by Rhia Singh
The sunlight filters through the window and illuminates the purple buds of my lavender plant. The plant is the only piece of home that I brought with me. Its smell makes me think of the last summer. My parents, siblings and I visited Lavender by the Bay and when I close my eyes I can see the acres of green that are spotted with purple. I open my eyes and instead of rolling fields, I spot the eggshell walls that surround me.
After I grab some yogurt from my mini-fridge, I rush to choose my outfit for the first day of class.
My hands dance over the soft wool of a worn out sweater with “Humans v. Zombies Club” on it. The red letters are peeling off the faded sweater. I stick my finger in the small hole under the right arm. This sweater smells like grass, coffee and Roger. The sleeves are so long from wear that they stretch back to all the late-night chats with my team members. It’s all the inside jokes and secrets that only my friends from back home know. This is the perfect outfit.
After spending 10 minutes trying to decide on the part of my hair, my alarm starts blaring.
Oh crap, I’m going to be late. I need to leave now. Before I run out the door, I rip off a flower from my lavender plant and shove it in my back pocket.
I grab everything I could possibly need – water, phone charger, notebook, back-up notebook, hair tie, chap stick, a pen, my phone and my key – and run out the door to meet my new friend, Caroline.
She smiles at me and timidly waves as she asks, “Are you ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be. I mean it’s just school. We’ve been doing it for 18 years. What’s another 4 years?” I respond as we hop on the bus to school.
“Yeah. I guess.” And with that, we rode in silence. Everything’s going to be fine. There’s nothing to worry about. Nothing at all. I’ve done this before. I mean, not this. But it’s school. Nothing new. Just school. Just a building. Just some random people. It will be fine. I repeat that mantra over and over again, until we arrive at college. It will be fine. It will be fine.
And it is fine… for the first two minutes. Then my heart seizes. I frantically search through the pockets of my bag. It has to be in here somewhere. It has to be!
“Hey, is everything okay?” Caroline asks.
“Oh, yeah. Of course, I’m fine. See you later. Text me when your class ends,” I say as I continue to poke around in my bag.
She nods and says, “Okay, yeah, see you later,” as she disappears into the swarm of people. I move to a corner and start removing my notebooks and pens from my bag. Eventually, my bag is empty and I realize that I forgot my schedule at home.
I sit on the side as my sweaty palms fiddle with the loose string on the end of my sweater. This is the sweater my coach gave to me after I made the cut freshman year and joined the club. I miss it. I miss knowing everyone and knowing where my classes are. This building is huge and crowded. It’s nothing like high school. It’s completely foreign.
“Hey, you okay?” asks a voice from behind me. I turn around and I see a girl smiling at me.
“We live on the same floor at the dorm. My name’s Olivia, but everyone just calls me Liv.”
“Oh, hey. I’m Sarah. Everything’s fine, but I just can’t find my schedule. Are you a freshman?”
“No, I’m not, I’m a Junior. Don’t worry about the first day. It’s syllabus day. Nothing important happens.”
I nod, but I can’t shake the dread I feel. This day could not be any worse, but then before the lump in my throat can fully clog my throat, I hear a voice, “Hey you want to see dank memes?”
“What?” I choke out as I laugh. “Of course I do. By the way, I’m Sarah.”
“Hey, I’m Adam,” he says as we scroll through memes on his phone.
“That’s my friend,” Sarah says. “Don’t worry, he’s not just some creep who lurks around showing memes to random freshman.” She looks at the memes over my shoulder.
“Aren’t I?” retorts Adam.
After a few moments, Liv asks, “So, Sarah, do you know what you want to major in?”
“No, I don’t. I’m just trying stuff out,” I respond with a little shrug.
“That’s good. That’s what you’re here for. Just try things out,” Liv says with a reassuring smile. “By the way, what class are you supposed to be in right now?” Liv asks.
“Economics,” I say.
“Oh, me too,” responds Adam. “Who’s your professor?”
“Leder something I think,” I say.
“Lederseikerjohnson? I have him. We out?” he asks.
“Yea, oh my goodness thank goodness we met,” I say with a smile. We walk off to our class and when I wave good-bye to Liv over my shoulder, I realize that my lavender fell out of my pocket. Students had walked all over the small bud, so it would be useless to pick it up, but the scent of lavender still covers my sweater. I take a quick whiff and rush to catch up with Adam as we walk to my first college class.
