QuadLingual Family
“Qu’est que tu veut manger maintenant?”
“Oh, Oh, Oh! I know, I know! How about… Ravioli?”
“ 또? 딴 건 뭐 없나? 그저께도 그거 먹었는데.”
“You should never complain in front of food! Do you know how many kids….”
“Okay, okay. Je comprend, mammon. Je suis desole. ”
“Wait, auntie. How do you say I will eat well in Japanese again?”
“ 음, いただきます.”
“That sounds funny, 이타다키마스?”
“Okay, let’s have a dinner! Who wants to say grace in Korean?”
Who is saying what? We normally don’t know while we are talking. Usually it is extremely challenging when four different languages are being exchanged in front of you. However, this is not a conversation taken place at JFK international airport or at some huge international convention. This is a typical conversation at my cousin’s house. One special thing about my family is that we ask questions to each other in four languages over our dinner table. Normally, we also respond to those questions in different languages.
My cousin has a husband and two adorable girls who are 7 and 5 years old respectively. Most of the times, our conversation is in English. All the grown-ups in our family can speak English and Korean interchangeably. My cousin-in-law and I additionally speak French. Our conversation is often in Korean, but the girls are not fluent yet. So English is our first language for communicating. As I started learning Japanese and my niece picked up French as her second language at school, our conversation at the dinner table became more diverse and interesting both in a good way. Japanese and French children’s songs are now added to my nieces’ new soundtracks.
Despite the confused look that guests who are invited to our exciting “learn a new language” at the dinner table for the first time, our communication is processed without flaws. This complicated infrastructure allow us to be more open toward different cultures. Often we ask each other about the words or cultural customs that we do not know about a particular culture. For instance, since I am the only person who knows how to speak Japanese, I teach the girls how to say basic things along with culture that I already learned from my Japanese class.
Also, the subjects we talk about usually affect the languages. There are certain topics that we can be more expressive in a particular language. When we are talking about our beloved family, we tend to use Korean to describe our affection toward them. I can express the intimacy better with other people by using Korean adjectives. It feels more spontaneous that way. In contrast, when I talk about my lives in New York City, I obviously speak in English because it is more convenient to find the exact words that match with my emotions and thoughts as the New Yorker.
One of the major reasons why I cannot wait till I can meet my cousin’s family all the times is that I enjoy the positive feedback that we show each other. We encourage each other to talk and express him or herself in a diverse way. Often I mistakenly pronounce or phrase something wrong. No one picks on me for not saying in the perfect grammar or accent. As a family, we tend to treat each other with respect and encouragement. In this positive and supportive learning environment, I can practice different languages without being afraid of mistakes. Language is culture and culture is language. My family speaks four different languages and speaks of four different cultures. This is also our family culture.
