Assimilation

Growing up in an immigrant household was very different than how my friends grew up with. My life could easily be divided into two realms: an American realm, that encompassed school, friends, and work, and an Indian realm, that encompassed home and church. I was forced to live two different lives at the same time and the separation of these lives was mandatory. At school or with friends, I was always conscious of being too Indian. As a kid, I often made up stories about vacations I had or places I had visited in order to seem more American. I never invited my friends over to my house for fear of being asked what something was, or what was that smell, or why I wore certain cultural clothes. I always had to act more American when I was outside my house. At my house or at church, I had to act more Indian. I had to speak another language and adhere to different cultural rules and values. Any form of Americanization, which included speaking in English, was heavily discouraged. There was a constant reminder that we had to be separate in order to preserve our culture and value. For years, I was forced to put up these facades because it is the only way I would not be ostracized by Americans for being too Indian and Indians for being too American. As I grew up, I began to merge these two realms. But a clear distinction can be seen where I have decided to leave parts of my life separate. Having these two experience allow me to see the potential benefits of “Anglo-conformity,” like being part of a collective culture where I call home, and the potential consequences of “Anglo-conformity,” like the fear of losing one’s heritage and culture.