in the Lower East Side near a neighborhood occupied primarily by the Jewish population. Zoe’s great-grandmother on her mother’s side immigrated here from Austria at the turn of the century. She came over with her family, and they resided on the Lower East Side, very close to where Zoe lives now. Interestingly enough, Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island are both visible from Zoe’s balcony and her family actually hung a copy of Zoe’s great-grandmother’s passenger ticket coming here on the wall next to that balcony. “I think it’s really crazy that 100 years ago my great-grandmother came to New York through Ellis Island and 100 years later we are looking at the exact entrance she had to go through with a copy of her ticket,” she said with excitement on her face, “and don’t you think it’s funny that it’s only a twenty minutes walk from here and we just look at it while watering the plant!”

A copy of Zoe’s great-grandmother’s ticket to America

Young Mollie

Besides this coincidence, Zoe enjoys living there in the center of a Jewish community. Even though she was not raised religiously due to the fact that her family is a combination of two different religions, she feels much more connected to the Jewish culture rather than to the actual countries her ancestors came from. Tenement houses around her and some of the Jews established generations ago living in them help Zoe to establish a deeper connection with her Jewish roots. “It helps me to sort narrow down my identity search,” as Zoe said. It becomes a prominent point to me that the phrase “identity search” prevailed throughout my interview with her. Though Zoe was born and raised in New York City and consider herself pure American after so many generations, she strongly believes that cultural has the power to create “such a strong bond among people over periods so short.” This power of uniting deeply amazed Zoe and she longs to find the sense of belonging. However, according to her, being associated with ethnicities or countries all across the map of Europe did not help in this case. Rather, it had turned her desire to be connected into a sentiment that “cling on the Jewish cultural.” The two other roots that she feels somehow connected to are her Irish and Dutch roots. She joked about how it was like to be the only person of Dutch descent in the school and not really being united with any community in that sense.

Living in America, this longing for a sense of unity and connection through cultural bonding is definitely not atypical. When choosing the neighborhood to settle in, new immigrants usually consider those places that are already populated by people from the same ethnicity. The convenience of communication surely places a role, but it ultimately comes down to the sense of being “at home.” The nostalgia will never be erased from our heart even after generations as exemplified in the case of Zoe. However, New York City has her unique charm of diversity. On one hand, new waves of immigrant experience cultural shock and find a balance between the city and their cultural background, creating their new identities. On the other hand, for someone like Zoe who was born and raised here, we observe a discrepancy in their preferences. Some adapt the “melting pot” ideology and call New York City their root. As for other ones, including Zoe, so many ethnicities and cultures at their disposal do sometimes confuse them in the path to find the sole one to associate with. Nevertheless, it is exactly this type of diversity, this attitude to open, and this tendency to accept and change make the city we see today the greatest city on the surface of this planet. Just as Zoe put, “The New York I was raised in, it’s all about being very accepting towards others…” It is exactly because of this, this city has been home to so many generations of immigrants and their children. It is also exactly because of this, the city will continue to symbolize freedom, opportunity, and diversity in nation build upon these qualities.

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