There once was a little pseudoscience called Astrology. He wanted nothing more than to be a real science, like his classmates Biology, Anthropology and Physics. Even his cousin, Astronomy, was allowed to join in the ranks of the real sciences. “What must I do to become a science?” asked Astrology desperately. “Well that’s easy,” replied Chemistry, “You just need to base your knowledge on laws and principles that follow scientific logic, and theorems which make predictions that are rigorously tested and proven time and time again. And, as you learn more, adapt your laws to explain the things you see.” No matter what, Astrology just couldn’t figure out how to do this. And so, while Astrology was able to climb to great fame, it was doomed to forever be a pseudoscience.
Hello, my friends. Recently, news sources and non-scientists have been jumping all over articles such as this one: http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/01/13/horoscope-hang-up-earth-rotation-changes-zodiac-signs/
These articles have brought to light a realization to the “field” of Astrology and its followers…it’s wrong. Don’t be fooled…this is not new news. In fact, astronomers have known about this for years, it just hasn’t been this widely publicized until now. Don’t believe me? Watch this video from our favorite TV personality/scientist, Bill Nye: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQPFoDkGFrU
So what’s the problem, you ask? Well, in addition to a totally false premise, Astrology has a big credibility problem. Even if you believe your life is determined by the position of the stars, astrologers are following their charts incorrectly. Let’s go through the problems one by one, shall we? First up is the fact that astrologers tell you there are 12 signs. WRONG! There are 13 signs…Ophiuchus being the forgotten zodiac sign. This sign isn’t new…it was thrown out thousands of years ago because only 12 signs were desired. So already, we’re forgetting a sign…and a badass one as well. Ophiuchus is a freakin’ serpent holder! Much cooler than being a stupid fish.
What’s the next problem? Well, the Earth wobbles! So what…what does that have to do with astrology? The Earth’s wobble causes various alignments in the sky to shift slightly. This is seen in the Earth’s north star. Right now, we know of the north star called Polaris, because it is best aligned with the North Pole of the Earth…but it wasn’t always the North Star. The wobble shifts the axis slightly, and thousands of years ago (and in the future) there were and will be different north stars. Similarly, the constellations shift slightly as well. Your sign is determined by the constellation the sun rises in on your birthday. The signs you are used to are based on the constellations as they were over 2000 years ago. I was born on April 15th…back then, the sun rose in the constellation Aries. And that’s what astrologers say. But if I was to stay up on my birthday, I would not see the sun rise in Aries…it would rise in Pisces! Oops. That’s because the signs are off by one full sign. But for some reason, astrologers haven’t been able to keep up. One complete wobble takes 26000 years…so if they’re too stubborn, astrologers will be overlapped in about 24000 years!
Here’s another problem. I’m told that if I’m an Aries (or a Pisces) then my daily fate is exactly the same as every other person born in that time period. Well, that’s a little bizarre, don’t you think? I have the same personality traits and mesh well with specific signs. Doesn’t that sound like racism to you? I like to call this “horoscopism”.
Extensive scientific studies have shown that horoscopes are not valid or real. And yet, so many people believe in them. I implore you all—wake up! Do not let horoscopes and zodiacal bullshit drive your lives! Be free! A society free of yet one more piece of ignorance is a better and smarter society.
Astrology was sneaky. He tried everything to be a science. He lied to the masses, and preached shoddy laws based on mysticism and ignorance. But Astronomy was cunning, and showed everyone that his cousin was a fake; he proved that Astrology was using some of Astronomy’s science to pass off his own as truth. After being exposed of his fraud, Astrology was thrown in intellectual jail, serving out a life sentence for his crimes and lies. And the other sciences lived happily ever after.