Even with the diversity within New York and the constant encouragement of immigrants to keep true to themselves regarding the cultural traditions they immigrated with, it becomes necessary at some point for an immigrant to adopt the already existing culture within this unique but strange environment he now finds himself in. I remember very clearly my parents and my siblings, upon my arrival at the United States, warning me constantly not to even entertain the thought of turning “American,” as they called it. My quite conservative Ghanaian parents abhorred the life the traditional ‘American’ in New York lived; the partying, the slang vocabulary dominated by curse words, the lack of respect for the elderly and the list goes on and on.
Soon enough I convinced myself that my parents had these beliefs of the ‘American’ people only based on how they are portrayed in the media and perhaps, the little interaction they had with them on their way to work and at work. And although they did fine by not adapting to their new environment, I was in a totally different world summed up in two simple words, ‘High School.’ Before coming to New York, I was very excited about getting into an American High School. I spent countless hours watching movies and shows that glorified and decorated life at High School within a prosperous city like New York. Even before I moved here, words like prom, homecoming, jocks, homeroom and the like, which didn’t exist at my school was second nature to me. I practically knew everything about the United States school system: what the kids were like, what they enjoyed, what a typical day in high school was like, etc., but of course, it was through the ultimately biased lens of the Hollywood movie system.
My entire life almost turned upside down upon the realization, after being enrolled at a NYC public high school, that the image I had created about high school prior to be enrolled in one was simply hokum. I was hit with this reality on my first day at school, together with all the anxieties that come with being the new kid. Worse of all, I couldn’t properly understand the New York accent; neither could I handle the English language like I would want to, it being my second language and all. In light of all this, I had no choice but to keep to myself, to be a recluse. I tried to avoid human interaction as much as possible; speaking up in class was definitely something I avoided as much as possible. I sat alone at lunch and pretended to be occupied even when I wasn’t. Loneliness took over my life like a swarm of locusts takes over a plantation. I really missed my friends back at Ghana; all I could do was reminisce the times we had together and how I took them for granted.
The reality of the matter was that I simply was different from the others. I was so different that everyday from that point forward seemed like my first day. Only one or two persons talked to me; eventually I dreaded setting foot at that school. I soon, however, realized that in order for me to enjoy this new environment I had been put into, I had to adapt to the new circumstances. Hence, I began a journey to ‘Americanize’ and become like the kids at my school; that was the least I could do to deal with this situation. I spent the following months simply observing and listening. I listened to the vocabulary the students used, how the acted toward each other, how they acted when they met a person for the first time etc. At home, I watched YouTube videos on accent reduction and I constantly read to myself and conversed with myself so as to gain mastery over the English language. This entire process lasted for about a year, with loneliness running down my spine every now and then.
Nonetheless, even within this period of adaptation, I had to stay true to my true nature and culture. Even though adapting to this new environment would help me endlessly, I couldn’t live with the thought of letting go of my previous ideologies and culture, which essentially was who I am. Even more so, I had to hold on to it for the sake of my parents. This quickly created an immense conflict within me: whether to let the new culture I have learned take me over completely, balance the two or simply throw out everything I had learned and stay true to my parents wishes. With this pressure, I had no choice but to develop a double personality. While at school, I acted like the kids at school and while at home, I only displayed behaviors my parents would approve of.
Soon enough, by implementing what I had observed and learned from my environment, I started making friends and enjoying life at high school. Frankly, I became quite popular; I had even had my own entourage. I enjoyed going to school and I enjoyed life in New York; for once, I actually felt like a native and New York felt like home. I figured that by maintaining this double personality, I wasn’t hurting anyone and I as such, wasn’t doing anything wrong.
After a while, however, I realized that I was actually hurting myself. By living such as life, I wasn’t being true to myself. And the people who appeared to like me actually only liked the personality I had put on. The time came to make a decision that would change my life, to merge the two personalities into one. I realized I had learned some essential skills for survival within New York; however, along with it, I had picked up some habits that weren’t so ethical. I, as such, salvaged through everything I had learned, picked up only what was truly essential and dumped everything else. I resolved that if people didn’t like me for who I am, they didn’t deserve my company.
Looking back, that was probably the best decision I ever made. More often than not, immigrants end up hurting themselves or the ones they love by not adapting correctly to the new place they find themselves. It’s a journey almost every immigrant makes and most at times, the outcome is different for each person. I am truly glad that I was able to embark on this journey and emerge as successfully as I did.
