Trying to about face and reflect on myself is a hard thing to do. I can’t pinpoint the type of person I am, but I can determine the type of person that I want to be.
Ever since the 6th grade when I missed the chance to take the test for Hunter, I’ve always tried to make myself better in anything I did. I thought I was smart enough in the 6th grade and that good was good enough. But I watched as my friends got to take the test and I never got that chance. A newspaper clipping that my parents had showed me came to mind, “When being good isn’t enough.”
Not getting that opportunity really tore me apart. It all came down and it hit me that I hadn’t tried hard enough, that I never gave my best and I suffered because of it. What was worse was that I was my fault, no one else to blame but me for being lazy and overconfident. But I decided after not receiving the test date letter that something like this would never happen again. I started trying and I knew that from then on, good would never be good enough.
Through middle school I earned the grades I needed, and my chance at redemption was the Specialized High School test. Coming from an Asian family, normally this pressure comes from parents, but this time it was my pressure. I wanted it and I worked hard to get it. When the results came, I made Stuyvesant by a slim margin. I felt as if I had finally lived up to what I wanted to do. I was going to one of the best high schools in the city and got there by trying my best.
With that same mentality in high school, I moved on to succeeding in whatever I tried in, whether it was school, friends or baseball. I worked to be better then good as a scholar, friend and person. I tried hard in school, but at the same time never got to a point of cutthroat competition, which was different, coming from Stuyvesant. I picked up friends when they were down, and tried to be a moral and honest person that people would look up to.
Today I still strive for that greatness and achievement that comes with trying my best. Am I perfect? Far from it. But I can continue to learn from experience and help others along the way, so that I can get as close to it as possible.
