Ive always existed in categories after immigrating to America. You know W.E.B DuBois, The Souls of Black Folk? He coined the term double consciousness. It is the sense that we are always looking at ourselves through the eyes of others. He states that black people have consciousness of how others see them and how they see themselves. Ive most definitely sensed this and I sense it all the time. I always think about whether someone is looking at me as a stereotype. The heartbreak when I discover they do. Are they going to look at me, see something I do, and then assign that to every one of my race or ethnicity as a stereotype? I think people of color experience this. I am conscious of how people view me, as a person of color, and how I view myself. But, it’s more than that, I can see myself through their eyes; like it’s racialized. Also, I never thought this is the person I would become today. There are many times I have scrapped a plan that I thought was completely right at the time. This happens with school projects where I have a plan larger-than-life, grandiose but I dont have the resources to execute it.
