Author: sterlinglipscomb
Fur Coats, Velvet Walls, and Angels, Oh My!
Fur coats. Elderly attendees, or at least middle-aged. White people in fancy suits and evening gowns, with those long cigarette holders that Cruella de Vil had. These are things I think of when I hear, “Let’s go to the opera!” That and, “Oh, great, singing I won’t be able to understand in a language I don’t know with an overly dramatic plot that makes no sense and brings my life no joy.” These, I suppose, would be my “previous prejudices” against the opera. Much like those who enjoy Steve McCurry’s work, I was quick to fall back on my made up ideals from movies/history class/my opera-singing vocal teacher about operas and those who attend them, rather than keeping an open mind about its reality.
The first thing I noticed was how underdressed I was in ripped, blue super skinny jeans and my navy-blue John Jay hoodie. Second, I couldn’t help but notice the hilarious caricature of the foundation of American society: minority staff in fancy tuxedo suits servicing old, white people. Third, the Met, as one would expect, is incredibly fancy! The chandeliers dangling from the ceilings were (almost literally) an explosion of light. Everywhere you looked there was red velvet; it covered the walls, floors, stairs, and seats. Oh goodness, those seats were comfortable. If the show hadn’t been so bizarre, I think I might have fallen asleep. Although I’ve imagined going to the Metropolitan Opera House and walked by it several times, I cannot deny that imagining it and experiencing it were two very separate experiences.
The opera itself was simply bizarre and I still think it may have been one of the most ridiculous plots I’ve ever encountered. Needless to say, I felt comfort in the validation of at least one of my prior imaginings. The Exterminating Angel, from what I could tell, was about a group of friends with good economic/social standing that get trapped in a room by an omnipotent force. No matter what they did, they could not leave the room and soon they began to feel the effects of starvation. My classmates and I discussed the effects of attempts to leave the room during intermission, I couldn’t understand what it was that was exactly keeping them in the room. Was it an invisible force field? Was it some sort of mental manipulation by the omnipotent being? Did they get sick or hurt when they tried to leave? I found myself very confused about the subject afterward.
However, intermission made me take a step back to look around at the Met in its true form, with all of its audience spilled onto the velvet floors and rushing to get to the bathroom. As I stood in the balcony area after I finished “powdering my nose” (I’d been urged to run to the bathroom right as intermission started by a very clever D.K.), I took the chance to really open my eyes and look around. A lot of attendees, I found, were not, in fact, as I’d imagined.
Although a lot of them were middle-aged, audience members ranged from young children with their families to established 30-somethings on a fancy anniversary date to grandmothers in town to visit their sons/daughters and grandchildren. Many of them were not dressed in evening gowns or fancy tuxedos, but they were wearing nice clothes. They looked like “the best version” of themselves, as my old musical theater teacher would say.There was nothing notably snooty about anyone, they were all just normal people (most of them did turn out to be white), out to enjoy a pleasant evening at the opera in New York City.
And as I kept looking around, I realized: regardless of how fancy and renowned the occasion, everyone still has to wait in a line to use the bathroom.
Open Letter Final Draft
To Ms. Debbie Miller and Ms. Cindy Provost, current directors of Miss New York Teen USA:
I remember the excitement of receiving your event’s first letter very well, the shaking hands and tears because I thought “wow, I’m actually beautiful”, after years of degrading myself in the mirror. But, I should have known better. When I ran into my mom’s room and told her, I felt so confused by her lack of a reaction. Why was she not jumping with joy? Why did she not start crying too? Why was this moment the exact opposite every teen drama I had ever seen?
“They send that to every girl, don’t let them fool you” is what she said to me. And suddenly, I understood. You did not handpick me, I was not subjected to scrutiny of my Instagram or Facebook or other public photos, I was not, for lack of a better term, special. I was a naïve, young girl, with good social/economic standing, that you could use to benefit your organization through material and advertisement-based means. I would be lying if I said my confidence did not take a hit there, it was a harsh reality for someone who was looking for anything to make them feel desired. Simply put, it hurt. A lot, actually.
Currently, I am writing to you on behalf of all New York state young women with no money to pay your entry fee and a clear understanding that what you determine is beautiful is the only thing that matters in your competition. There are a lot of problems I have with you and I know there are a lot of problems other people have with you as well. Some of them have to do with my own insecurities as a female, exploiting young women for their physical appearance, and pretending you are not after the money of young women who want approval/validation of their appearance. Look, we all know you want a pretty face to represent you, why else would physical appearance account for 2/3 of the judging process? At that point, why even interview girls?
First of all, I have been receiving your unwarranted advertisement that claims I have been “chosen” to participate in your competition, for years now. If this were not a school assignment and I were not supposed to be handling this professionally, I would refer to these letters as a much less mature word for male cow feces. The only reason I am receiving your letters is because of the public information you have been able to acquire about me. You know nothing about me, you are only trying to get my money. This is clear by the entry fee you charge to compete.
“Oh, but the entry fee is covered by the scholarships!” Yes, they are, if I win. And if I don’t win? I owe you money that I may not have. Girls who receive these letters become so filled with hope, believing they have been handpicked by an elite group of people who looked through their photos or know who they are. So, they run in to compete, regardless of whether they have the money or not, because they think they have a real chance at winning, because you lead them to believe that they are truly special in terms of this competition. Of course, these girls may win, and I do not mean in any way that they do not have the ability to. But, the fact that you use such careful words like “chosen” can give girls false hope.
Furthermore, if I manage to get enough sponsors to pay my way into the competition, maybe even a little extra, you take all of the money. Yes, I looked through your FAQ, I am, in fact, doing my research. I am not blindsided with rose-colored glasses about being “chosen”, you are after the money I can make for you. If I make enough money for you, I get “material items” that will help me win the competition, like dresses, haircuts, accessories, make up, etc. So, what about the girls who do not get those benefits, who barely scrape by with the fee? Are they not at a disadvantage? Not every beautiful girl has pockets filled with cash, as you should know, female pant pockets are notoriously small.
Secondly, you are still telling women what they must wear in order to be considered beautiful. A young woman who showed up in sweatpants during the competition for the “athletic wear” portion, regardless of how beautiful/charismatic/lively/amazing she may be, will not win, because the judges cannot determine how “physically fit” she is with baggy clothes on. That’s actually disgusting. By walking out onto that stage, my female peers are subjecting themselves to being sexualized. Nobody sees the interview portion except the judges, nobody knows what the girls’ personalities are like when they are not trying to put on a show for a competition, nobody knows who they are other than a pretty face in form-fitting leggings and a sports bra, or evening gown. How can you claim that “Anyone can compete, there is no perfect body type” and then blatantly contradict yourself by saying, “You are being judged on how healthy and physically fit your body is”? Sure, overweight girls can compete, but they probably will not win.
Here is the problem with that: According to the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) from 2013-14, 1 in 6 children from ages 2-19 were considered obese1. In New York state, excluding NYC, 35% of students in middle/high school are obese2 and, including NYC, a third of children/adolescents are either obese or overweight. But, every time I look at photos from a Miss New York Teen USA pageant, I don’t see a girl above an average BMI for every three average or under BMI girls. I see: skinny, skinnier, little bit of body, and skinny again. Our nation is not made up of skinny girls, stop making women who do not meet your definition of beauty feel inadequate.
So, here is what I propose: get rid of the contradictory “every body type is beautiful, but you have to be physically fit/healthy to be competitively beautiful” mentality and stop baiting girls into competing without telling them what exactly they are getting into. Tell them what the entry/registration/sponsorship fees are right up front in the letter you send. Stop pretending that you are representative of every young woman in New York; you are very clear throughout your website that obese/overweight women who do not meet your standard of fit are not going to be able to progress very far. I find your hypocrisy incredibly unfair, as I am sure a lot of other young women do (a few are in my class). Why are you pretending to be all-inclusive and then directly contradicting yourselves? Either allow all women to compete and compete fairly, or stop acting like everyone has a chance to win, when it is very clearly rigged for the rich and tiny-framed.
Your competition has the potential for acceptance of all body types, you say that you believe all body types are beautiful and that there is no perfect body type, yet you exclude so many young women because their body type does not fit the competition. If you allowed all young women to compete, gave all of them a fair chance, your competition would be so much more appealing and it would help encourage young women who are not fit to love themselves. You could be an immense force for good in the world, for those young women. Instead of telling them how they should look and scorning them for how they do look, you could teach them to be happy with who they are and how they look. You could show that you don’t have to be under a certain size of dress to be beautiful.
Personally, I think that would encourage a lot of young women to take care of themselves. When a woman is told she will never surpass a certain point because of her weight, one is not only degrading everything she could be just based on a physical feature that may not be completely in her control (google search hypothyroidism), but also, potentially, destroying her self-confidence/self-esteem. This can leave a lasting impact, psychologically, which could lead to alcoholism, drug abuse, and/or mental disorders, like depression and body dysmorphia. But, if you tell a woman she can succeed, regardless of her weight and body, she will be more likely to try. Not only would this satisfy your pageant’s extravagance by bringing in more participants, the entire competition would be more diverse and exciting to watch because now there is an element of the real world in it.
I hope you understand my frustration with your inexplicit body-shaming and gradually mounting expenses, and thank you for taking the time to read my letter.
Sincerely,
Sterling Lipscomb
P.S. Every body type IS beautiful, but do you know what’s more beautiful? Seeing every body type represented, next to one another, in a message of true acceptance and equality.
References
https://www.health.ny.gov/prevention/obesity/
https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-statistics/overweight-obesity
https://health.data.ny.gov/Health/Student-Weight-Percent-Obese-by-Grade-Level-Statew/xjsc-2jcc
Tu Afro No Cabe En La Foto (Alex Guerrero)
First Impression
At first glance, I like the simplicity and straight-forwardness of this piece. I like the fact that it shows how we try and put women, especially women of color, into a box that we decide upon. The colors are nice, I like that they used muted colors. I think that puts a lot of emphasis on the message of the piece, rather than the appearance. You can tell that there is a message behind the art, that it wasn’t just created for self-expression’s sake. This art has a specific purpose, otherwise, it wouldn’t have the Spanish text at the bottom.
Analysis
Upon closer inspection, the author only uses a kind of toffee brown and several different shades of gray/black, no white. This emphasizes that the woman in the painting is colored, and different, separate from the paintings that use white. And, with all of the space outside of the photo, it really shows how we rarely ever look at the entire person, or the “big picture”. Around her afro, I see little patterns that appear similar to leaves. I think this is to indicate the natural beauty of colored women, and how they should let their natural beauty/state show, just as the trees continue to bloom after every winter. I also think the writing below the box is meant to reflect modern social media, such as Instagram, and the way we confine people to a box and a few words of text. We capture the beauty and essence of a face or a moment, but not the true experience of the place or person. There is so much more to someone than just a pretty face, but often that is all we are reduced to because we cannot fit everything we are into a photo. Unless a photo is taken from far away, or with lots of planning, we are reduced to taking a photo of what is convenient for us to remember. In a selfish way, at that time, the story of the subject matter in the photo doesn’t matter because we are only valuing the benefit we receive (likes/comments/acknowledgment) So, while the subject matter may have all of these details or features that are important to understanding who or what a person is actually looking at/liking, the photographer is reducing it to something abbreviated, something s/he liked; the person in charge is changing the subject matter to fit his/her ideals. Notice how I avoided the Spanish text and what that means? I can say with utmost certainty I did that because it’s inconvenient for me, a white girl who speaks no Spanish past level 1. However, the Spanish portion is important because it shows how this happens across the board. Everyone, individually, places other individuals in boxes, for their own convenience and understanding, regardless of the true nature/humanity behind said boxed individual. Everyone projects their ideals of how someone should be onto others, what’s different is how/if those projections get recognized or stated. Whites imposed their ideals onto minorities for the longest time, this only shows that hasn’t changed much amongst humans with the development of technology. In fact, it is only getting easier to see people as objects/faces rather than real people with experiences and lives.
An Open Letter to the Miss New York Teen USA Pageant
To the Miss New York Teen USA Pageant:
I remember the excitement of receiving your first letter very well, the shaking hands and tears because I thought “wow, I’m actually beautiful” for what felt like the first time. Then, it was all downhill from there. When I ran into my mom’s room to tell her, I felt so confused. Why wasn’t she jumping with joy? Why didn’t she start crying too? Why wasn’t this moment like every teen drama I’d ever seen?
“They send that to every girl, don’t let them fool you” is what she said to me. And suddenly, I understood. You did not handpick me, I was not subjected to scrutiny of my Instagram or Facebook or other public photos, I was not, for lack of a better term, special. I was a naïve, young girl, with good social/economic standing, that you could use to benefit your organization through material and advertisement-based means. I would be lying if I said my confidence did not take a hit there, it was a harsh reality for someone who was looking for anything to make them feel desired. Simply put, it hurt. A lot, actually.
Currently, there are a lot of problems I have with you and I know there are a lot of problems other people have with you as well. Some of them have to do with my own insecurities as a female, exploiting young women for their physical appearance, and pretending you are not after the money of young women who want approval/validation of their appearance. Look, we all know you want a pretty face to represent you, so why act like the interview process is really going to account for much? You’re making yourself look bad by pretending to be decent.
As of this moment, I am writing to you on behalf of all New York state young women with no money to pay your entry fee and a clear understanding that what you determine is beautiful is the only thing that matters in your competition. Why else would physical appearance account for 2/3 of the judging process?
First of all, I have been receiving your unwarranted advertisement that claims I have been “chosen” to participate in your competition, for years now. If this were not a school assignment and I were not supposed to be handling this professionally, I would use a much less mature word for male cow feces to describe my present feelings towards the letters. The only reason I’m receiving your letters is because of the public information you have been able to acquire about me. You know nothing about me, you are only trying to get my money. This is clear by the entry fee you charge to compete.
“Oh, but the entry fee is covered by the scholarships!” Yeah, they are, if I win. And if I don’t win? I owe you money that I may not have. Some girls who receive these letters become so filled with hope, believing they have been handpicked by an elite group of people who looked through their photos or know who they are, and they run in to compete, regardless of whether they have the money or not, because they think they have a real chance at winning, because you lead them to believe that they are truly special in terms of this competition. Of course, these girls may win, and I do not mean in any way that they do not have the ability to. But, the fact that you use such careful words like “chosen” and “we invite you to compete” can give girls false hope.
Furthermore, if I manage to get enough sponsors to pay my way into the competition, maybe even a little extra, you take all of the money. Yeah, I looked through your FAQ, I am doing my research. I am not blindsided with rose-colored glasses about being “chosen”, you are after the money I can make for you. If I make enough money for you, I get “material items” that will help me win the competition, like dresses, haircuts, accessories, make up, etc. So, what about the girls who do not get those benefits, who barely scrape by with the fee? Are they not at a disadvantage?
Secondly, you are still telling women what they must wear in order to be considered beautiful. A young woman who showed up in sweatpants during the competition for the “athletic wear” portion, regardless of how beautiful/charismatic/lively/amazing she may be, will not win, because the judges cannot determine how “physically fit” she is with baggy clothes on. That’s actually disgusting. By walking out onto that stage, my female peers are subjecting themselves to being sexualized. Nobody sees the interview portion except the judges, nobody knows what the girls’ personalities are like when they are not trying to put on a show for a competition, nobody knows who they are other than a pretty face in tight fighting leggings and a sports bra, or evening gown. How can you claim that “Anyone can compete, there is no perfect body type” and then blatantly contradict yourself by saying, “You are being judged on how healthy and physically fit your body is”? Sure, overweight girls can compete, but they probably will not win.
Here is the problem with that: According to the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) from 2013-14, 1 in 6 children from ages 2-19 were considered obese1. In New York state, excluding NYC, 35% of students in middle/high school are obese2 and, including NYC, a third of children/adolescents are either obese or overweight. But, every time I look at photos from a Miss New York Teen USA pageant, I don’t see a girl above an average BMI for every three average or under BMI girls. I see: skinny, skinnier, little bit of body, and skinny again. Our nation is not made up of skinny girls, stop making women who do not meet your definition of beauty feel inadequate.
So, here’s what I propose: get rid of this contradictory “every body type is beautiful, but you have to be physically fit/healthy to be competitively beautiful” mentality and stop baiting girls into competing without telling them what exactly they are getting into. Tell them what the entry/registration/sponsorship fees are right up front in the letter you send. Stop pretending that you are representative of every young woman in New York; you are very clear throughout your website that obese/overweight women who do not meet your standard of fit are not going to be able to progress very far. I find your hypocrisy incredibly unfair, as I’m sure a lot of other young women do.
Your competition has the potential for acceptance of all body types, you say that you believe all body types are beautiful and that there is no perfect body type, yet you exclude so many young women because their body type does not fit the competition. How can you continue to ignore this constant contradiction? If you allowed all young women to compete, gave all of them a fair chance, your competition would be so much more appealing and it would help encourage young women who are not fit to love themselves. You could be an immense force for good in the world, for those young women. Instead of telling them how they should look and scorning them for how they do look, you could teach them to be happy with who they are and how they look. You could show that you don’t have to be under a certain size of dress to be beautiful.
Personally, I think that would encourage a lot of young women to take care of themselves. When a woman is told she will never surpass a certain point because of her weight, one is not only degrading everything she could be just based on a physical feature that may not be completely in her control (google search hypothyroidism, it’s a real issue), but also, potentially, destroying her self-confidence/self-esteem. This can leave a lasting impact, psychologically, which could lead to alcoholism, drug abuse, and/or mental disorders, like depression and body dysmorphia. But, if you tell a woman she can succeed, regardless of her weight and body, she will be more likely to try. Not only would this satisfy your pageant’s extravagance by bringing in more participants, the entire competition would be more diverse and exciting to watch because now there is an element of the real world in it.
I hope you understand my frustration with your inexplicit body-shaming and gradually mounting expenses, and thank you for taking the time to read my letter.
And, just for the record, every body type IS beautiful in EVERYTHING.
Sincerely,
Sterling Lipscomb
References
https://www.health.ny.gov/prevention/obesity/
https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-statistics/overweight-obesity
https://health.data.ny.gov/Health/Student-Weight-Percent-Obese-by-Grade-Level-Statew/xjsc-2jcc
Redundancy
This video is meant to show a glimpse of how I view my school life, in its simple redundancy (ew corny-use-of-the-title-in-the-description alert). Specifically, this video is intended to portray the (abridged) way I look at and approach studenthood, with special guest appearances by Miri Lieber. Although my outfit may be slightly different every time you see it, the experience remains mostly the same, day in and day out.
The Road I Walk – Sterling Lipscomb
There is darkness all around, a suffocating, yet expansive darkness. It’s like a black hole: cold, uninviting, and empty. A noise, what is it? Voices… Laughter… I hear people, I know they’re right in front of me, but where? I can hear them, but, somehow, I see no one in this dark void. I see nothing, except a path in front of me, distinguished from the surrounding area vaguely by dull, gray lines, resembling stones you would see separating a lawn from a sidewalk in the suburbs. One step forward, two steps forward. I start running, desperate to get to the end of the path, scared of where I am and where I’m not all at once. Who’s yelling? Is that me? It must be, that voice is so clear. Where’s the end? The path keeps building itself as I run forward, winding around nothing. I stop, spinning around in circles, looking for anyone, screaming for anyone, but, still, there is no one. It’s just me, trapped in my head.
I experience the most peculiar loneliness in the company of others, ever since high school. Surely, being with other people should make the path brighter, right? Or more tolerable to be confined to? One would think this path becomes a skeleton in the back of the closet that is my mind when I’m laughing with friends. But it doesn’t, it only shifts in the center of my conscious to make space for the other thoughts rushing by, weaving in front and between them to remind me of the lurking darkness in my head. So, I’m stuck watching a cinematic of myself with other people. In the oddest way, it feels like I’m not really there. Depersonalization, it’s called, by professionals and the dictionary. To me, it’s simply a bad movie with an uninteresting main character, no real development, and too much repetition.
Obviously, there’s a difference between feeling depressed and having depression, kind of like how there’s a difference between being friends and being friendly. I was afraid of friendship, I still am. I’m afraid of anything intimate, really, and, if you were to ask my old therapist, I’m sure she’d say those feelings stem from my insecurities and lack of stability. I moved around a lot when I was younger, so I never really held onto friends. That’s fine, never seemed like an issue… until I started walking down that path, until that path became a part of me. Abruptly, I was alone in a new way, even having friends felt like having no one. Despite the people around me, I was completely alone on a cold, dark path that lead nowhere, but ran in both directions forever, existing out of sight to everyone but me, since it was and continues to simply be the constant state of my own mind.
With time, I came to realize that this road will never be flooded with light, or bright colors, or other people for that matter, but that doesn’t mean it has to be dreadful and scary. If I want, it occurs to me, I can walk along the beach, my mind would allow for that. Of course, it’s night time, whenever I imagine it.It’s like sitting at a beach on a spring night, with clouds whisping around my head to block out the light of the moon. There’s no moon in sight, but there is water, lapping at the sides of the walk way, just out of reach. The path becomes wood, resembling a boardwalk, and the surrounding area has tints of the deepest shades of blue and gray. This only occurs in quiet moments though, when I am at peace or, at least mostly, relaxed. At times like those, I feel like I can stop walking, sit down and enjoy watching the world I’m stuck in become new. This is the one moment I find peace in being lonely.
