I rarely ever chat with homeless people, unless they explicitly approach me. To be fair to myself, I’m a little socially anxious and can barely handle making small talk with cashiers or even classmates, but I know the aversion is there, insidiously under the familiar lurch of dread that comes with conversing with any stranger. Most homeless people who approach me to ask for food (usually when I’m snacking in a public park with an obvious excess of food) make small talk with me, and they’re incredibly nice. I’ve walked away from every encounter with a smile, so I know I’m being irrational.

I used to volunteer at a food pantry, mostly handling behind-the-scenes work like unboxing and making care packages. Occasionally I’d stay at the “front desk” (a folding table with an ancient laptop with some type of database program installed) and scan people’s IDs as they line up and point them to where the food is. I didn’t make much conversation, because most people didn’t speak English and instead I had to mime to them directions for scanning their IDs (and try to communicate that the system was down so we couldn’t print a new ID this week, which I had to say pretty much every week).

Somehow my reluctance to speak to homeless people never occurred to me until my high school religion teacher pointed out how most people were physically adverse to homeless people, and the kind of emotional damage having someone cross the street to avoid you when you aren’t doing anything but sitting can do to a person. This was one of the few sensible things she ever said, and I took it to heart. She was right–most people will move a few paces away from a homeless person on the street before passing by, and I caught myself doing this a few times.  However, I’m not sure the alternative,passing by as if you don’t see them, is really any better. In fact, I’m sure it’s not. So I try to give change when I pass, and always give food if someone approaches me to ask, but at the end of the day, I can never shake the feeling that I’m not doing enough, because giving change instead of dollars is really not enough. However, guilt is a useless emotion if you never resolve to change.

Some people don’t want to give money to homeless people because they fear it will be spent on drugs or alcohol. I’ve always hated that idea. I think it’s dangerous to refuse to help someone because of something they might do, because if they actually are looking for a meal or another need, they might go hungry for the night because someone thought they might spend it on drugs. Additionally, drug addicts can die from withdrawal symptoms. If I give money to someone and they spend it on drugs, it’s really not any of my business, which goes doubly so if you look at it from a religious perspective, which many people do. So in the end, there really isn’t any reason for me not to give homeless people money, except my own anxieties, which I need to overcome.