Just as the muppets on Sesame Street gave me insight during my toddler years, the only slightly weirder furry friends of Avenue Q will provide me some kind of direction as an adult. It was terrifying to see those little puppets illustrate some of my biggest fears. They sang about wanting to go back to college; I don’t want to leave it as I’m terrified of being 23 and lost, clutching my humanities degree and begging for a job as the bills pile up. I was a little dismayed by the number about everyone being a little unfulfilled but I know it’s true. I look at the adults around me and I can’t think of one who’s living their dream fully. Even the actors in the play didn’t seem totally in love with what they’re doing. Yet I think it’s important to keep in mind that though your life might not fully match what you dreamed, it doesn’t mean you’ve got a bad deal. Avenue Q doesn’t ask you to give up on your dreams; it just encourages you to see them a little more realistically. Especially in a city like New York, built on the crushed dreams of millions of hopefuls, it’s important to maintain a little perspective. It’s when you force yourself to ignore what’s around you in the blind pursuit of some amorphous goal (like Princeton’s Purpose) that you end up making real mistakes. If you root yourself on earth but keep your eyes to the stars, your success rate will probably be better than those who throw themselves into the cosmos or those who are afraid of the leap. I can’t help but wonder, though, if that pragmatism advocated by the show might have discouraged the starry-eyed dreamers that form the ranks of genius. Being grounded and practical might lead you to a more traditionally functional life but will it ever encourage you to take that wild leap into murky regions that house Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Einstein, Kierkegaard, etc? The simple answer is “no”. These were all figures who said “Bah” to traditionalism in favor of forging a new path that lead them to a higher understanding. You could definitely argue they were not the most functional individuals (their personal lives were all hectic and practicality knew no place in their narratives), yet they made contributions I’m sure your Average Joe couldn’t have, despite Joe living a healthier and happier life than they did.

I wish someone, God, my parents, or Avenue Q‘s little muppets would point me towards The Right Direction and reveal to me my Purpose in life. I wish I knew if I was fated to be ho-hum and happy or some beautifully tortured soul whose life will extend beyond death to provide a testament for the ages. If I knew this, it’d be so much easier to decide whether or not to take that leap of faith into the artsy unknown or to restrain myself and devote myself to the Cult of Practicality. Both have so many pros and cons. Despite being told again and again that it’s “never too late for now”, I’m terrified of waking up ten, fifteen, or twenty years from now either regretting my rash decisions or the fact that I didn’t make enough of them. But who knows? It’s probably better to take those risks and fail then not. That’s what’s always being hammered into us. And maybe I’ll get lucky and some monster who’s invested in porn will come and save me in the end.