How can women be so powerful and so powerless at the same time?
As I read about the powerlessness of women in Italian Harlem, I couldn’t help but draw connections to the powerlessness of women in conservative societies today, such as the societies in the Middle East. Right away, when I read Concilio’s statement that “A girl can have no voice or opinion. She is taught to speak only when addressed” (129) I thought of the Taliban rule in Afghanistan. I thought of it again when I read how restrained young girls were to their home life and were “allowed out only in the company of chaperones” (136). I thought of how the Taliban did not allow women to go in public without being accompanied by men. I thought of how, when women were in public, they were also not allowed to speak freely or have their voices heard. The only situation in which women could speak was if a male addressed them first. Although the Taliban enforced these rules much more brutally than the Italians did (breaking such rules could result in severe beatings) the Italians still enforced consequences for women who went against the norm. And these consequences, which consisted of humiliation and dishonor upon the females’ family, made life that much harder for a female.
Dates, for example, were a particularly tough situation for young girls. The young girl and her date both knew that the girl’s reputation rested in the hands of her date. This was truly a great power that males wielded, who, with the “slightest word or gesture could spell doom for a young woman…” (138). The worst part is, the girl in question would have no way of defending herself against any “rumor and insinuation” (138). Such was the case of one family whose daughter became the subject of rumors that she “was fooling around with boys” (136). The girl’s reputation suffered and as a young man put it, “a girl with a ruined reputation … puts her family to shame” (136). This idea of a young girl’s actions bringing dishonor to her family reminded me of societies today who hold the same belief and practice it to the extreme. For example, in some societies in Africa, if a woman is raped, her family will beat her and reject her from the home. They may even blame her for being raped and refuse to take her back, saying that doing so will bring great dishonor to the family.
Despite the powerlessness of young girls, however, women in Italian Harlem still held their share of power. They were still the source of authority in the domus, meting out punishment when they felt it was necessary. They even dealt with the family’s finances and had the “power to assign authority” (146). And although some movies portray young kids nervous to bring their date home to meet the father, in Italian Harlem, it was the mother that the children had to try to impress.
