Awakenings

This is not one of those stories that everyone can identify with. Not everyone has gone through this, and certainly not everyone feels like this. Yet, my guess is that, directly or indirectly, everyone is affected by it. This is when I first felt vulnerable and weak.

 You see, I actually get along with my parents. I have never felt a need to rebel against them. I value them as both parents and friends. I relate to them emotionally and can speak to them about the things that affect me. My life was on one placid, comfortable speed, inducing a sense of security within me as if life was unmoving and guaranteed. That ended with a simple, yet haunting word: cancer. Both my mother and father were diagnosed with cancer within six months of each other. I remember those exact days and the sequence of events leading up to them as if they took place yesterday. These were the two most powerful moments I have experienced in my entire life. The realization that the two most valuable people in my own life were at risk was, at some times, almost too much to handle. In those two separate, different moments, I realized that the security I had always felt was shattered. Life was revealed to me as a delicate vapor in the wind. I had never seen it like that. I was awakened to the fact that the guarantee of good health and a long life were gone.

Today, my parents are alive and healthy, but our lives have changed. The pettiness of rebellion and momentary emotional urges are gone, replaced with an appreciation for being alive. There is no room for being selfish or resentful. The reality of true illness affecting those who are closest to you is crushing. In that moment, when you realize that the only security in your life can be taken away by one word, you change the way you think about your parents. You change the way you think of your own life.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 20th, 2007 at 11:03 am and is filed under