“Your dad is black.”
“What? No he’s not”
“Yes he is. I saw you with him. He’s black.”
“Last time I checked, I’m not black. I’m SOUTH African, and my dad is not black.”
“oh okay… wait, so why aren’t you black?”
This was a conversation that epitomized my childhood. At a very young age, I learned the power of labels and segregation. I learned about the ignorance that surrounded racism. I learned about the need for people to place divisions on others and categorize accordingly.
It is perhaps, for this reason, that I feel repelled by immersing myself in one culture or ethnic community. I can’t say that I feel any deep connection to any of my ethnic backgrounds: South African, Russian, Austrian-Hungarian, Lithuanian and British. These are ethnic backgrounds that feel so far off to me and have had no influence on shaping the person I am. I do not speak Russian. I have never been to South Africa. I can’t even properly identify where Lithuania is on a map.
Growing up my group of friends ranged from Puerto Rican to Native American to Chinese to Indian. I tended to stay away from ethnic cliques in my High School and just roamed around with those who felt as out of the loop as I did. Yet, perhaps it is my lack of culture that has made me extremely interested in other people’s cultures. I love traveling to different countries and experiencing new things. Just the other day, I went to the Chinatown with my friend who is Chinese and tried chicken feet. This is not abnormal for me. I’ve tasted so many unique foods and have traveled to as many different countries as I possibly can. So although I don’t identify with a single culture, I feel as if there is no lack of culture in my life.
Some people may also feel a strong connection to their religion in place of their ethnicities. My family is Jewish and although I was brought up going to Hebrew School and had a bat-mitzvah, I also feel that I am detracted from my own religion and interested more in other people’s beliefs. Although at times religion can promote a lot of good in the world, I believe it can be equally as destructive and is another social construct that can keep us divided.
So once again, I felt that I did not fit in with the adamant Jews that went to my Chabad.
Where do I belong? Good question. I tend to feel that I belong with anyone who shares a similar open-mindedness to me. I like surrounding myself in a culture of people who don’t care too much about culture, if that makes any sense. I gravitate towards people from different walks of life, but also share a similar sense of acceptance of others.
A song that I believe fits my beliefs perfectly is Imagine by John Lennon. In his wise words:
“Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace ”
The song perfectly depicts how I have felt towards group divisions. If we look past the color of our skins, past the name of the “god” we pray to, past the language we speak, we are actually very similar in the end.
