After reading your post, I felt that it resonated fully with me. I have never seen myself as fully American nor fully Mexican, but rather as something in between, a sort of fusion of the two. Although I have never visited my native country like you did, I do feel that if I were to go, I would also feel homesick, as my home in Mexico is very rural and although it is close to the capital, it is still far enough to be somewhat isolated. After 18 years of living in the city, I have grown used to the city life and what it has to offer, but I can never stop thinking what my life would have been like if my parents never come to the USA, and I had been born there instead. I also really enjoyed the second part of your post. Personally, I am not as religious as you, however, I do believe and agree with you on the fact that by having something to worship or value as a way to keep you grounded, you can always remain true to what you believe is the real version of yourself. For me that has been my passion for music and my love for my family. In all the ups and downs of my life, those two things have always helped me rise up stronger than before. Despite our current identity crises, I am confident that this in-between stage of our identities allows us to absorb the best of both of our cultures to become stronger and better people to some day served and give back to those who have helped us and supported us. Oh and that bible verse at the end was also very very well selected. The fact that Ebenezer was placed between those two places is very relevant to how we feel and I just wanted to say that it was an excellent choice and very good representation of what you were talking about. Good post man! Wish you the best on finding your Real!
