I started this blog post by asking my mom how she thinks I’ve changed since the internet came around. I could talk about the things that I think have changed – the internet has given me access to fandom, I’ve learned a ton of stuff from the ‘net that I might not otherwise know (not all of them good things – we haven’t really addressed the negative aspects of totally open access online, but my parents never could figure out how to instill parental controls faster than I could figure out ways around them…) but I honestly can’t remember a time before I was huddled in front of the family desktop, listening to the BEEEP BEEP WHIIIIIIIR of the dial-up loading. Oh, AOL.

I do remember a time before cell phones, however, but it’s actually hysterical to think about it. I was still dependent on my parents for transportation anyway, so planning ahead was the way of life, instead of my “we’ll figure it out later, call me,” attitude of today. I don’t know how much of the change was just technological access vs. growing up, but it’s a definite attitude shift that happened alongside my gaining a cell phone. So, I suppose that’s a change to take notice of.

IPods are also something that changed me a lot. Before my iPod, I barely listened to music at all, and I was only tentatively buying some CD’s for my CD player. These days, music is an integral part of my life, and my iPod is a huge source of entertainment for me. Youtube always allows me to preview songs before I spend money on them. So, that’s a change that I can trace to technological shift, but again, it happened while I was growing up, and I might have found more music anyway.

Back to my mother didn’t really notice any of that. Her perspective was that technology has made me far less social. She mentioned that I used to spend hours on the family computer, then my own computer, and now on my laptop. Holed up in my room. By myself. And she has a point, I guess. I can be “social” now, without ever leaving the comfort of my room, so why bother? Most of my face-to-face social life happens on Saturdays, when I can’t use the internet at all.

Before the internet was easily available in my house, leisure time was spent either playing actively or reading. I had the best Barbie collection of all my friends, and I played basketball and baseball depending on the season. I also regularly took out a double handful of books from the library every Friday to devour over the course of a week. Again, many of these things might have changed because I am older. But I can tell that the internet has cut directly into my reading time, and probably into my social time as well. How many times has my cell phone rung and I don’t want to pick up because I have 23 tabs open, three videos running, and a paper hovering somewhere in the background and being social just takes more effort? How many times have I chosen not to go out because hauling myself into the city is just more annoying than watching the latest episode of Glee on Hulu?

Of course, I’m more in touch with more distant friends, with my clever usage of facebook, email and skype. But overall, no matter how much I bemoan the fact that these websites are cheap replacements for real interaction, I still end up using them to stay in touch with more local friends. Technology seems to build a lot of barriers between people in some ways, even while it provides outlets for meeting new people through forums and classes. So my mother had a point – from her perspective, I do favor the internet over family interaction whenever I’m home. I argue that I’m doing homework, which I am, but I’m doing it alone, in my room, instead of at the dining room table like I did in the days of notebooks and paper homework.

Did technology change me? Certainly, no question about it. I’ve always been tech-savvy, the kind of girl who’d rather take apart old computers than watch TV, and I can’t imagine a time when I wasn’t surrounded by technology. So I can’t actually understand how technology changed me, since there hasn’t been a time to compare. Instead, I’ll talk about how technology influenced me.

Technology made me a better friend…and maybe also a worse one. I’m one of those people who hates talking on the phone, and I took to email correspondence so eagerly that even the friends I see every day know better than to call me- they text message or email instead. Because of this, I’ve found it easy to keep in touch with long-distance friends. But then again, because of this I’ve grown lazy when it comes to keeping in touch with those who don’t use email or texting as often as most, and I rarely speak to them anymore.

Technology made me a better student…and maybe also a worse one. I’ve become more curious about things I learn, now that all the information is at my fingertips via phone or computer. Then again, I’ve also gotten lazy. If I can’t do it on the computer, I tend to forget about it. Rarely will I do research through books, which are more detailed, if I can just Google something and get a faster (if not more elaborate) answer to my questions. And this is barely the tip of the iceberg. I can barely divide anymore now that I’m accustomed to using a calculator. I’ve lost other basic skills now that simple technology takes care of them all.

Technology made me a better reader…and maybe also a worse one. My library’s website, eBay, Amazon.com’s used books…all have allowed me to get a hold of books I would never buy at their original price, since I don’t like to buy anything I don’t already know that I like. Sites like Scribd, Wattpad, and Google Books have also allowed me to sample book before reading. And the interpretations for poetry and classics that I’ve found online have definitely enhanced my reading comprehension skills. But there’s also the downside to that, the amount of books that I won’t bother reading (for school or for fun) because I can just research them online and get a sufficient amount of information to write or talk about them. The worst case of this was two semesters ago, when I’d call up the Sparknotes page for whichever chapter we were reading on my phone during class as my only source for discussion. And there’s also fanfiction, which (as well-written as it can be) has spoiled me so thoroughly that I rarely read actual books anymore- I actually print out pages and pages of fanfiction in tiny print for the Sabbath, when I can’t go online.

Technology made me a better thinker…and maybe also a worse one. I’ve already discussed the negative aspect to this, the idea that someone else’s research easily becomes your thoughts, but there’s so much more to it than that. On online forums, I’ve been forced to reevaluate ideas that seem so clear to me and those around me when they’re challenged by others outside of my circles. And I’m also forced to explain myself, therefore bringing me to a greater understanding of what exactly I’m saying and clarifying and organizing it for myself.

Technology made me a better writer. I can’t think of any ways that this has really backfired on me. I know that some people complain that online slang has diminished their writing to a series of “lols” and words like “nite” and “tho,” but writing online, whether in forums and discussions or even long emails to friends, has only made me more verbose. Little things like Microsoft Word’s thesaurus and this list have helped me keep my writing fresh and interesting…though I admit that I’m not much of a poet anymore. For some reason, it’s difficult for me to write poetry by computer instead of by hand.

Technology made me a worse speaker. I honestly run out of things to say these days, when I can’t type them first. My train of thought isn’t as clear when I can’t see it stated before I “send” it, even when I’m casually talking to some of my friends. I’ve become so accustomed to looking at a screen (or talking into a phone) that face-to-face communication just isn’t as clear.

So it looks like I’m on the way toward becoming a recluse author, based on this. But honestly, aren’t we all, to some degree? We’re shut off and opened up all at once with technology, it’s just another contradiction with which we live. There’s that old slogan, “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people,” and I’m inclined to agree that it applies in terms of technology. It is what we make of it- blessing or curse, aid or detriment, danger or safety. It’s only a tool, one that can influence us over time just as much as age, location, family, health, education, and other factors in our ever-changing world do.

July 10, 1990… 12:01 PM (give or take about 12 hours)

The world was given the gift of me.  The first people to see me were not my mother and father, but the staff of zombie-robot nurses who delivered me… Okay, so I do not have a major technologically relevant event on the day I was born.  Maybe my grandchildren will be born at the hands of zombie-robot nurses, or better yet, maybe my granddaughter-in-law will BE a zombie-robot nurse.

Either way, this is the diary of every technological event I can remember (or at least several of them).  This is the best way for me to see how technology has changed me.

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1994, Summer

My father inherited some land upstate when his father passed, and a small house on the acres of the estate.  It was a small farmhouse, but I had been there a few times.  My father had taught me to drive the tractor (yes I realize I was four, but it was my fourth or fifth time driving it and I never had a problem before).  The tractor I was used to was a manual transmission (cannot drive stick shift today, but apparently I could when I was four).  This day, my father made me use the other tractor, it was automatic.  He contends that I kicked the manual into high gear too much, but at least I knew how to drive it.  Anyway, new tractor, tried to shift gears when there were no gears to shift.  Drove through a wall on the porch side of the house. I will pause for all your applause.

..

Thank you I appreciate that.  Anyway, in my father’s rage, rather than drive the tractor over my legs, he brought me into the basement, gave me a SEGA Genesis (remember those?) and told me not to move.  I played Sonic 2 for what seemed like 24 hours while he fixed my mess.  My first experience with video games.  This is may not seem important, but I would grow to spend more of my formative years playing video games then I would be proud to admit.

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1998, Late Summer

Preparing for 4th grade, my father bought me the computer game “JumpStart 4th Grade”.  It was all little games where I had to save robots by completing challenges in different school subjects.  Why are my games trying to teach me stuff?  Is it not horrible enough that I am forced to read… (gulp) BOOKS?  No this was not my reaction.  I loved books when I was a kid.  And I loved this game. Video games + learning?  This could catch on.  This was the first time I associated the computer with anything besides Tomb Raider and Super Mario Checkers.  I think that has to be significant, doesn’t it?

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2003, February

Peer pressure finally got to me.  Thus far in my journey I have become addicted to video games, and I have associated the computer with learning.  So we covered fun and learning, and now we add a third component, the social component.  Peer pressure of the seventh grade forced me to beg my parents to let me use AIM.  I had to talk to my friends, I just had to.  Relentless begging forced their hand, and I got on my dial-up connection and spent my hour instant messaging my friends.  We all discussed this earlier in the semester, how some of us like hiding behind the screen name or feel more comfortable expressing ourselves in writing, and I really blossomed over the internet.  I spoke much more confidently, much more fluidly, and I just felt better about myself.  And I did not stay hidden behind “GiNGaBrEdMaN03” or however I spelled it, the skills I developed online I inherited face-to-face.  What AIM gave me was a medium for which to explore my personality, and try things out.  It brought real confidence to my everyday life.  The shy and humble 12 year old developed into the comfortable 14 year old who eventually with the help of AIM, became the arrogant and cocky 17 year old.  Every bit of confidence, good or not, started with gingabredman03.

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2005, Marchish

Social networking hit an all time high (cough low cough) with the explosion of MySpace.  Everyone had one, and after 6 months of refusal, peer pressure once again took control.  I snapped some photos, I picked a catchy tune, found a nice background, and sold my soul to the devil.  It was also around this time, and a little earlier, I really began to utilize typing up papers and looking up information on a heavy basis.  With a new wireless connection, between homework and socializing, I could be on the internet from the time I got home from the park for dinner all the way until bed.  The technology I had kept at arm’s length so long was beginning to consume me.

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2007, Septemberish

After months of refusing, once again I crack. Hello FaceBook, goodbye handing in assignments early.  I cannot even wish I never had it, because it did make it easy for me to get in touch with my football team (not my high school team, the team I played for after my high school career) in terms of finding out when games were and what time.  Aside from that, wow it really was a waste of time.  Hate FaceBook.  Also, trying to keep my technologies at arm’s length, I applied to all my colleges by paper application… except of course CUNY, which does not allow that.  It was, by the way, the most difficult application process, in terms of glitches and poor site response.  But I had to do it, and of course that is the school I would end up with.

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2008, September

I received my Hunter e-mail address, and I had to actually check it.  This would mark the first time in my life I had an e-mail address that I checked more than twice a year.  That is correct.  I went eighteen years without e-mail.  Shocking?  I still do not have e-mail on my phone, I just wait until I get home to check it.  I know, how do I live?  But that is a point of pride for me.  I can live without it.  I would not even check it ever if it was not completely necessary to keep up with my classes.  I am used to it now, but it was difficult at first.  Later in this first semester of college (due to lack of ESPN at the dorms), I discovered my favorite technological advancements: blogs and podcasts.  I began reading blogs and columns from my favorite sportswriters to hear the stories I could not watch any more.  My favorite shows on ESPN were now in podcast form, and I listened to them religiously.  It really became an integral part of surviving in the dorm life.  Now I subscribe to a bunch, and I read the blogs daily, even getting restless when nothing new is posted.

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2009, Summer

I got a Twitter, which is something I did not even know I liked so much until my Twitter rant in the forum.  It is the organizer of all my information.  Everything I look for on the internet can be found on my Twitter feed.  And I have cut off many ties with Faccia Libre thanks to it.  FaceBook is now reduced only to long threads where my friends and I just add joke after joke, usually at one of our other friend’s expense.  If that is all I use FaceBook for, well, I could live with that.

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December, 2009, into the Spring Semester of 2010

This is beginning to run long, but it is almost done.  I want to mention that three classes have really progressed me even further into the technology sector I avoid.  CHC 200 I was forced to make a video as part of my group’s final project.  CHC 250 is forcing me as well.  Force holds negative connotation here, but it really is a good thing.  Knowing how to work these programs such as iMovie and create a short film is very important.  I know this because right before I began writing this diary, I just shot, edited, published, and annotated a video of me eating cheese balls.  It took me about ten minutes to get this under 90 second movie from my head onto YouTube and in front of my sister’s computer screen.  I guess those skills are useful, because I do not know what she would have done without that video.

And finally, the biggest leap I took was Alternate Worlds.  This class is changing the way I look at education; it is changing the way I experience the internet.  It is what this class is meant for, and it is beautifully shaping me in more ways than the course probably realizes.

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It is the last section here that really has changed my view on technology.  It is not for nerds or techies, and just because I love to go out and play sports does not mean there is not a place for me in cyberspace.  When I made my Twitter account, I did it as a joke.  Since then, I have come to love the affect it has on my life.  The same with e-mail.  These things are not wastes of times, they are not merely mainstream “gotta-have-its”.  No longer will I judge everything as an “internet fad”.  Technology not only makes life easier, but directly and indirectly changes life and people we are.  It is important to keep up with.  Without SEGA Genesis when I was four, without AIM at twelve, I would not be doing anything today the way I am.  I would be a menial student, a worse athlete, a lesser friend, a sub-par brother, a mediocre son, and an outright inferior person than Rob DiRe as I know him.

And my parents said that AIM was evil, shame on them.