Sayeeda held in her hands two objects, a piece of cardboard with a world map on one side and container of black pushpins. The first thought that crossed my mind was that her self-portrait would have something to do with identity. Was she having trouble deciding where her affiliation or loyalty belonged to? But as soon as she began her performance, I knew that my initial conjecture was wholly inaccurate. I watched Sayeeda as she held her right hand over her eyes, pick up a push pin with her left, and stuck the pin into a random place on the map. She repeated this multiple times, opening her eyes and looking at where she placed the pin after each repetition. I was very intrigued by her performance, but I still did not understand what she was trying to show us. She suddenly flips the cardboard map backwards and on it are the words, “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. – Albert Einstein.” Her entire performance came together for me in that one sentence. It was as if someone finally turned on all of the lights in the room and I was able to see the other side clearly.

The power in Sayeeda’s performance lay within its initial ambiguity. Not knowing the true meaning of her actions kept the audience entranced and eager to discover her intentions. From her self-portrait, we learn that Sayeeda wants to help others without judgement and her desire to do so is apparent in her smile and lighthearted aura on ‘stage’. Her overall performance was simple and clean, and it elucidated a side of her that we have already caught a glimpse of from the start.

There is a distinct difference between watching a live performance and capturing it on film. The overall experience of watching something in person is much more… whole. You know that you are in the same room as the performer, sharing the same environment and all that comes with it. Witnessing and filming it, however, can be a totally different experience. The performer suddenly becomes isolated in a small, separate area. It feels as if he/she is in a different space, one that you are watching, but not sharing. But for me, watching her self-portrait on camera did not take away from it at all. I am quite used to filming events, but sometimes I get so consumed with taking pictures or videos that I forget that I should actually be living the experience itself. I tried to alternate between watching Sayeeda live and on camera, which can be a little tricky, especially when it comes to holding the camera steady.

There were no flashing lights, elaborate set designs, or complex musical accompaniment, but Sayeeda’s message still came out powerfully and clearly because she put all of herself into her performance.