The Untold Story
Walking down 23rd and Lexington, I realized that after all these years, the man I call my father is only a mere parental figure. I address him as father and yet I know nothing about his past and childhood; the 25 years before my birth are veiled in mystery. It has been 18 years since my birth, I am ready to find out more about my father, a person named Mei Lung Lam.
The world my father lived in was very different from the one of his parents. China became the People’s Republic of China after the Marxist won control of the government. Mao Zedong became a revered hero for fighting the Japanese and overthrowing a “corrupt” government. But following the revolution was a time of hardships. Poverty was rampant and the Chinese doubted whether they followed the correct path. In 1966, the Cultural Revolution was beginning and violence was rampant. Education was considered to be bourgeois and thus banned. Unfortunately, he became part of the “lost generation”. My grandfather worked in a factory and soon my dad would follow, he was the oldest of his siblings. However conditions in China grew worse with the death of Mao Zedong. The future for China was looking very grim. In 1975, the family moved to America with the help of friends and family in China. Arriving in New York, my father became known as Mei Lung Lam.
It was a start of a new chapter. My father and family traveled overseas from communism to capitalism. The family was renamed to become the Lam family. Following the Chinese tradition, my father and his brothers all became known as Mei Lam, the only difference was in their middle name. My father became known as Mei Lung Lam. The Lam Family was one of the first in the family to move overseas to a foreign land. My father was against the idea of leaving China. In China, it is required to obey your parents. However, the family was well off before the revolution. They supported Mao however, but later my grandparents realized that China was about to experience a time of hardship. My father was only about 10 years of age but he was a Chinese nationalist. However, he had to support my parents and set an example. It was the first time he ever boarded a boat.
New York was very frightening but they managed to find an apartment in Chinatown with the help of some friends. Grandfather and Grandmother Lam immediately began trying to find work. They found work in a Chinese Restaurant. As the oldest sibling of 5, my father took charge of watching his siblings. My father sometimes took advantage of his parents’ departure and began exploring Chinatown; he wandered into New York City. He stepped across the “border” where Chinese signs became American signs. Staring at an unfamiliar civilization, my father finally understood that immigrating into America didn’t mean hiding in Chinatown; it meant learning a foreign culture within the foreign lands.
A year later, Mei L. began working in a Chinese Restaurant. He had started picking up some English from the streets and from American shoppers. His goal was to take an English course to improve and learn the language. Like all immigrants, he was seeking to fulfill the American Dream. He sought to become independent and open up his own business, but first he needed to understand the language. He finally was able to take English classes with the money he earned. Each day, he was exploring further into the city and into America. His parents adamantly argued against this hobby but he continued his mini exploration trips.
Most of his paycheck went into paying bills and the rest went into his lessons. He was beginning to speak “broken” English. Most of his sentences were missing proper syntax but he was finally able to understand and communicate. Since his parents weren’t able to send the rest of the family to learn English, my father gave his siblings English lessons. His workload was strenuous, his pay was meager, and his responsibility was high and yet my father continued to work despite these hardships.
Another year or two later, Grandfather Lam opened up his own Chinese Restaurant. The whole family worked to save money to help open the store. Finally the Lam family was becoming successful. It was mostly a family owned business with the help of a few hired hands. It was a very small restaurant but it served proper and traditional Chinese food. The family was able to live relatively well and would soon move to a house in the Bronx. However, many of the siblings were beginning to leave home and raising families. My father was one of them.
Mei L Lam was improving his English and would soon test for his citizenship. After getting his citizenship and marrying, Mei ventured into business for himself. He opened up his own business: a tailoring and cleaners shop in Chinatown. Business was very slow and they lived in another cramped Chinatown apartment. Being the oldest, he wanted to set an example by separating himself from his parent. Traditional Chinese culture dictates that the family usually lives under the same roof but finally my father was becoming more American.
In 1986, Mei moved out of Chinatown and Manhattan altogether. He was trying to get closer to the American Dream. He sold the cleaners and opened up a Chinese Fast Food Restaurant in Yonkers. My father was tired of the city; he sought to distance himself from the rest of his family and Chinese culture in general. He wanted to live like an America in a typical American neighborhood. Moving to the suburbs was the most appealing to him. In his early years, he experienced much racism. Chink and other derogatory names were thrown at the Chinese. My father however, was learning to be a pacifist, understanding that violence wasn’t the answer. The grand opening of the Chinese Restaurant was a huge success. My father always rented an apartment, never having enough money to afford a house. In 1991, he finally bought a two family house in Yonkers after his third child. Departing from China was intentionally for success; the family has finally achieved the success they desired.
Leaving China and stepping in America, my father always wished to succeed. The American Dream was at first a mere dream but with determination, a dream became a reality.