by Sophia Ebanks
“Nobody said it’d be easy…”
And certainly nobody said it’d be this hard.
I had nothing figured out and everything to show for it:
Bridges burned,
Things dismantled,
Fire hurled,
People hurt.
Even without sight,
I could already sense the ruins.
Like I took a hold of it all,
And tore it all asunder
With little regard to the big mess that would fall to the ground.
But who else was to clean the mess?
It’s very rare, if ever, to hear a builder say
“I built this, but yeah, I also destroyed it.”
So bend by bend,
piece by piece,
repeat by repeat.
I feel I had to fix it.
Aren’t builders supposed to be proud of their work,
Letting it stand tall?
But what if I let it be for a minute?
I could put a tarp over it.
Call it a night.
Hope for a long, sweet night to stunt the coming cold awakening again
Or I could go.
Maybe this wasn’t worth rebuilding,
if the tools were foreign to me in the first place
and I had a better chance at finding new stones.
Because what stood next to me is long gone;
It cannot be denied.
All I have here is this still air
What’s mine to come is waiting for me at baggage claim
Upon arrival to my next destination
Far from this dreadful site with its heavy memories and its deafening cries.
So I choose to go,
And I am not sorry.
What was calling me resounded
While what laid could barely rattle
Carrying that rubble could get messy,
It would be bearable
But it’s not me laying on the ground
This me stands here.
And you’ll hear me
As loud of this train rumbles on its tracks
You’ll hear me.
I was not weathered by destruction
I was crafted in its wondrous, uncontrollable work.
I’ll run on when the morning time comes
All that will be left is silence
With a story stuffed deep inside the pieces
Where it will remain.
