When one thinks of immigration, what comes to mind is a scene of thousands of people making their journey across the ocean to the United States. The United States of America, rumored to hold a trove of opportunities. The United States of America, sought out because of its endless wealth. The United States of America, where everyone is headed. Although immigrants were headed to the same place, they all had different reasons. Many immigrants chose to make the trip as an escape. They were escaping danger, escaping their past, escaping the restraints of their home country. Others were lured in by the riches that were just a grasp away. Every family has their own reason for finding their way to America, but what matters isn’t the differences, but rather, having been united because of America.
Enter Khaleda Begum, Nahiyan’s mother, and Aslam Kabir, Nahiyan’s father. The Kabir family moved from Bangladesh to America when Nahiyan was in third grade. Unlike earlier immigrants who were eager to change their unsatisfactory lives, the family chose to move to America because of Bangladesh’s lacking economy. There was minimal to no growth taking place at the time, although the Asian Foundation does remark that changes began during the 1990s. With Bangladesh under democratic rule again, and economic reforms put into place, it was on the way to slow, but sure changes to the poverty level (Al-Muti). However, this change did very little to positively affect the Kabirs’ lives. Statistics report that the economic growth rate reached 6% in 2004, and peaked at just 7% (Al-Muti). That’s when they made their life changing decision: it was time to move to America.
a map of Bangladesh
Of course, the economy wasn’t the Kabirs’ main concern. The move to a different country was made for Nahiyan’s sake. His parents were certain that this would be a good investment into his future because what they valued about America was its education. Nahiyan explained how his parents believed getting “a degree from America has a much greater value in today’s society than a degree from Bangladesh.” Taking a look at the numerous immigrants who currently reside in America, it’s simple to prove the belief to be true, though unfortunately so. Many are professors, engineers, or have a career in a high position back in their home country, but in America, their degrees matter very little, or if at all. It’s difficult to renew their career in a foreign country, and this results in working menial jobs, far below their skill level. This is why the family’s focus was to give Nahiyan an even better life; they strived to give him the best that he could get. His grandparents, however, were against this decision. They felt as if they already had everything they would ever need in Bangladesh, so there was no reason to go to America. Despite the opposition, Khaleda was set upon moving. Nahiyan recalls that it was honestly “purely [his] mom’s decision” to go to America. This decision may have been influenced by her family members already living in America.
The sense of displacement develops in trying to adjust to a new life in a foreign country. However, the Kabir family fit in quite comfortably. Moving to America wasn’t as frightening as it was for most others because they had relatives who had been living in New York for a while now. They had support from Nahiyan’s uncle who has been in America for over 35 years, as well as his maternal grandmother. Despite having family so close by and eager to offer their assistance, life was very different from their old life in Bangladesh.
Nahiyan’s life in Bangladesh meant a 26 room mansion, with maids, cooks, security guards, and personal drivers. He goes back almost every summer to visit his grandparents, and when he goes back, he can’t help but indulge in the lavish life he knows he will soon find himself missing. Nahiyan is still close with his friends in Bangladesh; he meets up with them whenever he can. The family isn’t treated any differently when going back to Bangladesh; it’s like they never left. People stop by to say hi before they continue on. It’s nothing special, unlike what may occur with other families from other cultures who only see each other after a gap of several years. It’s these almost annual visits to his grandparents that have him appreciate his parents even more, for giving up so much for him. Living in America is a different story, since everyone has to do “odd jobs” as Nahiyan calls them, which his father is not a fan of. Back in Bangladesh, Aslam was a professor, the CEO of a company, and owned a private school. America pales in stark comparison, of course, because moving meant having to give up everything the family once had. And they did seemingly have everything anyone ever wished for. In America, their life was reduced to a limited budget, a smaller house, and not having help around the house like they used to. They now live in a middle class neighborhood with a few fellow Bengalis, but it’s in the area around many of their family members.
Seeing how life was for Nahiyan as a young child, it was initially difficult for him to like America. He used to yearn for his affluent life back in Bangladesh, and all of his friends. As time passed, however, he began assimilating to New York, and was able to enjoy his new home even, no matter how tough it was. It was difficult to feel like the family belonged in their new community. It was even more painful to watch his parents swallow their pride and ego, and work so much harder than they had to.
“I was watching my mom cook and clean and do laundry all by herself one summer day… and it made me feel very… ‘guilty’ seeing her work so hard. She would never have to do any chores around the house when we lived in Bangladesh twelve years ago.”
America changes people. This change can be due to good or bad influences, mild or extreme conditions. In Nahiyan’s case, he has spent enough time away in America that he doesn’t feel as attached to Bangladesh as he used to. At the same time, while America has certainly grown on him, he isn’t sure that this is where he wants to stay. As per his parent’s wishes, he will earn a degree from an American college as was their intent from the beginning. While Nahiyan doesn’t plan on staying in America, he doesn’t plan on moving back to Bangladesh either. After spending so many years away, it feels as if he won’t be able to “adjust to life in Bangladesh anymore.” Instead, after taking a while to think about it, he admits that he “might leave America to go to London because [he has] family there as well.”
London seems like a great place to live!
There’s also the immense pressure Nahiyan feels every day. Because of all his family gave up for him, he knows he has to do well at school to make up for their effort. As if responsible for his family’s current situation, he takes it upon himself to prove to his parents that he could deliver good results from school. It’s a constant burden that is always with him, but he tries to hide it; he doesn’t want his family to worry about him any more than they already do. Nevertheless, it’s every member of the family that helps keep each other together. With support and encouragement, they have adjusted to their new life together. Some things, however, don’t change, no matter where they are located, such as celebrations. The Kabirs are a traditional family, and they celebrate Muslim holidays like Eid, together with family and cousins. However, Nahiyan no longer finds Eid to be a particularly exciting holiday. It has lost its charms throughout the years, and actually feels mundane to some point. The beginning of the day is spent going to prayer with hundreds of others. The usual routine consists of going home afterwards, eating, and exchanging gifts. But because of classes, Nahiyan has to attend class after prayer. Partly because of this factor, he feels as if he has lost the opportunity to really enjoy the day, since he cannot spend the day with his family as he would like to.
celebrating Eid in New York City
Families stay strong together, as evidenced by how they survive the turmoil that falls upon them when faced with trying to adapt to a new culture and country. It’s scary, entering a country and not knowing what to expect, but it’s easier to feel brave when not alone. Members of the family provide that support for one another. Everyone is afraid, but continues on for each other’s sake. Immigration is a difficult change, but brings family members closer to each other. Nahiyan appreciates his parents all the more for making the decision to immigrate to ensure a good future for him. Although moving created a more challenging life for him, he never complained, but strived to be who his parents wanted him to be. Many immigrants moved from poverty and found conditions to be quite decent in America, but Nahiyan harbored a rather opposite feeling towards America. It shows the diversity among immigrants, from the disparity of people arriving in New York City, to their reasons and goals for arriving. For better or worse, the trip to a new world will take part in changing and transforming any arrivers. While an immigrant may never feel completely comfortable in their new home, as Nahiyan comments that “it gets easier.”
Work Cited:
Al-Muti, Syed A. “Bangladesh’s Development Surprise: A Model for Developing Countries.” The Asian Foundation. 25 Jun. 2014. Web. 30 Mar. 2016.
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