Milan Mathew
Prof. Siegel
Immigration Narrative
03/01/16
Immigration Narrative
Back in the small state of Kerala there was a hard-working woman named Aleyamma Chacko who was the oldest of twelve siblings. She was the only one sibling who had the will power to persevere and do well in school. One day her mom’s step-brother came to her house and told her that since she was doing well in school he would take her to Jaipur, another state in India, to pursue a nursing degree. In the the late 60’s and 70’s a lot of young Indian women were pursuing a nursing degree, because it was a job that allowed them to go abroad to countries like America, England, New Zealand, Ireland etc. Aleyamma went to Jaipur and completed her nursing degree and by that time there was a marriage proposal waiting for her back home. It was a young man who she had been family friends with for a long time, Mathew Thomas. He came back from the Indian military for vacation. On November 5th, 1970 Aleyamma Chacko became Mathew Thomas’ lawfully wedded wife. A year later, Mathew Thomas was stationed in Baroda, Gujurat and he and his newly wedded wife moved there to the military headquarters. A year later, Aleyamma was expecting her first born and soon after she was a mother to two beautiful baby boys. Aleyamma thought her life would always be in India and she wouldn’t be able to broaden her horizons. In 1977 her uncle, the uncle who had sent her to nursing school, had moved to America and filed for her visa to come to America. On April 14th, 1978 Aleyamma Mathews embarked on her journey to America. Though she was saddened to leaved her mother land and to go to a country where she was not familiar with the language or culture, Aleyamma knew this was the best decision she could make for the future of her family. Aleyamma left her husband and kids in the hopes that in a few months she would have all the tools to file for the rest of her family. Two weeks after being in America, Aleyamma landed her first job in a nursing home in New Jersey. She worked endlessly with one goal in her mind, to be finally reunited with her family. After working in a nursing home for a year and a half Aleyamma was able to bring her family to America and become reunited again. In 1979, Aleyamma and her newly migrated family moved to Manhattan and lived in a one bedroom apartment on Thayer Street. Soon after with the help of Aleyamma’s uncles, Mathew Thomas was able to get a job in the Transit Authority of New York. From that point onwards Aleyamma worked hard to make sure her two sons got really good education, and worked day and night to provide for family along side her husband. As things started to stabilize, Aleyamma decided to move her family to Long Island, where a lot of South Indians were living at that time. In 1986, the Mathews moved to Westbury to their first ever home.
Aleyamma made sure her children were raised in Christian Indian household. Aleyamma made sure her sons knew how to speak the mother tongue, Malayalam, and was well versed in Indian culture. Aleyamma and her husband made it a point to make sure her children were taken to Indian once a year to never forget their roots and who they were.
Aleyamma is my dad’s mother, also known as my grandmother, and also known as one of my best friends. If it wasn’t for the determination my grandmother, I, Milan Liz Mathew, wouldn’t be here in this country today. Though my grandmother isn’t given a lot of recognition for providing a future for my family, Since my grandma instilled cultural values into my father, he transferred those same values into me. Even though my friends make fun of me for being a “FOB” or a “fresh off the boat”, I always see it as being culturally well versed. I enjoy going to India every year, watching Indian movies, and being able to converse with my grandparents in Malayalam.
Since I have been raised to be culturally sensitive, I have been able to appreciate the beauty of other cultures. My mother coming straight to America after marriage has had a big impact on the person I am today. My father, who was brought up in America since he was 7 went back to India when he was 24 to get married in a traditional Indian arranged marriage. Soon after the marriage my mother was expecting me, so she stayed back in India and we both came to America when I was three months old. In this day and age, it is very uncommon for young grooms to go back to India to find a bride, yet alone commit to an arranged marriage. Since my mother was born and brought up in India and was only exposed to American culture after marriage, that has had a big impact on the way I was raised. My dad being a bit more modern and understanding to the fads allowed me to do things my mother was not comfortable with because of her background. For me this worked in my favor as well, I had a modern dad who allowed me to lead a normal life in an immigrant Indian, while I had an Indian mother who kept me in check with my Indian heritage and reminded me of the expectations that were put on me. Today I am a person who puts culture first, before every decision I make I rethink and to see if culturally this was the right thing to do. Would my parents be upset about it? Is this what they did back in India? What would mom do? In my eighteen years of life I have dated a total of two guys. When I decide to go into a relationship there are two criterions the boy has to fulfill, they have to be able to understand Malayalam and be willing to visit India with me every year, if it becomes a long term relationship. As you can see, culture plays a big role in my dating life as well. I would need a guy who is able to appreciate the Indian culture like I do, and come from a culturally sound childhood like mine.
Without the persistence and determination of my grandmother, my family would not be economically and socially sound like we are today. It was through her big decision to move to this big country and give her a family a better life that I am able to sit in an American college pursuing my dream to become a doctor.