I’ve decided to make this a running page because there is just so much ridiculousness in London.
1) Self Rolled Cigarettes. So I can identify the act of buying your own tobacco and rolling paper and creating your own cigarettes as something hipsters in NY do but it is creepily common in London. Regardless of how many times I see it, I still have to look twice because I am convinced people are not smoking joints on the street.
Notice the clear resemblance to a marijuana cigarette.
2) Over use of Foundation: I was always taught to apply makeup conservatively for daily use. The point of makeup, my mother once told me, was to make it look as if you do not need to wear makeup. By this logic, the application of foundation is to make your skin appear flawless. This brings me to my point. DEAR BRITISH GIRLS, I SHOULD NOT SEE YOUR FOUNDATION STREAK LINES. ONE LAYER IS ENOUGH. YOUR MAKEUP DOES NOT LOOK GOOD, IT LOOKS CAKED ON. WITH LOVE, STEPH There is a time and place for heavy makeup, but a 10am lecture is not that place.
Although this picture is not real, it is no exaggeration.
3) The US is not that different from England so stop asking me about the differences.This question particularly relates to the difference in the University system in the two countries. Yes, in the US we have SEMESTERS (instead of terms) and we STUDY (instead of revise). We call our mathematics course MATH (instead of Maths) and we write our assignments in our PLANNER (instead of a diary) but thats about it. There are less weeks here and more of an emphasis is put on the final exam, but it is not that hard to adapt, despite what you may believe, we Americans are pretty smart.
4) Stop hating on the US. It may just be because I study International Relations, but it appears as if everyone here garners some sort of hatred towards the United States. To be honest, I think that they are just jealous because we overtook the UK as a world power. Also, you would have more credibility in criticizing US foreign policy if you were not part of the Coalition forces fighting in the Middle East. Last week, as my class discussed whether 9/11 would qualify as genocide under the provisions of the ICC Statute, I almost punched a few kids who seemed to think that some aspect of over 3,000 people dying is funny. I didn’t have the energy to tell them that as an 11 year old New Yorker on 9/11 it was actually one of the scariest days of my life.
Also, I am from a big city back in the US. In fact, this city is quite a bit larger than London. I am not used to seeing grass, I enjoy taking public transportation, and diversity does not scare me. I have never seen a gun before and no my mom does not bake apple pie. Despite what you may think, we are not all Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin.
5) Vaseline. I could go on a talk a bit about how much I miss stores like CVS and Duane Reade but my real issue right now is that vaseline does not exist. I went to three different drugstores but found nothing. There are so many uses for vaseline and I honestly feel that the British as a people would benefit from some vaseline.
Note: There is vaseline brand lip balm but it is not the same.
Update: I was able to find vaseline. It was hiding in the travel section of a Boots store on the Strand. Strangely enough, the British view Vaseline as something only needed while on holiday.
6) Fashion. It may be because it is now fashion week, but I have seen a plethora of people dressed like either do not own a mirror or just have an insane fashion sense. Unfortunately being the creep that I am, I was only able to get pictures of people from behind.
7)Holidays. In the United States, we enjoy federal holidays every once in a while. Yes these holidays have a purpose but for the most part exist only to break up the monotony of school and work. Here in the UK such holidays exist but for some strange reason NONE of the holidays have names. They are all merely called Bank Holidays. In the US late May means Memorial Day filled with BBQs and beach outings. In the UK, the same sentiments are supposed to be conjured up for Spring Bank Holiday. Seriously?!?!? Similarly, while we in the US enjoy a week off from school for President’s Week British students enjoy the same week off for Spring Half Term. Try to be more original.
8) We speak English too. So this may sound a little culturally insensitive but I am tired of altering the way I say words especially in change restaurants that are based in the United States. This means that in the morning when I order coffee in Starbucks, I refuse to call my regular Pike Place filter coffee and I refused to refer to the type of milk I drink as soya milk. There is no “a” and I have no desire to add it. And, when I refuse to add this pesky “a” don’t pretend like you somehow cannot understand me because I know that you can. The second word that has been bothering me is tomato. Especially while ordering a sandwich at Subway, I will ask for tomatoes and not tomAAAAtoes. Especially in a franchise that chooses to have a New York City subway map adorns its walls, I refuse to cave into your demands.
