It is often hard to imagine life other than what we personally has known it as. It is also difficult, as children, to appreciate just how truly fortunate one’s childhood is, growing up in an established country, where there are few responsibilities placed on the small shoulders of children. However, for the many children living in impoverished countries, there are often tasks given to them that would seem almost ludicrous to those of us who grew up in a rather privileged fashion.
My god-mother, Miki, has established a living for herself now in America, but her youth was spent in China with a Chinese mother and a Korean father. With her background, she has experience with interacting and balancing the two different cultures which is something many of the children of immigrants in America can relate to. What many of the youth cannot relate to would be everyday life she lived.
When Miki was a small child, around the time of first grade, she had the task of collecting only the fallen sticks near her backyard, the backyard being the general mountainous area where she had lived. Why? If there were dried sticks to make fire, there was no need to buy coal to burn. It didn’t stop there.
“We used to climb into the mountains. There are many different herbs and vegetables there.”
Miki, with her older siblings would also travel up into the mountains for the purpose of picking and collecting the plentiful herbs and vegetables that nature had to offer.
Starting from the time as just a small child, Miki had taken it upon herself to do these tasks in order to help her family get by. Her father was diabetic making most types of work available at the time, difficult for him. Her mother was a low level government worker who didn’t make enough to support her family. Miki had two other siblings, both older than she was, and her mother resorted to selling tofu on the street markets to support her family of five. The times might have seemed absurd, but the country was unimaginable.
“It was almost like the government was brain washing the children.”
China as a country was cut off from the outside world and Miki had little exposure to the outside world. It was only in the 1980s when Miki got lucky. Her older brother had finished college and had been recruited to work in Japan by a company. He took the opportunity and offered to pay for Miki’s flight to Japan as well. Eager to escape the confines of China, Miki eagerly agreed although she had not a single clue as to how to speak Japanese.
Upon arrival, Miki enrolled in a language academy. Within two years, she was proficient and was thus able to enroll in college where she studied business economy. Tuition in Japan for college was expensive, however Miki didn’t want to rely on anyone else and took it upon herself to earn every single penny.
In Japan, there are convenience stores/coffee shops that are open 24 hours and Miki worked in one for the duration that she was in college. She described the experience as back breaking as she would end work at 12 in the morning only to have to make an hour long train trip back to the place she was living at with five other people. The place was small, lacked air conditioning and only had a single bathroom, but it was the best Miki could do in her situation then. Running on three or four hours of sleep most nights, Miki struggled but managed to stay afloat. She was even able to earn enough to have spare money to send back to her family in China, a matter many immigrants partook in.
When she finished college, she decided to continue her education and enrolled at Columbia University. Miki’s mother had never been the tiger mom type. “She was very open and free,” Miki said. “She never forced me to do anything.” School and education were provided for Miki in China, but it had been a gift in Japan. College was at an entirely different level and she found the challenges she faced to be stirring.
The years spent in Japan may have seemed bleak at times, but it was also the prime of her life. She met her first husband, James, and they clicked right off the bat. Life had seemed as if it had taken a turn for the better.
When Miki came to New York to study at Columbia, she was pregnant with her first child. James was still back in Japan so she had to make it on her own, living in a small apartment in Manhattan. He would eventually come to New York on the account of doing business for his company, however until then, Miki was on her own. She recalls that eventually the pressure got to be too much so she dropped out of college. After having Michael, her first child, Miki went to work as an assistant director at a then struggling prep school. Using her knowledge of business, she helped to expand the business and eventually, the owner was able to open up a second school.
While working hard at day, she also had to work hard at night. Miki had hired a babysitter for Michael during the daytime, but it had been a problem that Michael was always waking up every fifteen minutes at night. However, the babysitter had always said that Michael behaved well during the day. It was only later on that Miki came to the realization that the babysitter had been letting Michael sleep during the daytime!
Events unfolded in such a way that Miki eventually had to quit her job at the prep school. As the business got more successful, her boss became overly controlling and in a sense was almost scared of the amount of power Miki held over the Chinese customers. The owner gave her an ultimatum and Miki chose to leave.
Now working as the director of a private tutoring academy, Miki had much to say about education, especially in China. From her experience, the education had been rather dry- there was no creativity involved, only the basics of the outside world were taught and everything involving social studies seemed to revolve around communism. Not only that, her goal is to genuinely connect with children at her prep school and to create a type of interactive learning where kids actually enjoy it.
Decades have passed since her arrival here in America, but when asked why she came, Miki thought for a moment before saying it was for the opportunity of a better future. The isolation in both Japan and especially America were huge mountains to climb, but Miki had climbed enough mountains to know that she would make it.
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