Immigrating to America came as a surprise, like that pimple you find on your face in the morning. For a while, I had thought it was just simply a vacation and a graduation gift for my brother. Later, however, I realized that the change in scenery was more permanent than I thought.
The first year was a tough one. Adjusting to this new life in America was not easy at all. Everything was just so different. My house in Jersey City was not my home. It did not feel like home. For a while, it was just simply a place where I lived; nothing more, nothing less. Not only did I have to get used to the new environment, but I also had to learn to slowly let go of my old life in the Philippines. That, I believe, was the hardest part.
As time passed, I slowly started to adjust to life in America. Sure, it was not exactly like my life in the Philippines, but it was something different—something new and exciting. I had finally come to accept the fact that I was not going anywhere anytime soon. I have a fresh, clean slate here and I have to make the most out of it.
Since the move, I had not really asked my parents about their thoughts and reasoning behind immigrating. Although I did not fully agree with their decision to do so, especially since it was so abrupt, I knew their hearts were in the right place. So for this project, I decided to explore their minds and take a look at the move from their perspective by conducting a short interview:
Koren: So dad, tell me about life back home in the Philippines prior to immigrating.
Dad: Life was fun, easy, easy going, but we didn’t see any future for you guys over there. Life was getting harder and harder, our business was…it didn’t seem like there would be more opportunities. [Immigrating] had been a plan since 2001, but it was always pushed back and postponed because we weren’t really sure if it was the right time or if it was the way to go. But life in general in the Philippines was more easy-going than life here.
Koren: What prompted you to make the decision of immigrating?
Dad: Most probably economics, financial stability, and your future.
Koren: What was your first impression of America? I understand you came here first in 2001, by yourself.
Dad: It was a lot…It was very different in a sense that it was more organized, more—
Mom: Disciplined.
Dad: Disciplined, and it gave me the feeling that if you just work hard, you will really make it or achieve your goals.
Koren: What about the cultural differences?
Dad: Well, we’re Asians; we’re not really Americans. When we got to New York, it’s very diversified. There’s a lot of different races, different colors…So it didn’t really bother us. Mom and I just thought that if you just really worked hard, then you know that you can make something out of your life.
Koren: So far, have you experienced any prejudices?
Dad: Prejudice? Uh, in terms of racial discrimination, no. The only disadvantage of being non-American is that you will always be… Well, just because the other guy is an American, he will always get preferential treatment. Meaning, for example, both your mom and I are civil engineers back home in the Philippines, but over here, that does not matter. Our degrees do not matter because Americans will always be first. It’s their country, anyway, and we’re not from here.
Koren: How did you or do you cope with your new life in America?
Dad: Well, we don’t really think that it’s totally different. It’s just another challenge. You just have to make it. When your mom and I decided that we were moving—immigrating—here, we made it a point that our decision was final; there was no turning back. This is it. All our eggs are in this one basket. We didn’t think about the ‘what ifs’. We didn’t entertain the possibility of not making it in America. We just thought that we have to make it here. Your mom and I already had the notion that life in America is going to be hard, it’s going to take a lot of sacrifice, and we were ready for it. And anyway, in the Philippines, we didn’t have any help at home for 10 years before coming here. We trained you guys to do household chores and carry your own weight, so I think we didn’t really have much trouble adjusting to life here. Oh, and of course, I know how to cook, I do laundry, so…
(laughter)
It’s just, I think, a matter of accepting that life here is…like this. If you think, ‘oh, it’s hard and tiring here,’ then it’s hard, but if your notion is that life here is just that—full of hard work and sacrifices—then it’s not painful. That’s just it. It is what it is.
Koren: Do you regret moving?
Dad: Not at all. I mean, the ultimate answer to that question is you guys. It’s not us.
Mom: It’s not really for us anymore.
Dad: It’s not really for us because we already had our shot; we already had our chance—
Mom: We had our life.
Dad: It is for you, so if you guys think that it would be better if we moved back to the Philippines, then you can answer that, but your mom and I…so far, no regrets.
Koren: Any advantages to moving?
Dad: Advantages? I think the good outweighs the bad. I mean, the only bad thing is, y’know, you miss people there; you miss your life there. But on the other hand, the new life, the new experiences—it’s very exciting because you don’t really have any preconceived notions of what is going to happen here. What we’re looking at is that you’re making your own life; you’re not predestined to do anything. Because if we were in the Philippines, you’re already predestined to go to college, then get married, whatever. That’s the only chance there! You work somewhere and then that’s it. But here? Just by the course that you’re taking, you can do anything that you like! It’s possible here. Those are the opportunities that we wanted you to have. So the opportunities that we’re looking at far outweighs the disadvantages, which is just missing people from home.
Koren: We have the power of the internet, anyway.
Dad: Exactly. So through social media and everything, we feel like we’re closer to home.
Koren: So far, you’ve achieved a decent amount of success. Are there any plans to go back home and stay home?
Dad: Once you guys are settled, your mom and I will retire in the Philippines. Our friends, the people we graduated with, are all there. You guys can stay here. Your friends are here. Your lives are starting here. Your mom and I don’t have a life here. We don’t really have friends here, we don’t have anyone to visit—you know what we used to do back home, right? When we would visit your aunts and uncles every Friday, when we would gather around for special occasions. Outside of the basketball clinics your brother and I teach, we don’t really have anything. Maybe going back home is just for your mom and I, but if you guys think that you guys have more opportunities in the Philippines, then it’s gonna be your own decision.
Koren: So last question: how has your journey been to America so far?
Dad: Exciting!
Mom: Amazing! Awesome!
Dad: Amazing! So far, I would say that the ultimate gauge or meter stick—
Mom: Yard stick.
Dad: —Yard stick of our journey would be your success. Like right now, you’re already in college, you have a scholarship; at least we have a roof over our heads, we can buy whatever we need, your mom and I have decent jobs. You know, we have enough for us. Sure, I don’t really think we have extra, but at least we’re paying for your education. You guys don’t have student loans or debts. After you graduate, you don’t have to worry about any kind of bills. So right now, I think, our investment on you is pretty much a success for us. I’ve been with my company for five years, your mom has a decent job, and you guys are in college and I think that’s success for me. I mean, success isn’t always measured by material things or material wealth that you see, but I think we’re successful, though. Like for example, when I see you smile and I see your braces…SUCCESS! I’M PAYING FOR THOSE!
Dad: You guys have laptops, iPods.
Mom: You’ve got everything that you need.
I would just like to say that I am glad my parents made that decision of immigrating. It may just be the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. I am very thankful.
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