Both of my parents are immigrants. But contrary to the typical “rags to riches” story that many immigrants have, my parents made their stories sound plain and simple. We overcame this obstacle, but it doesn’t really mean anything. We got this job, we got that job. We raised a family. Although my parents made their lives sound simple, I found their stories more meaningful when connecting them to how I was raised.
On my mom’s side, my aunt was the first to immigrate to America, followed by my grandparents, then my mother. My grandparents didn’t have jobs in Hong Kong, and it wasn’t any different when they came to America. Since my mom and her siblings were relatively old when they arrived – my mom was 25 and my aunt was 29, they were the ones who found jobs when they came. My mom did office work in a jewelry office for four years until she passed the U.S. Postal Exam, and began working as a clerk in the general post office in Manhattan in 1993. She has worked in the post office for 23 years in three different stations.
The story of my paternal side is quite different. My paternal grandparents immigrated from China, where they were farmers. My great-grandfather was the first to come to America around the late 1960s. He came with my grandfather, who was a teenager at the time. My grandfather spent a few years in America, then moved back to China to get married, before coming back to America for good. For his whole life until retirement, he worked as a cook in a restaurant.
A few years after my grandfather came (and stayed) in America, my dad and grandmother arrived. My grandmother was a seamstress, while my dad went to school since he was only a teenager at the time. He had to learn English beginning in seventh grade, but that was the only obstacle he mentioned. He also said that with a lot of disdain, and admitted that if he had a choice back then, he would have stayed in China. My dad doesn’t like it in America at all, and even wants to move back to China after he retires.
After finishing high school, my dad immediately began working in 1984. His first job was at a takeout restaurant in New Jersey. He answered phone calls, took orders, and packed orders for delivery. His next position was as a shoe salesman in Chinatown. Later on, he passed the U.S. Postal Exam, and began working in post offices in 1989. My dad has worked in three different offices, now with 27 years of experience in the post office.
My family’s educational background hasn’t affected my goals, education, or expectations of work at all, since the most I knew about my parents’ educational background growing up was that they finished high school, and I’m a first-generation student. In society today, it’s expected that people go to college for their educational background, since going to college is seen as the door that leads to getting a job. My goals have nothing to do with my parents either; I want to become a sports journalist because of my interests and passions. Lastly, I’ve always believed my work ethic stems from who I am as an individual. Learning more about my parents through this assignment hasn’t changed my opinion on if my parents have affected any of these things about myself, since their lives don’t really relate to me at all.
I’ve always felt disconnected to my family. We’re not a close-knit family; every little thing has always been kept a secret. Three weeks ago, when I was at ER DOX after getting a chicken bone stuck in my throat, I had to call my dad to ask him what his birth year is, because I needed to know that for emergency contact information. This might sound silly, but my parents don’t share any information with me at all, not even their ages or birth years. They get extremely defensive even when I ask the smallest thing, like what their favorite food is. Even in terms of what my parents know about my sister and I, it’s pretty minimal. My parents never seem to remember our ages whenever we’re at the doctor’s office.
After interviewing my parents for this assignment, I realized how privileged I am because of all their sacrifices. I don’t look up to my parents; they might even be people I never want to become, just based on how I was raised. However, my parents spent at least half their lives building up their income to achieve economic stability and to ensure that my sister and I wouldn’t have to endure the same hardships. My sister and I aren’t pressured to get “higher-end” jobs, like doctors or lawyers. I’m grateful for the fact that I’m able to pursue my dream of becoming a sports journalist without being judged by my parents, and just for being able to pursue this dream at all because of how my parents were able to achieve our middle-class status.
I knew close to nothing about my roots coming into this assignment. Of course, in history classes, I’ve heard about all the sacrifices immigrant families had to make, but I didn’t know my family’s own story. I always pictured my parents having a tacky “rags to riches” story, but whenever I asked, they would get defensive and ask why I want to know. Basically the same reaction as whenever I ask about their ages. Even for this assignment, they didn’t share specific stories about their lives; my dad elaborated a bit on his answers, but my mom simply answered my questions and had nothing more to say. I know that there’s probably much more to their lives than the cliche “I came to America, raised a family, and now work in a post office,” but there must be a good reason why they’re not disclosing a lot of information. Though I never exactly got the love and support I wanted so much from my parents, learning more about their path to America despite the few details, has made me appreciate them more.
