INSPIRED BY MY MOTHER:
Helpless Love
You left the day after my birthday
I told myself I would be okay
I thought it would be easy to take care of all the chores
But it turn out harder than I thought
On Fridays and Thursdays
I cook
Each time I tried something different
And put my best into doing it
But in the end my family complains
Especially my grandma
It’s either
Too salty,
Too sweet,
Too plain,
Or
Too oily
Sometimes she tells me to throw it out
Just because she doesn’t like it
I tried to take in the comments, and not protest
But it is really hard
Especially when I tried my best
I wonder how my mother can satisfy her each time
To me the food seems okay
At least for my first try…
But cooking is not the worst
While doing the laundry
I had to separate everyone’s clothes
Into dark colored, colored, and white
All the clothing I did not want to touch
Especially underclothes
Some clothes were
Full with sweat
Some with stains
Sitting in the bathroom for ½ hour separating them
Is worse than teaching chem.
I use the tip of my fingers
Barely touching them
And dump them into different bags
The rest of the job is fine
Although I don’t like folding them or putting it away
On the weekends
I have to go with my father to Pathmark
Carrying all the bags of food
I think I gained some muscles
Choosing carefully what to buy
Not wanting to waste money
There is so much work to do
I wonder how you do it each time
You never asked for my help
Unless it is necessary
And I am starting to miss you
So much
Everytime my father calls back
To China
I tell you all about my experiences
You start to laugh
And said that’s how it was when I first came to China
And I start to wonder how could you deal with this
For 20 years
Especially the complaints from my grandma
I would’ve probably ran away
I think it’s probably because you loved us
And wanted to make our lives more comfortable
No matter how many complaints you receive
You took them in, and never commented back
Even when we don’t appreciate your work
You forgave us each time
I remember the time you made me an icecream cake
For my birthday
And I laughed because the icing was all over the place
I couldn’t even see what you drew
On top of the cake
But I should’ve knew that you tried
And considered your feelings
You were never mad at me
Or expect any return from me
I guess this is what you called
Helpless love
Mother to child love
I’m counting the days you will be back
I have two more weeks to deal with all this work
So glad it’s going to be over soon
No more stinky clothes
And
“Too delicious food”
And
I am waiting….