My Immigration Story
My grandmother, born Miyoko Ogawa, was born in southern Japan on February 12, 1941. Born into a family where her mother was a seamstress and her brother a pig farmer, she came from a simpler time. She grew up with a sister and a brother, and went through her education only learning a small amount of English. Japan in the early 1940s was not a fantastic place to live, but many countries were in the same position. However, when the bombings at Hiroshima and Nagasaki took place, my grandmother was only four years old. Living not too far from those cities, she grew up witnessing the horrible aftermath of those attacks. Deaths from the attacks numbered more than 100,000 and many people were injured, psychologically affected, or suffered from radiation poisoning.
When my grandmother was 18 years old, she happened to meet a charming American Marine who was stationed in Japan following the Korean war. His name was Robert Gildersleeve, and he was born October 16, 1941 to a family of six children. They quickly became wed despite the challenging language barrier, and had their first child, Michael, while still living in Japan in 1962. Shortly after, Miyoko became pregnant again, this time with a girl.
They decided to come back to America where Robert was originally from and he was subsequently transferred to the Quantico Marine Corps Base in Triangle, Virginia. They traveled – Robert, Miyoko, and baby Michael – by boat from Japan to California. Upon their arrival, Miyoko was let into the country, but did not yet become a U.S. citizen. From California, they flew to Virginia, where they had their second child, my mother Arlene, on November 24, 1964.
The Japanese internment camps put into place after World War II existed throughout the 1940s in the United States. I often wonder if my grandmother knew about these camps before coming to America. I wonder if she was anxious about the stigma and racism she would face. I’m often thankful that she didn’t have to face those extreme hardships, and was allowed to come into this country freely and settle down with her new family.
As time in the United States passed, Miyoko began to learn English and the new customs of this country. After a few years in Virginia, my grandfather left the Marines, and they moved to back to Long Island where he had grown up. At first living in an apartment complex in Lake Ronkonkoma, my mother has fond memories of playing with her older brother and their dog outside. She was four when they first relocated to Long Island, and two years later, they purchased their first home in a town called Centereach. This first home they bought became the only home they ever bought, and my grandmother still lives there today, a mere five minutes from my parents.
My mom has told me a few times about helping my grandma study for her citizenship exam in that very house, and about how some things my grandma pronounced incorrectly inadvertently passed on to my mom when she was a child. My grandma still remembers saying “underground pool” instead of “inground pool”, and though she fixed that, she still can’t help but say “shortpants” instead of “shorts”. Her accent keeps her from saying “boulevard” or “hood”, and says “seltzer” like “salsa” which can lead to some funny confusion when she requests it.
My grandfather worked, after leaving the Marines, at a company called Grumman. Today that company is called Northrop Grumman, and according to their website they are now “a leading global security company providing innovative systems, products and solutions in unmanned systems… to government and commercial customers worldwide”. But in the 1970s until the 2000s, my grandfather worked there as an engineer for aircraft. While he worked hard to support the family, my grandmother both raised their two children and for a time, worked as a waitress in a Japanese restaurant. There she met many young women like herself, but didn’t work past my mother’s teenage years. The neighborhood they occupied was also home to many young Japanese women and their ex-military husbands. My grandmother still has many close friends in the neighborhood and that fact allows her to retain her Japanese language and culture.
Today, I feel as though my grandma has simultaneously adapted very well to the American lifestyle and yet, maintained the ways and culture she grew up with. She practices her sect of Buddhism every day, and attends meetings and forms friendships within that community. She has the upgraded cable package on her TV that gives her access to several Japanese television stations, and eats mostly Japanese cuisine. Often when she answers her phone, she cheerfully exclaims “moshi moshi!”, and she had me program her smartphone to read in Japanese.
Growing up, I spent a lot of time at my grandparent’s house while my mom worked, and I fondly remember playing Scrabble with my grandma and helping her spell and pronounce words, and her teaching me the basics of Japanese: the alphabet, numbers, and parts of the body. She still struggles with her accent and will often forget words, but I find the way she speaks to be impressive and delightful. She is highly intelligent, but often in her everyday life, she gets taken advantage of by people she encounters. She has my mom make all her important phone calls and accompany her to the mechanic and car dealership, so they don’t manipulate or overcharge her. She asks many questions about her bills and the ever-changing culture of our modern society. However, she doesn’t let her disadvantages keep her from living an independent and successful lifestyle, and enjoys her life here.
The catastrophic earthquake and tsunami in Japan of 2011 was the source of much anxiety for my grandma. Her sister still lives there today, and for weeks she couldn’t make any contact with her. She watched the news constantly for information about the disaster, but even during that tough time, she was still thankful that she had immigrated here. She sees the great success she has attained in the United States, and knows that her life in Japan would have been extremely different.
I’m proud to say my grandma is an immigrant, and because of our close relationship, I feel very connected to my Japanese ancestry. Miyoko Gildersleeve is a beautiful and vibrant woman, and I’m hoping her Japanese genes cause her to live well into her nineties. I can’t thank her enough for everything she’s taught me and the qualities she’s passed on to me.
