Reading Response 4: Self or Family

In the play Ching Chong Chinaman by Lauren Yee, Grace is the obedient housewife that often gets overlooked. From the start of the play, Grace desperately tries to conceive a child with Ed. She believes having a newborn can provide her with a sense of purpose.

Grace is a character that lacks self-confidence. She struggles to validate herself and her efforts. She sees herself as someone who lacks interests and talents. Grace often feels self-doubt; “No, really. What do I do well? Who needs me?” (Yee 27). Grace fears that once Desdemona and Upton leave the house, she will have nothing to do. Although her children are flourishing in their academic and gaming careers, she seems to be stagnating.

As the play progresses and J becomes a more prevalent character in the story, we can see that Grace is slowly finding her passion and becoming more confident. The turning point for Grace was when Ed suggested she try tap dancing. Even though the tap shoes were too big for her, she quickly found interest as she tried them on and took her first steps. It is then that J appears tap dancing and responding to her moves. Her loneliness weakens as J communicates with her through body language. 

Towards the end of the play, she calls J by his name, “Jinqiang needs a ride to the border, dear” (Yee 72). She does not call J “Ching Chong” like her husband anymore but sees him as a respectable human who should be able to pursue his dreams. Through their bond over tap dancing, the two overlooked characters join together to create their own futures. Grace finally became pregnant after her entanglement with J. Grace’s pregnancy represents a newly found purpose and passion for herself. She is no longer the obedient housewife who does whatever her husband says, but a woman that knows what she wants. She found her passion for dance, and she can comfortably leave her family behind to pursue her own happiness.

Grace’s story shines a light on the issue of women having to prioritize between self and family. Around the world, it is generally accepted that women are supposed to devote their time to their families while men work to bring the money home. In the play, Grace is growingly unsatisfied with her circumstances and feels bored at home. Instead of finding a hobby, Grace first thought of having another baby. She is so used to prioritizing others that she struggles to care for herself. Finding a balance between self and family is extremely difficult and is an issue for many women today.