“[Italians are] naturally and essentially a religious people.”
– Louis Giambastiani
Arranged on the windowsill above the kitchen sink, my Nonna has a collection of Pendants, Prayer Cards, and small, four-inch tall figurines of the Virgin Mary, St. Joseph, and St. Anthony. The crucifix hangs above her bed and her prayer books and clear blue rosary beads sit on her bedside table. On her dresser, there are three, foot high statues of St. Anthony, St. Joseph and the Virgin Mary. Each beautifully painted; these three statues are the only decorations in her bedroom. As my Nonna says, the three most important things in life are: God, Family and Food.
This being said, I found few of the attitudes, customs and religious rituals in “The Madonna of 115th Street” to be unusual. The processions, the food, the unwavering loyalty to family, the respect for elders, and the dressing up for church are all customs that I was already familiar with and have, at one point or another, either heard about or personally experienced.
My Nonna, named Lena, was left out of her paternal grandmothers will because my Nonna’s mother refused to name her after her paternal grandmother because she hated the name Pasqualena. My dad’s first cousin’s were locked in the garage for hours and forced to eat day old spaghetti off the floor when they refused to eat it the night before and my dad was severely punished after being stuck by one of his high school teachers for misbehaving in class. Instead of getting the sympathy he had hoped for from his parents, he got hit with a wooden spoon for disrespecting his teacher and making excuses.
My father’s female first cousins who grew up here in the United States were expected to live at home with their parents until marriage, my aunt Cathy went on chaperoned dates with her fiancé, and my Nonna and her sisters ran their homes under the supervision of their husbands. The man was the “head of the house.”
As Orsi suggests, the Italian domus-centered society had both positive and negative effects: such as closer family ties and the oppression of women. I’m torn. I’m not sure what is better or worse: the American lifestyle (which is almost devoid of familial obligation, respect, close relationships and ultimately of traditional values) or the Italian lifestyle (which brings families together but leaves young women to the mercy of their parents.)
