The Arts in New York City

I used to love watching weekly WWF shows, such as “Smackdown!” and “Raw is War.”  There was a time, when I actually believed the action, drama, and personas, all part of an elaborately conceived masculine soap opera, were real.  Not until I’d gotten more in tune with the world, and interacted with more adults (male and female), had I realized that the hubris-gorged, trash-talking egoists, as well as the hair-ripping, high-flying temptresses were not your quotidian next-door neighbors, coworkers, or even outlaws. 

I decided to revist the olden days, through watching the WWF debut of Chris Jericho (my once-favorite wrestler) on (my now-favorite website) Youtube.com.  After watching, I couldn’t believe how I easily I was fooled into believing this claptrap.  Since I don’t have all day, lemme just point out a few of the most GLARING affectations, and my own perception of how they pander to the audience…

(In case you want to witness the phoniness firsthand, here’s the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFX7_4uTqhI&mode=related&search)

1.  “The Rock” (a man by the real name of Dwyane Johnson) refers to himself in third-person, with excessive arrogance and conviction (i.e. “Tonight…in front of all The Rock’s fans,  he will go ONE.ON.ONE..WITH THE GR8 ONE!”).  This is apparently done to satisfy and excite the audience, as enthusiastic applause follows his every sentence.

2.  “Y2J” Chris Jericho uses much of the same “rhetoric” the Rock used.  He also riled up the audience by announcing his arrival in third person, and even putting himself on “center-stage” (i.e. “RAW.IS.JERICHOO!!!!”).  He furthers the already superfluous pretension by declaring himself “YOUR NEW HERO!… MOST CHARISMATIC SHOWMAN…COME TO SAVE THE W.W.F.!… (blah blah blah)” 

3.  This is where the CLASH occurs, where two super-egos collide to verbally and (eventually) physically tear each other apart.  No way in real life, can two sane and sober people, who have just met get into such a rude, explosive and (not to mention) nonsensical altercation (i.e. Rock: “What is your name?” Jericho: “I TOLD you, my–” Rock: “IT DOESN’T MAAATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!”).

 So, in an almost-vain effort to try to make sense of all this nonsense, I believe that people in this business put up such ridiculous, provocative, harsh facades because we people, especially men, crave a good hardcore (not in THAT way..) soap opera.  We love seeing fights ensue, egos collide, and people getting hurt (as harsh as that sounds, I think we’re all, to some extent, sadists).

 Well, there was my two cents, take it for what you think it’s worth.

After watching this show all I can say is this: Wow! It was simply mind blowing! You can take a bunch of random people  from off the street, and that bunch can get a shot at being  America’s Most Smartest Model. That is just so intelligently designed (and grammatically correct). Just imagine! Is this not the American ideal? Would O’Hara not be proud? You can can be as dumb as nails, as hideous as Mr.Hyde, and as angry as Eminem and still have a shot at being America’s Most Smartest Dim-Witted Ghastly Model.  Thank you most earnestly Mr. Gray (Grey?) for turning me unto this Holy Grail of hope and inspiration. I have come to a resolve. I will drop out of school and take my shot at Fame like these icons. If they can do it, the sky’s the limit for me, no?  ~Z~

As I was searching through the channel guide looking for a reality T.V. show to comment on, “America’s Most Smartest Model” caught my eye. Most smartest? I’m sure we all see the irony in this catchy title. Now if you were fortunate enough to miss the eleven clock showing, sadly a repeat of an earlier airing let me fill you in.

The show opens with a mixture of successful models both men and women getting acquainted. Two of the house members are having a political yet unintelligent debate consisting of slamming on the table and many curse words — mainly a brilliant and dramatic opener for a reality T.V show. This results in a fight between the two members involved, Andre and Daniel. Not to take credibility away from these brilliant models, but they are clearly putting on a show. Their expressions, words, and mannerisms are all clearly over dramatic in honor of the camera before them. Now I must admit if I weren’t fulfilling an assignment I imagine I’d be watching something else at the moment. Nonetheless I honestly found myself transfixed on the sheer comedic value in the show.

Ding ding ding! Let the battle of the bulge commence! The idea of this ingenious competition analogousness to that of Jeopardy is that contestants must answer the questions correct or face the catastrophic consequence of eating foods with high calorie content. The host ironically is Ben Stein, a brilliant man that reads off the nutritional values in each food to make the process that much more painful. On the flip side, when the contestants get the question right, they have the privilege of dining a piece of celery. One of the models admirably refuses to eat the cake and ultimately loses the competition. Another contestant puts his hands over his face as though he is in agony. All of these reactions, along with many others are clearly not genuine. It is just another reminder that when people are going to be watched by millions of people, they are going to act differently and truly put on a performance.

So I’ve forced myself to sit down and watch the piece of “scintillating” crap that is “America’s Most Smartest Model.” Oh my…we’re getting off to a good start, with a redundancy in the title! Good lord America, do you really like this crap? >_>

Well, alright, down to discussing this wasted half hour of my life. The supposed “concept” of this show is that VH1 has thrown a motley crue [sic] (don’t mind me, I’m trying to keep my mind on more interesting things) of “models” together in one house full of “crazy antics.” Basically, they have to compete in these precious “challenges” that - you guessed it - are about as challenging as 4th grade math. Oh wait, excuse me, sometimes it is fourth grade math….which they still answer correctly about 50% of the time mind you…just to keep the audience on its toes. There’s the customary disappointment when one of the most smartest (oops, Freudian slip) answers incorrectly (le gasp!), but this is the American public they’re trying to entertain here - it doesn’t take much to keep the sheep entertained on most occasions.

If Ebert stuck his thump up at this kind of crap, I think I’d have to break it. This kind of “entertainment” won’t satisfy anyone with an IQ above room temperature…

Well, that probably explains why America loves this stuff so much then.

If you like this programming, .

A few moments ago, I had the misfortune of watching the show “The Next Great American Band.” I’ll admit that I really enjoyed some of the music, but other than that I was completely dumbfounded by what I was seeing and hearing. I’m not sure how much of this was amplified by convenient editing on the part of the show’s producers and editors, and how much of this was actually coming from the people who were involved, but I can’t believe how much these people are obsessed with fame.

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