by Kristen Walsh
Each night I tip my head back
Down diphenhydramine hcl
I’ve had it since you left
I can’t sleep without it
Or maybe
I can’t sleep without you
It’s the color of your hair
I swear it’s the universe
Making a mock of me
It’s bitter sweet
Like the taste of your name
On my lips
On my tongue
Down my throat
You choke me
Make it hard to breathe
I have to gasp
Bend over
Stop
I have to stop myself
From taking that leap
That purple drink
It helps me sleep
But that train
Man
Would that train
Help me sleep
I changed my hair
It used to match yours
I’ve changed it
To change me
The universe
It’s making a mock of me
My hair
It’s the color of your eyes
I can’t sleep
Without you
Or without it
Let me sleep
Just let me sleep
I never want
To wake up
Because I never want
To see
Purple dye
Blue eyes
We were beautiful
Please don’t deny
I never want to hear
I never want to feel
Never again
You’ve already left
The blue in my hair
The green in my eyes
You left me behind
All those beautiful colors
They taste like poison
And cause me to drown
I gag as I step off the edge
