Even though I am not Italian, I can still relate well to the story of Italian immigrants during the turn of the 20th century. The valuing of family, and above all respect permeates my background. Just as Silky brought up, many families still regain a sense of tradition and conservative attitude, albeit not as extremely as the immigrants we read about this week. I thought I had overprotective parents until I read this week’s chapter!
It was interesting to read of La Madonna’s journey, and of her intimate connection with the Italian community of East Harlem. She stood as a beacon of hope, a place to turn to when life seemed unbearable. As many mentioned, however, the real glue that kept communities and families together was not necessarily religion, but the strict domus system. Orsi starts out with an idyllic description of family bonding and respect, but in the end of the reading has dramatically switched to a description of a strict, stagnating, and even abusive system based on a respect from fear and not love.
Toni-Ann makes a point that filial piety can stem from love and not just fear, and I agree. Perhaps such a thing came from American culture, which stresses both individualism and love. I can still somewhat relate to the immigrants’ condition: As a child, I wasn’t allowed to leave the house, and my parents would not allow friends over. Going to a friend’s place involved an elaborate and lengthy procedure of planning and communication with the other family. However my parents claim this was out of “love” for me, and for my safety. It wasn’t for the protection of family reputation or for the preservation of our culture. I think whatever traditional qualities have stuck in modern families have adapted to fit an American mindset.
What I found strange with this week’s reading was the woman’s role in the family (of Italian immigrants). On one hand they were verbally abused and wholeheartedly dominated by the men in their home, but were considered the “rulers of the home”. Orsi describes the Italian immigrants’ home as a “matriarchy”, that the men’s opinions were eventually swayed to the woman’s side. This is highly ironic! It was also shocking to read of the vulnerability, restraint, and difficulty faced by the younger Italian women looking for a husband. Any words said could devastate their reputation and ruin them for life! Perhaps the few women that were able to survive this system and go on to marry were strong enough to manipulate their husbands, and subconsciously garner respect from their family.
