Have you ever looked back on your life, at your previous “self” and see how much you’ve changed and how much you’ve learned about who you really are? It something I actually do quite often, and when thinking about my attitude of New York City, I can’t help but think of my past and present self.
My past self would probably think of New York City as an inferno. Living in Long Island for practically my whole life, I became accustomed to open space, quiet streets and a slow paced lifestyle. I thought I could picture myself on a country farm, picking apples, riding horses and milking cows (seriously, imagine how much fun that would be!) There was something so entrancing about the image of autumn leaves changing colors, collecting into piles on the front stoop. I pictured myself frolicking through fields of barley, looking up at the starry night sky, cool breezes blowing through my hair. I loved the idea of knowing all your neighbors and being part of a “community.” I wanted to be a member of a neighborhood, someone who was known and important. Not just a small fish in a big sea. (This was before something happened in my family that made me want to strangle my Long Island neighbors who couldn’t stop gossiping.) The typical country girl lifestyle seemed so appealing to me. I thought this was what I truly wanted. On the flip side, although I appreciated going into the city a few times a year, I could never envision myself living there. The city seemed like an overcrowded, dog-eat-dog world. I felt claustrophobic when I was in it, like the cars honking and the bustling people couldn’t be any more suffocating. There was limitless drugs and violence surrounding the dark corners of the city at night. There was overwhelming pain and suffering, due to people’s broken dreams.
My present self would think of New York City as the best city in the world. New York City offers countless opportunities. The city is constantly bustling and busy, with so much culture and artwork to see. It a place of constant perpetuation of ideas and innovations. It is filled with diversity and people from different walks of life. I find subways the most fascinating part of New York City. I love looking at all the different types of people who walk in and out of the train. I see all different types of people, from the ritzy white person who must live like a king on Madison Ave to the immigrant who is barely making ends meet in Harlem. There is no place more ethnically, economically,and socially diverse than New York City, and in this way the city fosters my love of culture and trying new things. I would never be able to do this if I lived in a small country town. There are so many museums, so many monuments to see. Every neighborhood in the city has its own feel, its own area to be explored. It is a city filled with constant mysteries. There are new discoveries to be made every day. It is a restless city, but that is something that makes the city so unique and wonderful. The hustle and bustle is something people may hate, but it is something I embrace now. Compared to Long Island, the city has so much to do all the time. I never find myself bored wondering what I should do next. Where I used to live, the main place all my friends and I would hang out was the mall. It got so repetitive and boring. It also offered nothing substantial except for a shopping addictions.
Another thing I love about the city is the fact that you are constantly meeting new people. I would hate to be closed in to living with and surrounding myself with the same people all the time. There is a part of me that always wants to reach out and meet new people, try new things, and that is something that I could never find in a small town. As well, in a huge city, no one knows your business. This may not seem like a big deal, but it becomes an important factor once something “out there” happens to you. In a small community everyone knows everything about you. People find things to gossip about and to judge you for. Yet, in the city, no one really cares as much. There are so many odd people, that weird becomes average. It’s almost like people in the city keep a blind eye to all thats around them. And although this also may have some negative effects, I think it really is for the best.
Even though the city is not filled all over with “typical” types of aesthetic beauty, like golden trees and enormous mountains, the city offers its own type of beauty. Recently when visiting Soho, I saw the graffiti on the walls more as artwork than illegal scribblings. I found beauty in the artwork covering the walls of the city. There is beauty when seeing the sun beam down on the reflective mirrors of the skyscrapers. And of course, there is central Park, which offers a taste of the countryside beauty in the middle of a wonderful city. So in a way, the city has a bit of every form of beauty. And this is what makes it my current Eden.
