“I connect with other Chinese Americans because we are – Chinese. That connection you feel when you see someone with a similar look, similar background, and even perhaps the same language you speak at home (or at least try to) is really bonding… However, I do sometimes feel alieniate in a situation that I’m surrounded by newly immigrants because my American side is just so prominent when I’m with them! Even that, I really appreacite both my cultural connection, China, and my birth place, America.”
My close friend Abby Lee is a Chinese-American who was born and raised here in the US. Even though she has gone back numerous times to Hong Kong, where her parents came from, and has visited other parts of mainland China, Abby still says that the American side of her always stands out whenever interacting with Chinese peers who are not ABC (American Born Chinese) or have not yet fully adjust the lifestyle here.
“Education: The Background”
A Family Picture of Abby
Both of Abby’s parents came to the country chasing the typical “better education and better life” ideology. Her father originally moved to Canada around 19 to attain his undergraduate degree in economics. He then moved to New York in 1985 to pursuit his masters and doctorate in theology. As for Abby’s mother, the story is surely more intricate;
“It’s different for her because I know that she has struggled a lot more as an immigrant. Her whole immediate family left their old lives behind at Hong Kong and moved here when she was 13. They settled down at the cheapest place they could find in Chinatown. It was all because of the money and the budget. Therefore, my mother would work as a seamstress on the side while trying to complete her studies in high school.”
Though growing up experiencing economic hardship, Abby’s mother did not get left back in her pursuit of higher education. She got two masters while working part time and is now a speech-language pathologist – something rare among immigrant parent.
When asking how education has shaped her parents’ lives and that of her own, Abby’s replied in a jocular way that
“having both of your parents who are graduate level educated makes it so much harder to get a scholarship! Anyways, they were both the first in their families to attend college and I think that my parents wouldn’t have become who they are today without the power of education. This type of value is passed down to us and I remember starting homeschool when I was only three. My parents would read to my brother and I. Our grandparents also taught us alphabet since that time and overall I think they just wanted us to have a head start because of its importance.”
And it doesn’t stop there; there are more fundamental impacts of this ideology among Abby and her brother. For example, both of them graduate specialized high school with their associate’s degree already and both are motivated to pursue their own graduate degree in law and biology respectively in the near future due to this strong influence from their parents. As for now, education has enabled Abby’s parents to become successful in their occupations and they no longer live in places with cheap rent but rather settled at Fresh Meadows, Queens, which is considered a neighborhood for upper-class citizens.
“It’s much more different than what my parents started out with and we are living the typical American Dream you know.”
Abby’s parents came to the country chasing better opportunities; her background speaks to one of the most prominent motivation behind immigration. There has always existed the idea that a better education entails better opportunity and better life in the near future. Even though the immigrant parents do not possess the same English proficiency and higher degrees themselves, they try to give the best educational opportunity to their children. In fact, according to a research published by the Asian American Federation, Chinese in New York City had less schooling than the citywide population. In New York City’s Chinese adult population, the percent that did not have a high school diploma was a staggering 38 percent in 2011, and was significantly higher than the citywide rate of 21 percent. At the other end of the spectrum, 30 percent of Chinese had a bachelor’s degree or higher, lower than 34 percent for the city overall (Statistics are taken from Asian American Federation, 2013 edition). Sometimes, the pressure they put on the children helps to contribute the social stereotype that categorizes Asian-American as nerdy.
“The Identity”
“I wouldn’t say that I’m just simply American. I like my Asian identity and my Chinese identity!”
Although the openness and acceptance are something that we cherish as the founding values of this land, minorities sometimes still do not feel fully integrated into the mainstream “White” cultural. Oftentimes, the microaggressions they face forced them to glitch to values, traditions, and people associated with their skin…
Despite the fact that Abby doesn’t identify herself primarily as purely American, she undoubtedly showcased her pride in growing up in the best country in the world through her own definition of American as being equated to openness.
“It’s not about the stereotypes that foreigners have, like driving pick-up trucks or always eat out at fast food restaurants. I think one of the values that define America is the ‘open-mindedness’ we see here. Just being accepting of all kinds of cultures and idea gives us so much competitive advantage because the best and the brightest are accepted here unconditionally.”
Growing up in New York City has definitely helped shape Abby’s ideology. Queens is the place that has the most languages spoken and ethnic diversity concentrated in one area. The experience is drastically different from someone who is not a New Yorker. Being able to meet different people and experience so many different cultures at our disposal are perhaps one of the greatest perks of living here. As for the reason that she identifies as Asian American, Abby explains that
“all the schools I went to are pretty much private or specialized, which are predominately white. Therefore, when I was younger, I did not really feel like I am much different than those others surrounded me, but when I grow older, things that are perpetrated on TV, the media, and just the experiences of other Asian Americans around me made me realize that there is a difference. Being a minority in America is still different…and many of us have to learn it the hard way. As a result, there is the urge inside you to grasp unity with someone sharing your family’s background, sharing the language you could speak at home, and sharing the same experience as you. That’s why I identify myself as Asian-American instead of purely American.”
With the background she grew up with and the level of diversity she was exposed to, it is not surprising that Abby is a huge advocate for immigration. She commented on the subject matter from two different perspectives.
“First, America was built on immigrations, we have people who come here for freedom of religion since early colonial time and now we have so many intelligent students coming here for education and eventually contribute to the society by building their own companies and inventions. They contribute to the wellbeing of our society and it’s unfair for them because getting a visa is so hard nowadays. Second, if we were really to kick out the illegal immigrants, there will be a lot of jobs left open that no citizens are willing to do. They contribute to so much of our economy.”
Although the openness and acceptance are something that we cherish as the founding values of this land, minorities sometimes still do not feel fully integrated into the mainstream “White” cultural. Oftentimes, the microaggressions they face forced them to glitch to values, traditions, and people associated with their skin…
As a result, Abby’s longing for a sense of unity and bond through cultural connection is certainly not atypical. As a minority, America could be quite ambivalent. It is accepting at times because new immigrants find endless possibilities here. They always say that “America is the land of freedom, of equality, and of opportunity.” If you try hard enough, you might be able to break the boundaries that others imposed on you; if you try hard enough, you will find the opportunity of the lifetime and make your fortune here on the foreign land. However, it is only after immigrants arrive, they start to seeing the rejecting side of America. The language barrier, skill limitation, and being alone on a completely unfamiliar country drive newer immigrants longing to be connected. They settle in places that are already populated by people from the same ethnicity, forming places such as Chinatown as safe haven and locations that utilize kinship and hometown ties. The ease of communication aids into immigrants’ paths to assimilate on this foreign land and gives a sense of “home” to those who are searching for an emotional harbor while pursuing education or work. Among Chinese immigrants, there is also numerous Hometown-Associations base in the small region of person’s birth. Those associations specialize in helping individuals deal with legal battles to win legal status, posting job openings for those who need, and acting as a place to socialize often using one’s own dialect.
A video describing everyday microaggressions that some face
Although it might be a better situation for children of immigrants, they sometimes still encounter racism and inequality base on the color of their skins. Furthermore, those microaggressions are not the only reason that second-generation minorities seek connection with each other.
“Older generations work really really hard to get their children a better starting point. They had this ideology that education is the way to climb up the social ladder… You know the thing is that they can’t, or they are not able to see how opportunities are not fair across the board! It has never been an even play field for us as minorities and that is why we should unite with each other and fight for the justice!”
“Cultural Connections and Religion”
“The fact that my parents are Christian is more of a disconnect with the Chinese community…”
As a child of a preacher, Abby was born into a religious family. This is surely a different experience than that of a typical Chinese family. Due to historical circumstances, people from China are predominantly atheist. Since an early age, Abby was asked to attend bible studies and Sunday services every week along with her siblings. When asked how has this change the way that Chinese culture has influenced her life, Abby answered that
“I think the fact that my parents are Christian, there is more of a disconnect with the Chinese community. Like we don’t have the same religion as most Chinese people or the lack of religion you could also say and also there are a lot of superstitious things that Chinese people tend to do or believe that we don’t, so that makes (us) disconnect from the culture.”
In other words, what Abby had grown up with is atypical in the Chinese mainstream community. Unlike other ethnicities, Chinese people rarely believe in any religions; around five-percent of the total population in China are actually Christians. As a result of her religious beliefs, Abby’s cultural experience is limited. She was not able to immerse herself in some of the traditions that are closely tied to what it means to be “Chinese.” Exactly as how Abby put, “besides the fact that we speak Chinese at home, my parents I mean, there isn’t much of a connection… Though we sometimes learn to cook traditional Chinese food or snacks, but that’s about it.”
It is true that for most Chinese families, religion and cultural connection are mutually exclusive. However, some immigrants do experience religious “enlightenment” as they face numerous hardship in assimilating. Many accounts of later converted immigrants that Abby witnessed talked about hardships they face when they first came. For Chinese immigrants, struggles that often come along with language barriers and depriving working conditions often led to the urge of seeking religion. Christianity, which is the most practiced religion among the Chinese population here, along with other major belief systems, has become something that immigrants sought after because of the circumstances surrounding them.
Writer’s Note: As a close friend of Abby, I’ve always observed the fact that she is very keen about her own identity as a second generation Chinese-American growing up in an environment that is quite atypical of Chinese families. I wanted to dive deeper into her understanding of the concept so I divided up the three things that could most categorize her experience of what is it like to have that unique influence while connecting her words to the general trends of immigration. Furthermore, I want to capture the new immigrant wave from a different perspective, the one that’s usually invisible. Growing up in a different country, the tradition “assimilation” is no longer in play; it really is more about finding the connection with your cultural ethnicity and understanding what it means to be a minority. That is what I am trying to convey in this oral history.
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