Gjelina translates to “young bride” in Albanian. Ironic considering I am one of the very few in my family to avoid being exactly that. My maternal grandmother, my nona, was born in Lugjej, Dibër, Albania. My maternal grandfather was born in Palaman, Dibër, Albania. My nona was engaged to my grandfather at the age of 11 and was subsequently married at the age of 18. They both had dropped out of school after the 7th grade. I am not sure it could have even been considered dropping out, since that was the standard for students at the time. Some of my friends’ grandparents ended their schooling after the 4th grade. Some never went. My nona had six children. My grandfather was a farmer, who was given very little opportunity to work outside of the home. My mother and her siblings were raised grazing cows and tending to the fruit and vegetable gardens. My mother was the oldest and the first to go to college. Two of her siblings quit after the 8th grade because they needed to work in order to support their family. One of my aunts, who is now 31 years old, still works at the same shoe factory she worked for when she quit school at age 14.  My youngest aunt was the second, and the last, to go to college after my mother. My mother finished her schooling at the University of Tirana, where she graduated with a degree in early childhood education. Soon after graduating, she was employed at a local school near the village where she grew up. Her name is Fitore, which means “victorious” in Albanian. Definitely not as ironic as my name.

My paternal grandmother, my moma—a bastardization of the word nona that only my family uses—, was born in Blliqe, Dibër, Albania. My paternal grandfather was born in Kastriot, Dibër, Albania. My moma had nine children. Both sets of grandparents lived similar agricultural lifestyles. My father, the oldest, was the only one of the nine children to go to college. He studied acting at the Academy of Arts in Tirana, Albania. As a result of the underdeveloped arts scene in Albania, my father pursued journalism after a short-lived career as a theater actor. Although he also spent many years outside of Albania, in either Italy or Greece, where he spent his time either working construction or picking olives for better wages, he eventually returned to Albania and wrote for Gazeta Rilindja Demokratike, the Democratic Party’s leading newspaper in Albania. He married my mother in 1996 and I was born a year later, in Tirana, Albania on February 7th, 1997. In 2000, my father requested political asylum from the United States after traveling to New York for an event for Albanian journalists. In 2001, I moved to Brooklyn with my mother and brother after my father was able to send us the proper documentation. My father’s name is Ramiz, which means “learned; dignified” in Arabic. Pretty accurate.

Kastriot, Dibër, Albania     

It seems I have taken after my father more so than my mother. I attended Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School, where I majored in drama, and then decided to attend Brooklyn College, where I have recently declared a double major in Political Science and English. I think my desire to pursue both disciplines stems from a want to understand the world around me to the best of my ability. The fact that a country so important to me was so little known by everyone I knew at school made me question how many countries I knew so little about. I’ve always thought it unfair to ask for others to respect my country and appreciate its value when I couldn’t do the same for theirs. That is why Political Science became my major.

Both of my parents needed to move to a different city, about five hours from home by car, in order to go to college. They needed to dorm because there were no colleges in their town at the time, so they needed to move to the capital. In contrast, I decided to stay in Brooklyn for financial reasons. I am sure that if my parents had had the same opportunity then, they would have also chosen to stay with their families. Living at home has allowed me to get a part-time job, avoid paying for food, clothes, utilities, rent, etc. Choosing Macaulay has also let me live tuition-free. The way my parents were raised ensured that they taught me the value of being frugal.

My family’s background is incredibly different from the reality I face today. Although I identify very, very strongly with my Albanian heritage, which is very different from that of American culture, I am rarely discriminated against. Because I am identified as a heterosexual, white American, my roots don’t quite matter. I am not at a disadvantage because I do not look like my ancestry: poor, Muslim, uneducated and unemployed. My parents’ struggles are shrouded by an American passport. I may not have beneficial familial connections like other natural-born Americans might, but I have been given every available opportunity to receive a proper education and pursue my desires. Although my background doesn’t negatively affect the way the world sees me, it does affect the way that I see the world. My family has taught me many of my values in the same way living in New York has. I feel very fortunate to have had exposure to two amazing cultures.