There’s something about salad mix that’s inherently off-putting. Maybe the leaves that just don’t make the cut for the actual bags or boxes of fresh lettuce end up in those shiny plastic bags, maybe the plastic itself is the problem, but something is definitely happening.
Being that I am just a college student in a dorm room devoid of most of the common household items, such as a large bowl, salad spinner, and toaster (although my lack of a toaster may soon be a problem of the past), I would say I am worst customer for bag salads. You would think I would be part of the targeted audience, with college students both being very busy and very lazy. One buys a bag salad because they are too lazy to buy greens and dressing separately, which is not a very hard thing to do. So, being part of the laziest demographic, wouldn’t bag salad be for me? Unfortunately, that answer is no for one reason, the secret rule of bag salad and salad itself.
I remember one of the most commonly repeated lessons from my mother whenever I would help with cooking dinner, “the way to make delicious salad is with a big bowl.” Never did I understand the need for a big bowl then when I tried to assemble a bag salad. The entropy of the universe is less random and messy then an attempt at mixing up a salad mix in a normal bowl.
First, I spill the lettuce into the one smallish bowl I have and drop on the cheese, croutons and dressing. Life is looking up. My perfect salad is in sight. So I take a fork and a spoon, and using a pincer-like method, give the salad a little mix. The first grab is good and so is the second. Then, a slight mess up, I drag the fork a little bit too low in the bowl. Catastrophe, utter destruction. That is what erupts from what would have been a masterful salad. Tears come to my eyes as I look down at my clothes and dorm room floor, splattered with dressing and wet lettuce. Clumps of my horrible mistake fall off me as I get up from my chair, the post-bag salad depression kicking in. All of my past embarrassments appear in front of my eyes as I curl into a ball. The salad has won.
Don’t let bag salads get the better of you. Always have a large salad bowl in your house.
cheers.
