Though Adrienne Rick wrote “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence” over 30 years ago, “compulsory heterosexuality” is alive and well. Despite the contemporary more popular theoretical view that sexuality is fluid and does not fit cleanly into labels of “heterosexual” and “homosexual” there is still an overwhelming expectation in American society that heterosexuality is the “default” sexual orientation of anyone – male or female. Nothing makes this more clear than the coming out ritual, something that has become expected from gay and lesbian young adults.
(c) the Human Rights Campaign – Fair Use
If sexuality really were considered fluid, if we were ‘born this way’, a young adult should be able to bring home a partner of the same or opposite gender without it raising eyebrows. Instead, anyone who “deviates” from the heterosexual norm imposed by society is seen as making a choice, whereas those who choose heterosexual identity/relationships are succumbing to the imposed sexuality of society (perhaps unknowingly) – NOT making a choice. If a woman chooses a female partner, she is coming out – what can be a surprising, shocking event for the other people in her life. But if a woman brings home a male partner, she is not “coming out” as heterosexual, since she was already considered such due to compulsory heterosexuality.
I’m not advocating that self-identified heterosexual people (or those who exclusively participate in heterosexual relationships) should start coming out as well – although that of course, can be just as much of a choice. Coming out at all should be unnecessary.
I do not wish to demean or ignore the positive, cathartic effects of coming out in society in which compulsory heterosexuality still functions. However, it is only when coming out is no longer necessary that the political institution that is heterosexuality will finally be breaking down.
Jane Caputi, in her 1989 article “The Sexual Politics of Murder,” makes an argument that one of the ways compulsory heterosexuality is enforced is through violence toward women, what Caputi calls “patriarchal terrorism.” Watching the documentary “Defending Our Lives,” about women who are convicted of killing their batterers, certainly proved this patriarchal terrorism exists. It was disturbing to see how men were not held accountable for their violent acts, while women were held responsible for committing a singular violent act in order to escape the terror. This sort of victim-blaming when a woman is the victim of male violence brought to mind the recent controversies over colleges and other organizations putting out pamphlets and fliers that advise women how to “avoid rape” – there’s even a wiki-how article!
If you don’t understand the problem with this, read: “What’s wrong with suggesting that women take precautions to prevent being raped?” on this FAQ Feminism 101 Blog. Bottom-line – a woman never chooses to be raped.
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