Well, I must confess—I really haven’t spent much time in Uptown! I’m a Long Island girl who generally spends most of her time in Midtown (shopping, duhhhh). But continuing with the shopping train of thought, there’s no more famous area for that in Uptown than 5th Avenue. I’ve only been in one store on 5th Avenue, and I think it’s safe to say that it was the fanciest store I’ve ever been in in my entire life (I’ve walked by the Paris Louis Vuitton, but I didn’t go in. That just would’ve been embarrassing). So which store was it? I’ll give you some hints: It has crystal-clear jewelry cases, gleaming silver as far as the eye can see, and lots and lots of little blue boxes. I’m sure the girls know what I’m talking about—Tiffany and Co, the mecca of 925 sterling silver.
The only time I’ve ever been in Tiffany’s was right after my 16th birthday in May 2009. My parents bought me a ring for my birthday from there, but it was a size too big for my baby hands (seriously, they’re really small. In high school I had to buy the skinniest class ring to keep it from looking like clown jewelry). The day we went into the city to get it resized also happened to be an abnormally hot day, so by the time we walked to 57th street I was nice and sweaty. Not the best way to make a 5th Avenue entrance, trust me. But when I walked in, all was forgotten as I felt a gust of cool air and was blinded by the gleam of the beautiful silver.
…Not really, but if I was Audrey Hepburn that might’ve happened. Although I truly had never been surrounded by so much beautiful jewelry before in my life…and so much beautiful jewelry I could never even dream of owning. So sad! But I digress—I was not there to browse, I was there on serious business! I had a ring to get resized! So in we went to the elevators, and I remember I was amazed that there was actually a man inside who pushed the buttons for you! The wealthy don’t even have to push their own elevators buttons! No wonder my 12 year-old niece aspires to be a trophy wife.
When we got off at the customer service floor, I was even more amazed. The only customer service rooms I had ever been in were at Macy’s and Kohls, and both of those are pretty bland and miserable. Not at Tiffany’s! Plush couches and coffee tables replaced plastic chairs and crying babies (although there really wasn’t a need for coffee tables, since I think you would probably get thrown out if you ate in there). When our turn finally came, we sat at a little booth that had blinders on the side so you couldn’t see the other customers (I guess people like to keep their jewelry problems private nowadays?). The lady who helped me was shockingly nice—she not only quickly resized my ring by spinning it around in what I assume is called the magic ring-resizer machine, she also gave me a free silver polishing cloth and offered to steam-clean the Tiffany necklace I was wearing free of charge! I’d never had better customer service in my life! I later recounted the story to my aunt, who was disappointingly unimpressed—“That’s what they’re supposed to do. You paid all that money for their jewelry; they want to keep you happy.” Maybe so, but nobody could put a damper on my little glimpse into the lifestyle of the rich and famous 5th Avenue shopper. So even though Tiffany’s is by default my image of Uptown, I would say that it’s a pretty good one. And to the Hollywood movie producers who are undoubtedly reading my blog—if you ever decide to remake Breakfast at Tiffany’s, call me. Seriously. My range in incredible. My only request it that you let me eat breakfast at the Tiffany’s customer service coffee table instead of in a café across the street.
