Twilight, The Movie
“Joe, have you seen Twilight?”
“Nah, why?”
“You HAVE to see it. It’s Amazing!!!”
“All right, I’ll see.”
So there is one lesson I learned from this conversation, or from life–Never listen to Alyssa, when it comes to movies (Sorry Alyssa). Having watched the preview “Twilight”, it seemed like such an amazing movie with an actor that had an amazing jaw, and with vampires having supernatural abilities. So, because of Alyssa’s recommendation, I decided to go watch this movie with my brother and a friend. After watching the movie, I was speechless. And no, not because this was the best movie ever, but because this was the WORST movie ever. There was a fighting scene which lasted maybe ten minutes tops and the rest was about romance. Sure, maybe it was just me that didn’t like the movie because im not into romance that much, but come on, if you have to spend ten minutes on a scene with the two protagonists slow-dancing, then that is definitely a problem. Fine, maybe I am exaggerating a little bit, but there was much time wasted on scenes unneeded. Getting to the special effects… We might as well go back to the year 2000, or even further back. This movie had worse effects than “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.” If you look carefully at how the vampire climbs the tree, you would just want to leave the movie theater. Also, when the vampire reveals to the girl that he is a vampire and that he isn’t able to go to school when the sun is out, I was expecting for him to turn into some kind of vampire looking person or a monster when the sun had shone on him. However, he glowed. Yes, he glowed. What kind of a vampire glows?! Maybe I am getting a little angry while writing this review, but I guess I’m just trying to show my anger and I just want to let everyone know that he or she is NOT missing out if he or she didn’t watch it. Don’t watch this movie, unless you like to watch two people fall in love wasting time looking at each other or dancing with each other.
18 comments
Joe,
Some people enjoy films about romance. I, for one, found The Notebook to be a cinematographic masterpiece, rivaling the likes of The Godfather, the Shawshank Redemption, and definitely edging out Good Will Hunting.
Watch this, you’ll hate romance=)
Maybe you were with bad company? Or maybe the movie just isn’t meant to appeal to males as much as it is meant to appeal to females. I heard Rob Pattinson is gorgeous, so that might also be why so many girls enjoyed the movie and you didn’t.
oh yes, he was gorgeous…
I mean, not that I paid any attention, haha
His jaw is just amaaaazing.
Yea. And you’re right about not listening to Alyssa. Last time I followed her advice, we went in the COMPLETE OPPOSITE DIRECTION of where we were supposed to be headed.
Just kidding of course, Alyssa is great.
By the way, I liked the introduction. The first time I read it I wasn’t expecting you to go in the direction you went; it made it interesting. The class references were also quite tickling.
I noticed i made an error in my first sentence, “So there is one lesson I learned from this conversation, or from life” so I would like to correct it by changing “or from life” to “a lifelong lesson.”
great review, joe 😀
Since many people watched it for gorgeous Rob Pattinson, I’m sure Walter would enjoy it as much as he enjoyed Zac Efron. Right, Walter? Haha.
I’m going to watch it later on and see what all the fuss is about, but I’ll take this as a heads up. (:
Quite frankly, I feel that Twilight is, and will continue to the be, the zenith of literary and cinematic achievement of the 21st century. It truly epitomizes an avant-garde approach, brazenly pushing the envelope of what is the expected from a vampire movie and exploring untouched cinematic grounds.
Joe you made me cry.
Not really.
For the record, I do recall saying the movie was good mainly because of Robert Pattinson’s jaw. The other reason I liked it was because it was a billion times better than the book, which I hated so much my friend actually had to pay me to finish it. I expected Twilight to be just as shallow and awful as the book, but it was surprisingly good! The music was amazing, I liked the actors, and the special effects were good enough for my standards.
Also, Robert Pattinson is HOOOOOOOT
I still haven’t seen this movie!
joe. the reason he glows and not turn into some scary vampire thing, is not hollywood’s fault but rather the author. I actually enjoyed watch twilight. However I must say I enjoyed your review just as much.
P.S- You totally like romantic movies. Don’t lie. =P
I just have to comment because I also hate Twilight. The books moreso than the movie (I read a summary of the last book in the series and all I can say is WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THE AUTHOR SMOKING WHEN SHE WROTE IT; not to mention her completely annoying style of writing) — but yes the movie was still pretty awful. I was unfortunately suckered into watching it by [evil fangirls/]my friends. I think the movie had the worst acting and character development (“I HATE YOU WAIT I’M CONFUSED WAIT I LOVE YOU” does NOT count as character development……. although that’s probably mostly the book’s fault) out of any movie I’ve seen this year, and I’ve seen some pretty terrible movies. On some level it was entertaining, yes — I couldn’t stop laughing pretty much throughout the whole thing (when I wasn’t trying to strangle somebody for making me watch it); although I think in that case I was entertained for the wrong reason…
@ Corey- I am not a romance-movie person. But I can learn to appreciate them when they are, yes, good and well-made movies. This was unfortunately not one of them…
@ Alyssa- …Well yes I’d have to agree that the music was pretty good, too. And that the movie was less horribly terrible than the book. Although I think the reason most people like it is just because of Robert Pattinson… -_-
@ Joe- You are also not the only infuriated one, haha… I thought the glow-y scene thingy was hilarious. Again, for the wrong reason. The first thought that came to my mind was– Edward’s terrible secret: “I… …LIKE TO WEAR BODY GLITTER! IT MAKES ME FEEL SO PRETTY!!” followed by Bella’s cries of, “NO Edward, you’re NOT a monster… you’re… FABULOUS!!”
Haha, its great to see that someone else hates Twilight, maybe even more than I do. So I’m going to safely assume that the only part that made you laugh (allison), was the brother who looks like hes always in pain? hahaha that was hilarious
SOBS UR HATEFUL COMMENTS MADE ME CRY INSIDE…
but its okay
im still a HUGEEEE fan of twilight, FOR BOTH THE BOOK AND THE MOVIE!!!
THE BOOK IS DEF 239432084029384 TIMES BETTER THAN THE MOVIE!
but the movie IS AMAZZZZINGGGGGGGG too! cuz of the CRAZY chemistry b/w Rob & Kirsten (Edward & Bella in the movie) AND THE AWESOME DIRECTING BY THE DIRECTOR!!!
AHHHHHHHHH!
okay i am going to stop now
i love twilight
even if you guys hate it
=]
My eye is twitching.
(Corey, that’s so random!! ^ haha)
& I LOVE TWILIGHT! Well, I haven’t seen the movie yet but I really like the books. I’ve heard all kinds of mixed reviews about the movie but if you’ve read the book, you’ll have a newfound respect for the movie so…..GO READ! :]
Joyce, I’m SOOO with you on this one! twilightheads! :]
How come no one thought Robert Pattinson was hot when he was Cedric Diggory?? Nonetheless, the vampire with the incredible jaw makes for a mesmerizing male lead. 😀
Everyone is so passionate but everyone has such mixed opinions! Its forcing me to have to check the movie out for myself, that way I can form an opinion of my own…although I’m expecting the movie to lean more towards Joe’s perspective. Something just doesn’t seem right about a romantic vampire story.
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