Samuel G. Freedman: The Man Behind the Guilt
How do we come to write a biography about someone who’s deceased and won’t show up on a Google search?
Our defiant teenage years are filled with neglect; similar to teachers, we cannot imagine our parents outside of their normal environments, nor do we take interests in it. Spending years after years trying to disregard them, we look to college as a getaway. It is not until much later, when we have settled down with our own family that many seek to reconcile with their parents. For Samuel G. Freedman, an award-winning author, professor, and journalist, this was not possible, for his mother had passed away when he was only nineteen.
For many years, twenty-six to be exact, Freedman evaded his mother’s death and was able to suppress the guilt of not knowing his mother. Ironically, it is that which would come to drive him to write “Who She Was”, his search for her life story. In 2000 he visited her grave for the first time since the funeral and realized he could not recollect her face without having to look at a picture and that he had but one memory of her, and the guilt became overwhelming. In 2001, he set out to “make her come alive”, knowing only two of her close friends.
Before the discussion with Freedman began, time was taken off to carefully compose questions that avoided the word “guilt” at all cost. We did not want to offend the author because it was such a sensitive subject, however, our carefully constructed questions gave little insight to the book. Freedman, knowing that we have read the book, felt more at ease and began to open up.
When asked why he wrote the book on his mother rather than just finding it out for himself, he simply stated, “Ordinary lives can be quite extraordinary.” His mother’s story is relatable by immigrants, but more than just that, he had no targeted audience; “When you write a book, you have to write the book you want to write, and you’re writing it totally for yourself.”
Having written this book to feel like her son again, it was closure for him rather than just a plain biography. Over the years, he’s found it easier and easier to talk about this burden (the guilt) he carries. His family says he’s too hard on himself, but that did not often show up in his story. He admits that he could not prevent emotion from entering the narrative, but it’s “how you take the emotion and prevent it from taking over”.
“I feel like I know her as closely as I’m ever going to get know her.” Not everyone is going to like his book, some might even find it boring. Whatever it is, we can all agree that his skill of researching is amazing.