Tina Chen, also known as Xing Yin, came to America in hopes of a better opportunity since China didn’t offer many opportunities for girls. Some obstacles she faced during her immigrating experience was trying to understand American English. Although she didn’t have an excessive amount of Chinese culture engrained in her while growing up, she kept what she did know while assimilating to the American culture.

Struggles of a Chinese Girl

My family contained my mother, my father, and my younger brother. Honestly, growing up, I wasn’t that close to my parents. My parents had desperately wanted a son as their first and only child so having a daughter was very difficult for them.

My parents really loved my brother and [they] wanted to make sure that they could save all their life earnings so he can go to the best educational institutions that money could afford. I on the other hand, had to go to whatever cheap options that they could afford. Being a female, [my parents] didn’t think that I had much to offer them.

Tina’s Childhood

My childhood was different than most of the girls around me. When other students were outside with their families, I was indoors or at the libraries. Most of the girls I knew had limited schooling and they spent majority of their time learning how to be good homemakers, but, I wanted to prove to my parents that they shouldn’t regret having a daughter. I worked really hard in school and excelled in the math and the science subjects. I got high marks and I confirmed my admission to the best universities so I can study computer science and build a life for myself outside of China.

My favorite memory was when I was celebrating Chinese New Year when I was really young. My parents were usually busy and didn’t have time for birthdays, anniversaries, and other occasions, but Chinese New Year was the one holiday that we always celebrated together. This particular year, my mother and father took my brother and I to a family friend’s home out in the countryside. It was a friend of our father’s family that we hadn’t seen in a while. He had a few younger children we befriended right away. We had a great time playing with one another. We prepared delicious food and we did the traditional Chinese New Year activities. Other Chinese New Years were just as important, but this was especially memorable just because we spent it with other people instead of alone in our apartment.

Why’d I Leave?

I was sick of all the changes that were happening in China like the revolution. I knew that being a female in this time period would limit my opportunities. I was an intelligent, hard-working woman and I really wanted to prove my worth somewhere where I can be the best version of myself as possible.

I decided to apply for some job opportunities in computer companies that were based in the United States. I knew this was the best shot I ever had for me to get out of China and creating a future for myself. My plan was to first go to the United States, have my career, make some income, and bring my family to the United States.

Expectations vs Reality

I expected life to be simple in the United States, especially New York City. I thought jobs would be lined up in every street corner and finding simple things like housing would be a piece of cake. I was about to find out that that was definitely not the case and that I would have to work harder than I ever did in China to make the lifestyle that I wanted to have so desperately.

Assimilating to American Culture

It was easy for me to be so comfortable living in China, but here my comfort was definitely tested. I didn’t know the language as well as other people and I didn’t know simple things like where to find groceries, where to get a book, where to borrow money from.

I was lucky because unlike some other people, I did get to learn English in school, but the English that the Americans spoke was different. They were speaking very quickly and it was difficult for me to understand what they were saying initially.

Living in Flushing

There were a lot of people of Chinese descent so it was a little easier for me to transition to living in the United States. There were lots of people who had already gone through the process of assimilation and they offered me advice. It was easier for me to interact with people who spoke the same language. The stores were owned and operated by Chinese people and the services in the area were tailored to Chinese immigrants. It’s similar to how Flushing is today, except now it is a little bit more gentrified today.

The ethnic community gave me more confidence by letting me have a healthy balance of my own culture and American culture. I was more comfortable speaking in my native tongue so it was good to be around people who knew my language. Also after a long day of work with people who only spoke English, it was a relief to relax with people that grew up in the place I grew up. It was easy to get accustomed to American culture because I could use the experiences of the other people to help me find solutions to issues I face.

Losing Some Chinese Culture

I knew having my native Chinese name would cause unwanted attention in the workplace and it would make it difficult for people, like my colleagues, to allow me to be a part of their class and their community. I wanted to fit in with my American peers. I thought by changing my name to something that sounded a little more American would not only be easier for my colleagues to pronounce, but also for them to accept me as someone just like them in the workplace.

My family did not put too much emphasis on our culture. It was something that my brother and I learned through trial and error and what we learned in school. The only cultural thing that we really celebrated was Chinese New Year and practice of not questioning our elders or authority. Other than that, I don’t have any Chinese roots to trace back to because I abandoned it when I came here. To be honest, sometimes I regret not being as cultured as my other Chinese peers, who have had Chinese culture engrained in them from a younger age.

I haven’t really gone out of my way to pass down Chinese traditions to my kids, but they have seen me practice my own beliefs and have adopted some of them for their own. For example, respect for elders is very important to me. I see in their own interactions with elders how they have adopted this into their own beliefs in the way they respect my parents and my husband’s parents. I also know my kids have learned to value education. They work hard in their classes and extracurricular activities. I would like them to pass down the culture, but I don’t expect them to. It’s the natural order of life that some of our culture is lost in order for new aspects to be gained with every passing generation. I hope that the values of Chinese culture remain with my kids, but I hope that they take the negative parts about it and amend it with their positive morals and values.