The last few weeks before I boarded on a plane to Paris are a blur. Everything came and went so quickly and I can’t remember much of what I did, except that I watched a lot of Korean dramas and rarely left my house. One vivid memory, though, is my last-minute rush to finish packing.
PACKING:
I’m not going to give you any advice on packing because I failed miserably at that. But I can give you some warnings: PACK AHEAD OF TIME. I knew that I needed to pack early, but I still procrastinated with the excuses that:
- I still had plenty of time left to pack. Packing’s not that difficult. I already created a list of things that I need to bring (which I ended up neglecting for the most part). The rest is easy. (No it is not.)
- The suitcases wouldn’t fit in my room. I can’t pack until I can properly lie the suitcases down in my room because once I put clothes in there, I am never closing the suitcases and storing them upright. (Completely false.)
- I was still wearing the clothes that I needed to pack. I have to wait for a while, until it gets closer to the departure date, for me to really pack. (But all of that time, I could’ve packed all the clothes that I wasn’t wearing.)
In the end, I think it all boils down to my inner-reluctance to acknowledge that packing meant I would be leaving soon. And not just on a nice family vacation, but on a year by myself, for the first time. Those last days were dark days. Or, more accurately put, bright days. On my last two days before the flight, I packed the whole day until maybe 6-7AM, then I took a short nap and resumed packing at around 10AM. I don’t do all-nighters, so that was my sleep for the day.
Why was packing so difficult for me? Well, I have a love-hate relationship with my clothes. Some days, I love an article, but most other days, I hate. Sometimes, I love it for a long time, then grow to hate it, until one random day, I like it again. But most of the time, I dislike all of my clothes. So, I first had to distinguish between which clothes I disliked, but still thought were nice enough to bring with me to Paris. That was a difficult. And even after deciding all of that, my suitcases were still too heavy. So I had to complete the arduous task of getting rid of things that I already set my mind on bringing. After all, everything that I had chose to bring, I chose for a specific reason. Now, I had to narrow it down even more. Quite stressful, I must say. In the end, I narrowed down my clothing items and after being in Paris for two months now, I have not once felt, “I wish I brought so-and-so clothing article with me!” My wardrobe felt so huge while I was packing, but here it feels so small. Small yet sufficient.
I began packing on July 19, almost a whole month before my flight. But still, my less-admirable qualities got ahold of me and packing became a complete mess in the week before leaving.
About 2-3 weeks later, I resumed packing and got serious business done, including putting things into space-saving bags. I ended up having to take some clothes out of the space bags because I had too much.
Here’s a shot of my smaller, carry-on suitcase that I ended up not using.
I just think this is a cool photo.
My last day packing.
Everything all nicely enclosed.
After ditching the carry-on suitcase that weighed too much, I tried to decide which carry-on bag was better suited to carry all my junk.
A laundry hamper full of my final, reject clothes – clothes that I would not bring with me to France.
All my miscellaneous items waiting to be packed into my suitcase.
The joy and relief of finishing packing, just a mere 4 or 5 hours before my flight.
In the last photo, there are two quite large suitcase. The bigger one is mine and the smaller one…is also mine. I can’t help you with packing a year’s worth of stuff into one suitcase because I was fortunate enough to be going on vacation with my family before settling down in Paris. Therefore, my parents let me have one of their suitcases to carry extra things while they shared one. And it all works out because my return flight through Icelandair allows two suitcases and a carry-on. Yes!
AT THE AIRPORT:
Even after I had finished packing, I did not feel any sadness about leaving home and NYC. Maybe it was because my family was going on vacation with me for two weeks before they left me on my own that I didn’t feel sad or scared. But as my dad was driving us to the airport that last night, my sister said something about crying and then, suddenly, my eyes began to tear a bit. Yup, I was sad inside all along.
Nowadays, I am fine. I don’t feel all that homesick, but occasionally, I will remember something about home and miss it or feel nostalgic. Ah well, ’tis life. Fond memories of the past, exciting prospects for the future, happiness in the present.
