by Jadyn Marshall
Romeo (R), Benvolio (B), and Mercutio (M) walk onto the stage with five or six other guys, dressed up for a par-tay.
R: Guys, what are we gonna say to sneak into the party? Are we just going to walk in there like we own the place?
B: Are you kidding? It’s not cool to apologize for walking into a party uninvited anymore. It’s not like we’re going to terrorize everyone, dressed up in stupid costumes and frightening all the hot babes. And we’re certainly not gonna look like dweebs and explain that we’re crashing the party. They can decide if they want to throw us out after we show off our moves, and then we’ll get outta there.
R: Oh please. I’m too depressed to bust a move tonight. I’ll just carry the flashlight and spotlight you guys.
M: No way, you’re an awesome dancer! You’ve gotta show your stuff.
R: Wrong. I’m just not in the right mood. You guys go ahead and strut your stuff. Look, I can’t dance. My soul so sad that my shoes might as well be made out of lead.
M: That’s not true. You’re a player, bro. Just borrow cupid’s wings and take them for a spin. That’ll get you off the ground!
R: No, Mercutio. Cupid’s arrow pierced me too deep. I’m injured, ‘bro’. These wings aren’t going anywhere. Love’s just too serious to go flying around.
M: If you stay on the ground then you’re pulling your love down with you. Not cool, dude. You shouldn’t crush something so fragile.
R: Love isn’t light and delicate. It beats you down and then tangles you up in barbed wire.
M: If love beats you up, beat it up back! Cure yourself by finding a pretty girl to dance with. That’ll fix you up right, my brother. Hey, somebody get me mask. A mask to put over the mask I show the world, that is. Never mind. Why should I care if someone sees me for who I really am? Oh, but if some looks close enough they’ll see my flaws. Better wear a mask anyway. The mask can pretend to be shy if someone gets too close.
B (obliviously): Come on, let’s go in already and get this party started!
R: Alright, just give me a flashlight. You guys are so pumped, I won’t weigh you down. I can’t lose if I don’t play the game.
M: God, you’re being boring, Romeo. You’re such a stick in the mud! We’ll pull you right out of that mud… or love, whichever one you’re stuck in. Let’s go already! The day’s wasting!
R: No it’s not… its nighttime.
M (flippantly): Well, we’re wasting the batteries in the flashlights, so that’s practically the same thing. Don’t be so literal. Step into the world beyond the senses!
R (trying a different angle): Well, I really don’t think we should go to the party.
M: Are you nuts? Why not?
R: Well, last night I had this dream…
M: Me too.
R: Really? What was your dream about?
M: My dream told me that people who dream often lie, lover boy.
R: Well of course they lie! They’re lying in bed while they dream about things that are true!
M (making sexy noises): You know what else people do when they lie?
R: Stop talking, Mercutio.
M: I wasn’t going to go there! I was talking about this cool trip I went on the other day. There was a fairy, and—
R: Give it a rest. You’re not making any sense.
M: No, you’re right. I’m not making any sense, but that’s okay because dreams don’t make any sense either. Dreams come from doing nothing, which leads to insubstantial imagination. Dreams are like the wind, one moment dumping ten feet of snow on us and then melting everything with hot air.
B (still pumped): You’re full of hot air, and it’s blowing us off course. We’re gonna get lost and by the time we make it to the party it’ll be over!
R: I wish it were already over. I’ve got a bad feeling about this, guys. But I’ll be spontaneous and tag along. Let’s go!
B (oblivious): Gimme a beat, bros! Benvolio proceeds to rap.
