I chose to interview a friend and co-worker who, like me, goes to the City College of New York (CCNY). She told me that she’d prefer if her name and faced weren’t used. Therefore, I’ll be referring to her as SJ. To get a better idea of her personality, I chose to record our interview. The interview is about how she became a New Yorker all that she’s experienced while trying to “make it” in New York.
SJ is a pre-med post-baccalaureate student at CCNY. She is an advocate of social justice and has participated in the set-up and management of non-profit organizations. She hopes to, after becoming a doctor, open a clinic in South Africa and/or India and participate in activities for improving the lives of disadvantaged individuals. She currently works as a workshop leader at CCNY.
SJ was born in Kerala, India, while her parents were on vacation, and came to the U.S. when she was 5 months old.
SJ considers “making it” in NYC to be using ones experiences, education and connections to achieve ones goals and make a difference in the world. She believes that money is an important factor in making it, but that what one does with what he or she is given is even more important. For SJ specifically, making it means success in the non-profit field, owning her own place, and potentially having a family.
SJ is at an interesting point in her life in terms of making it. She studied psychology and anthropology in her undergraduate years and studied social work and international policy for her master’s degree. She has participated in service projects, run non-profits and worked in hospitals doing clinical social work. However, all of that was not enough for her. SJ knew that she wanted to become a doctor and incorporate social justice and medicine into one.
As a result, she has had to take a few steps backward in order to move forward. She has put her social work career on temporary hold so that she can complete her post-bacc credits and head to medical school. While she thinks that for some people what she had done so far would be considered success, she sees a bigger plan for herself. Her plan is to apply to medical school within the next two years for the 2016 cycle. She had originally planned to apply for the 2014 cycle, but changed her mind. She felt as if she was rushing because she wanted to have time to go to med-school, have her career, and still have time to start a family or travel depending on where life took her. She now realizes, however, that there is no need to rush herself. She now wants to take the time to complete her post-bacc classes and ensure that she is ready for med-school. After leaving med-school and completing her clinical experience requirements, she hopes to become a member of Doctors Without Borders or a similar program. However, her plans are flexible. Another idea she has is to get a job here in the U.S. and see if she can do projects over the summer to set-up non-profits abroad. She sees settling down as possible but unlikely. SJ believes that pursuing the medical social work field is what is best for the greater good of society. For SJ, being successful in that field would be her own personal way of making it.
When asked if she ever feared not making it, she said that she was actually struggling with those fears when she decided to complete her post-bacc courses. She didn’t do as well as she might have liked in her undergraduate years and as a result was set back a bit. She was afraid that she would not get accepted into Ph.D programs. During her senior year, one of her professors suggested that if she was afraid of not being able to further her studies in psychology, she should consider social work, which she did. SJ was glad that she did the field because it was enlightening, but she felt as if she had put aside what she really cared about by not choosing medicine. Her friends and supervisors felt the same way but she was not sure at the time and feared that she would not make it.
She did not feel that she had settled with psychology, her undergrad degree. She loved psychology and planned to be a child psychiatrist or something similar. She did, however, feel that she had settled with social work. She tried to convince herself that she was meant for social work and wanted to remain in the field, but her friends could see that medicine was her true calling and told her that she could do medicine and still do social work. She finally told herself that if she did not give it all she had, she would regret it forever.
SJ doesn’t want to feel that she has a backup plan. She actually refuses to take the licensing exam for social work until after she takes her MCAT’s because she wants to use the feeling that she does not have a backup plan to keep her moving forward. She realizes however, that she does have social work as a safety net. She has doubts, such as every time she gets a failing grade on an exam, and it is in these moments that she questions herself. She thinks about how she gave up her job and apartment for this and is putting all she has into pursuing a medical degree. She likes believing that she’s meant to be a doctor, here or abroad, in spite of her doubts.
According to SJ, NYC has many opportunities and resources to assist one in make it, especially in the non-profit field. However, she thinks that NYC is not necessarily the best place for one who considers making it to involve owning a house, raising a family or obtaining a good education. To SJ, the best schools in NYC are private schools, which are fairly expensive. She says that it tends to be those who go to private schools who end up getting into Ivy League schools and later on getting all the best jobs. She thinks that it is very hard to own anything in NYC. As a result, that those who own everything are ones who have had a private school experience growing up and the benefits that such an education offers. She thinks that public schools can also offer a great education, but not in NYC. She believes that public schools in suburban areas offer a great education, but in NYC resources are limited because there are so many students for such a small amount of money. While she does not think NYC is the best place for raising a family, she still thinks NYC is filled with great opportunities such as non-profit organizations, free art classes at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and a vast number of networking possibilities. To SJ, networking is one of the best things NY has to offer.
SJ does not think she would be where she is now without her friends, family and teachers, but especially her teachers. Even from elementary school, SJ believes she was blessed with great teachers. She thanks her parents for the financial support they offered in sending her to private school, but believes that discussing future plans with her teachers were some of the most influential moments of her her development. but her teachers were able to help and inspire her. She recalls one French language teacher that she greatly admired because at 24, that teacher was already completing her masters at NYU and had participated in social justice projects. In elementary school, a nun told SJ to volunteer with her and although she did not want to at first, it got her into enjoying service and she has been volunteering since 1999. Now volunteering and social justice is a huge part of who SJ is. Her teachers were always available, always looking out for her and checking in on her. SJ’s family life was unstable. As a result, she considers her friends to be her family, but also her sister and cousins. She does not think she would be so resilient and successful without them.
SJ believes that one should be practical about their major. She would prefer if colleges regulated the price of an education, but she knows that isn’t going to happen. As a result, her advice for college students trying to make it in NYC is to be practical about their major, meaning pick one that will make them money. Studying what one loves is important, but SJ believes that one can do what they love even if it is not within the field of their chosen major. SJ herself is an example. She was offered many jobs in finance in spite of it not being her major. However, she turned them down.
SJ believes that regardless of the major, people should still try to have fun, and that networking is a part of that. To SJ, networking means connecting with people on a business level as well as a personal level. According to SJ, every job she has ever had, while she deserved them, she only got because she knew people. To SJ, the people who make it to the top are not those who deserve the job, but those who know people. While people who have made it to the top know what they are doing now, they did not know what they were doing before. SJ recalls how she became the director of non-profit at the age of 20 because she of networking. She volunteered at the non-profit as a manager and her boss needed someone to take over for former director who had gotten sick. While others would have had to interview and fight for such a position, she got it because the boss liked her work ethic and because the boss and her were friends. All of the clinical social work experiences she has had were of the type that that most students would not have gotten, but she got because of the name of Columbia and Fordham, her alma maters. According to SJ, if people see that one is a good person, then he or she can make it, but at the same time those trying to make it need what she calls the “hustler gene” and to really know people. She says that one should not be shy or sulk away. Instead, she believes that if one shows others their passion, then people will remember him or her. She also believes that people should take risks, but she doesn’t mean gambling. What she means is that “if people offer you things that you never were interested in before, don’t be afraid to try it because you never know without trying it whether or not you were meant to be in the field.” SJ is glad that she did non-profit jobs because she never thought she would want to be in that field, but now that she has tried it, she cannot imagine what she would do without that experience. At the same time, because she has worked in other fields, she knows now more than ever that she wants to do medicine. SJ suggests getting experience in jobs that one is interested in at a young age in order to help determine which field is the right choice.
So how does SJ plan to celebrate making it? Well she is not sure, but she has a few ideas. When she sees that her clinic in South Africa and/or India is successful and statistics prove that her programs are working and reducing whatever social issues she’s tackling in each area, she may just smile and hug her friends. She also thinks that she might celebrate by trying to pass the torch of social justice onto the next generation, whether it be her nieces or one of her adopted children. She thinks she would want to show others that they can change the world with enough support and resources.
While SJ is unsure how she will celebrate making it in the future, she feels that she celebrates everyday when she thinks of 3 things that made her smile. One of her undergraduate professors suggested it to her. “Think of three things that made you smile everyday before you go to sleep. Your bad days will be over, you’ll have a great night’s sleep and you’ll reduce your blood pressure.”
SJ’s final thoughts for those trying to make it in NYC are:
1: “Don’t let people discourage you, and don’t let adversity bring you down. Humans are resilient. I’ve gone through hell and a privileged, life and with that said, I think everyone should take whatever they’ve been given and always give on to others.”
2: Live life to fullest, which does not mean go skydiving everyday, but means making sure you go to sleep with no regrets. Every minute of life is precious and you never know when it will be taken away.
3: Do not let small things get you down because all different experiences create a grand scheme of things.
4: It is not what you do in life that matters, it is all the little moments. Yes you can be successful by creating non-profits, having a house and family and so on, but it is the journey getting there that is most remembered not the actual product. So if you were to define success in that sense, think back over your journey and see how many laughs there were and how many cries. That is the meaningful part.
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