They were very frugal.
My mom told me that her mom used to,
you know like the paper towel rolls?
She used to use paper towels, and just hang them up to dry and reuse them;
I don’t know how effective that was but she would try it anyway.
– What changes in lifestyle did your family make when they came here?
Lillian was born in New York. Her dad is Italian, who was also born in here; her mom is Greek, born in Australia and immigrated to America. Lily is quite a traveler, so far she has been to England, Scotland, Canada and Mexico.
Lily’s mother was born in Australia, but her family is Greek; Lily’s mom moved to the United States when she was 2 or 3 years old in the 1970s. Lily’s mother was not the first member in her family to come to the U.S., as Lily describes, “ My mom’s uncle was the first in the family to come to America, he chose to come to America because he heard stories about the American dreams, and he wanted to have his own business, which turned out to be a food stand.” Following her uncle’s steps, Lily’s mom immigrated to America with her parents. They came straight to New York because there used to be a big Greek community in Astoria, Queens.
Lily’s mother embraced the living style in America fairly well, however, Lily’s grandmother never learned to speak English and therefore, Lily’s mother had to play a core role in translating, paying the bills, and helping her mother to be familiar with the community. Moreover, when thinking about the lifestyle that her family had to adjust when immigrating to US, Lily recalls one vivid incident, “My mom told me a story another day that it would be really sad to watch her mom sitting in the house with a TV on, but my mom knew she didn’t understand anything that was going on, and she would just wait for this one time of the day where a show in Greek would come up that she would understand.”
Photo of Greece
I understand the situation of Lily’s grandmother, as I remember one of my aunts did the same way. There are immigrants who moved to the US be united with their family, yet were not able to learn English and hence, their social activities are limited to their cultural community and family members. For those immigrants, assimilation to American community may seem far distant; they may be more willing to strictly remember and practice their traditions, to be at least bounded to the culture they already familiar with, and able to rely their spirit on something that is not “foreign”.
Indeed, having able to know a second language was not as beneficial as in today. Numerous immigrant families would prefer their child to only learn English and no other languages. However, Lily’s mother’s first language is actually Greek. “It was not as difficult for my mom to learn Greek as it could have been”, Lily recalls, “I know that my mom went to a Greek Catholic school her whole life. So, she was around Greek people the whole time, speaking Greek a lot. She had to attend Greek class and speak Greek with her friends.”
Feast of Seven Fishes
On Lily’s father’s side, there is a very limited immigration history that Lily knows about. Lily’s grandparents grew up in what used to be Little Italy, they got married at a young age and moved to Middle Village in Queens, and then moved to Astoria. “My dad’s family is from Italy, but my dad was born in New York and my grandparents were born in New York. And I think that -” Lily paused for a second, “my great grandparents were also born in New York, so my Grandparents’ grandparents came from Italy.” In regards to cultural identity, Lily tells, “my dad and my grandparents don’t speak Italian; so they are very American. I tried to ask why, but I guess this is a sensitive subject. I know that my grandparents’ parents spoke Italian, but for whatever reason, my grandparents didn’t pick it up.” Even though Lily’s family does not speak Italian, they still remain Italian traditions, Lily shares, “My grandpa wears a pinky ring, which is a very Italian thing. They celebrate Feast of the Seven Fishes,
St. Joseph’s day and St. Anthony’s. They say that you have to pray to him if you lose something, and you will find it. It never worked on me though.”
While it is difficult to trace back her father side’s immigrant story, Lily indicates, “I assume that my dad’s family came through Ellis Island, but I don’t know for sure.” Furthermore, when I ask about the difficulties that Lily’s family might have when immigrating to the US, Lily shares one interesting history, “You know, my last name is Mangialino, so it wasn’t changed at all. I mean, not that everybody on Ellis Island was changed, but they would make them sound more American,” Lily continues to explain, “You know many Italian last names start with De or Di, what that actually means, in Italian, is ‘of this place’. So they would confuse with the last name and the town. So in America, they would put down your last name as where you actually from. So, many Italian American people have a last name that actually isn’t their family name. But mine would assume to stay the same, since my last name is not a place or anything.” Lily’s explanation was so interesting that I searched further about the change of last name at Ellis Island and found an article (Click here to view) from New York Public Library argues that family name was not changed at Ellis Island. One insight the article presents is that, “Inspectors did not create records of immigration; rather they checked the names of the people moving through Ellis Island against those recorded in the ship’s passenger list, or manifest”. Nevertheless, some comments from the readers confirmed Lily’s sharing, indicated that their Italian family name was changed.
Italian Gelato.. Just for sharing
Both sides of Lily’s family offer significant insights of different lifestyle that immigrants have, and many of these differences are due to different level of cultural assimilation. Lily’s grandma on her mother’s side has language barrier, which may have confined her grandma from interacting with a more diverse community. On the other hand, Lily’s father’s side of the family has settled in America for over four generations. While their lifestyle changes to be “very American”, as Lily mentions, some typical Italian traditions have still remained in her family.
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