There are some circumstances where I know how to sense the environment and I know how to act, or essentially the extent of how “chill” I could be. Music performances where the audience is full of avid listeners, fans, and people who how the right way to appreciate the music is definitely something I am not used to.
Thinking back now, I had a chance to experience this years ago. I used to be a clarinet player, having been required to take music classes in elementary school before I was placed in the school’s band. I even auditioned using woodwind instruments as a “talent” to possibly get me into Mark Twain Junior High School. I missed out on that opportunity and attend a school nearby instead.
In junior high school, it only became second nature to join again and so, outperforming my classmates because of my previous experience I joined the junior band and later, the senior band. During this time, I also joined a music program that actually performed at Carnegie Hall. Unfortunately, I had to quit mid-way because I had to attend test prep on Saturdays instead and missed out.
I never thought too much of it too deeply because I quit music right after junior high school. A lot of it had to do with the fact I was never passionate about it. Rather, I was forced to learn it in school, turned out to be rather good at it, and my mother continued to push it onto me. When I ask her why, she still does not know why she went out of her way to buy a clarinet for me to practice at home.
So the story with me is, I used to be good at reading scores, but now it does not come to me and I cannot be bothered to learn how to read them again. I do admire those who could and do perform though. Watching this performance opened up my eyes. I came in, extremely naive, thinking it will the typical piano recital I had in mind: quiet and a stage of dim lights. In a way, I was right, but it was much more than that.
It was evident that she was passionate, skilled, and thorough – constantly moving with purpose and with reason. Every jump, emphasis on pressing, and step she took was perfectly planned out and a way for her body to move along with her work – putting her absolutely fullest and whole focus to performing perfectly. All of this adds on and plays onto the audience. I remember listening and wondering whether the piece was supposed to be sad and slow or upbeat and happy, however, instead of focusing on that, I later learned that the whole performance, image, and even closing my eyes and imagining a scenery led me to enjoy the performance to its fullest.
Even if I did not know how to enjoy it or what I was supposed to see going in, the experience in itself made me aware of what a professional performance is like and I can now see why people come out to these types of performances.
