Sep 11 2012
She’s like buttah.
I don’t think I can play this record anymore… Whoops.
My love affair with Barbra Joan Streisand began a few years ago, and I’m proud to report that we’re still going strong.
(Pause. Laughter from the audience.)I only felt that I would strive to become an actor about a year before meeting Barbra, and I was still very hesitant about it all.
“I’m not good enough.”
“I don’t have enough talent.”
“I can’t dance. At all.”
“I can’t sing.”
“A tree can act better than me.”
It was the worst of times. It was the worst of times. Funny enough, I still have those same thoughts. But, luckily, they’re not as debilitating, and it’s all because of her.
My aunt’s friend is some kind of hoarder, and he has millions of old records and brik-a-brak, and he gave this to me as a Christmas present because he knew I was obsessed with Barbra. The timing couldn’t be more perfect.
I was in the middle of rehearsals for our annual drama show: Waiting For Lefty. Everything was amazing, but then disaster struck….
I couldn’t figure out my character.
He was so complex, so different, and I was lost. I couldn’t understand who this character was, or how I was supposed to become him. My drama teacher was getting visibly irritated by my follies, and I boxed myself into this mindset where I thought I’d never crack this character. It was the end of the road for me. I simply wasn’t good enough for this. Never would be.
I had come close to giving up on my Broadway dreams before, but this time I was ready to give up for good. I’d go back to “wanting to be a lawyer, or whatever.” I stopped listen to music altogether, because most of what I listened too was show tunes, or Liza, or Barbra. Then this record came into my life, and I was tempted to listen to it as some sort of dramatic farewell. But, like Cher’s Farewell Tour(s), by the time I finished listening to it, I knew I couldn’t give up. Here was this young, ambitious, loud-mouthed Brooklynite who was told over and over again that she’d never make it. She was too quirky, too ugly, or didn’t have enough talent to make it. And so, we arrive at the cliché part of the story.
I knew if Barbra could make it, then I couldn’t let her down. I put the record on my desk and made it a habit to listen to it whenever I felt like I wasn’t good enough. So when I’m out there on Broadway… waiting tables to pay the bills because I don’t have any auditions, it’ll all be because of Barbra. And I’m fine with that.
Brian, I love your tone in the story. It’s like your telling it to the audience/reader and also to yourself simultaneously, if that makes sense . Were these just your initial thoughts on the subject? It feels like a really well-constructed stream of consciousness. Also, I really wanted to comment on this because your ending rang similar to mine– a feeling of acceptance and confidence for whatever will happen. Let me know what you think.
Honestly, I think I was running on two hours of sleep and I was only rambling, so yeah, I’ll say it was a stream of consciousness because that sounds so much more professional. I feel like accepting that literally anything can happen – even the bad – is one of the more necessary steps in advancing through life. I mean, if you deny yourself the acceptance that you’re not going to jump right to the top of your dreams and ambitions, then it’s really going to hurt when you metaphorically fall into that pit of woe.
Brian, your story was a performance. Everyone else’s presentations were also good but I laughed at almost every joke and gibe that yours had to offer. I agree with Tom; your tone is brilliant. As is the spelling of, “buttah,” in your title. Good job!
Can I thank you for laughing? I’m going to do it anyway. THANK YOU. (By the way, I got the “buttah” thing from this old skit on SNL called Coffee Talk where Mike Myers dressed up as this middle-aged Jewish woman who was obsessed with Barbra. Check it out, it’s genius.)
Haha, yes I shall do that right away. If I could “like” your reply, I would.
Brian, you’re story was executed wonderfully. Although it may have been the worst time of your life, you still tried to put a little comedy in the story. I thought it was very bold of you to write on your vinyl record. Music has definitely been an important part of my life. Whenever I feel a certain emotion, music helps because I can relate to the songs. I just turn on my iPod and ignore the rest of the world.
People really need to appreciate the power of music more, no? It’s one of those things a lot of us pretty much need in order to get through the day, which is why I tend to obsess over it like I do. I wouldn’t call writing on the record itself as bold because I’m an iPod kid and I’ve barely used an actual record player, but I get what you mean. Thanks for noticing my “humor,” I just want to make people laugh at me, really.
Brian,
I can tell that you are a natural performer. You have such confidence and personality when you speak and I can even see it in your writing. I love that I can see a bit of your humor, especially when you say, “But, like Cher’s Farewell Tour(s), by the time I finished listening to it, I knew I couldn’t give up.” I love that line so much, I kept thinking about it the rest of the day and kept laughing. What I also like about your presentation is that you show your determination. Even though you might have thought about quitting you knew you would be able to make it because of your passion and determination. And that’s all that matters in the long run, isn’t it?
Yes, knowing that Cher is working on another album and another tour is all that matters in the long run… Oh god, that’s not what you’re talking about. Erm, anyway. It’s funny that you said that I’m a “natural performer” because I honestly never considered anything of the performing vocation about halfway through high school. That’s probably what makes me feel so passionate about it, because it’s this one thing that I finally feel makes me belong somewhere in the world, which is something everyone needs to find in order to really be happy. Find that one thing and everything else just falls into place!