When raising a child, parents seek the best environment for their children to be raised in. Vitaliy Agboneni, a classmate that had agreed to sit down for an interview with me, shared his family’s story of immigration and finding the right spot.
Vitaliy was born and raised in Odessa, Ukraine. His parents, seeking the best setting for their child to live in, began their history of immigration when Vitaliy was only 4 years old. Anna, Vitaliy’s mother, journeyed to Brooklyn, New York on her own. She took up any jobs she could find and began studying for medical and English speaking exams. During her time in the states, she lived in her friend’s house and prepared for Vitaliy and his father’s arrival to the United States. Vitaliy’s father, Serg, stayed in Odessa with Vitaliy waiting for an opportunity to rejoin his wife.
A snapshot of Odessa, Ukraine. Although Vitaliy speaks negatively of its people, the city itself is beautiful.
Due to some unclear reasons, Vitaliy stated that he and his father were unable to enter the United States until his father legally married someone. Although Vitaliy hinted that his father most likely delayed his immigration for an US Citizenship, he claimed that he was unable to go further into detail at the moment. Vitaliy’s father decided to legally marry the friend who cared for Anna in order to gain US citizenship, and Vitaliy reunited with his mother at the age of 5. In order to best provide for their son, Anna allowed Serg to marry a different woman! The amount of dedication Anna and Serg put in to find the right setting for their child was astonishing.
Anna and Serg had believed that immigrating to America would be better due to the changing economic, social, and political structures in Ukraine. The CCCR (an abbreviation for the Soviet Union in the Russian language) had only recently split apart and the impact of the split changed Ukraine rapidly. According to Vitaliy, residents from the outside village regions such as Moldavia began to move into his hometown of Odessa. His parents described how the culture and grace they remembered living through was no longer the same. The outside villagers were described as reckless and uneducated. Politically, Ukraine was becoming corrupt as rich businessmen took advantage of the situation. Vitaliy states that one of these corrupt individuals had been an acquaintance of Serg. Serg’s friend had leveraged the corruption in his favor and created the largest aquarium resort in Odessa. Vitaliy’s parents decided that the environment of Odessa was no longer a suitable place to live in, and moved away to alter their atmosphere. They heard attractive tales of New York City from distant friends and decided to take the risk.
Vitaliy’s family sacrificed more than their own lifestyles in order to come to the states. Anna had graduated with the Ukrainian equivalent of an Associate’s Degree according to Vitaliy. Serg had finished four years of study in a university and had gone on to study law in Odessa. He later had to abandon law school in order to leave. Whatever careers that they had hoped to achieve in Ukraine had been terminated by their decision to immigrate to the United States.
But in the end, Vitaliy believes that the trip was worth it. After immigrating, Vitaliy and his family settled several times in different neighborhoods in Brooklyn. Currently, they live in Brighton Beach, a neighborhood known for its growing Russian-speaking population. When asked about the possibility of having lived a better life in his native country, Vitaliy replied that he saw Ukraine as a place where you can succeed through violence and deception. Having visited his native country on at least 8 other occasions, he found that individuals were generally more vulgar and selfish. He described it as a dangerously competitive neighborhood that didn’t foster any open-mindedness. Vitaliy even compared the attitudes of New Yorkers to those from Odessa and exclaimed how New Yorkers at least understood emotions and feelings. One particular line stood out the most in his description: “in Odessa, the people literally don’t understand other people’s feelings. To them, saying something with either a smile or a pissed face is the exact same thing.” With these descriptions, it was easy to see why Vitaliy’s parents had decided to give up so much.
The boardwalk in Brighton Beach. This area is very close to Coney Island’s Luna Park.
Luckily for Vitaliy, assimilating into the United States was not difficult. Vitaliy still identifies himself as more Ukrainian than American, blaming it on the part of his childhood spent in his homeland. But he stated that he fit in just fine with the American education system and had 3 Chinese friends that he exclusively hung out with throughout his elementary school life. His most difficult dilemma was that of a “millennial generation kid with immigrant parents.” Because his parents had gone through so much trouble to see his success, Vitaliy was guilt-driven to surpass his parent’s expectations. He found that he was working himself harder in order to satisfy his parent’s desires. He didn’t believe that was the best way to live, and even went as far as to call it “the most poisonous situation” to be in.
Ironically, Vitaliy and his family were never really able to escape Odessa completely. Until a year ago, Vitaliy had lived in a non-Russian speaking neighborhood. Although he had moved away from Ukraine, his new neighborhood in Brighton Beach had been named “Little Odessa” for its growing Russian-speaking population. He claims that every face outside of his apartment in Brooklyn belongs to a Russian or of another Eastern European nationality. Though Vitaliy has the opportunity to grow closer to his community with his background, he chooses not to because his neighbors are similar to the people that his family migrated away from in Ukraine – vulgar and careless of others. Vitaliy doesn’t contemplate going back to his native country to settle permanently either. He believes that his chances of finding legitimate success here were much better than in Odessa.
A photo of one of Brighton Beach’s streets. The area had become heavily populated with Russian-speaking immigrants in the past year according to Vitaliy.
In Vitaliy’s story, I saw periodically a theme of struggling to find the right environment in America. The theme begins with his parents sacrificing their previous lifestyles to look for an environment in which they could raise their child safely. It developed into the effort in finding the correct place in the states to settle down. When Vitaliy began to become educated, he found himself fitting into the American educational environment. But when it seemed as if Vitaliy and his family had finally found the perfect setting, Odessa began to reappear in their lives. Their journey in finding the right spot had not yet ended.
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