Do you ever feel entangled in the web of life? Trapped inside the meaningless cycles of recurring events we refer to colloquially as “days”, “weeks”, “months”, and “years”?
Who’s to say that these cycles have purpose, that they’re leading up to something bigger? I’ve always been told to live my life in accordance with these repetitive cycles, and I’m using the verb “told” very loosely. I don’t remember anyone ever verbalizing to me that I must follow the same guidelines as the rest of the human race does, repeat the same daily motions that they do. Yet, for some reason, I live my life in that fashion. Wake up at a predetermined hour, go to sleep at a different predetermined hour. Eat three meals a day, each at predetermined times. Go to school starting and ending at a predetermined age. Sit in a classroom of individuals thinkers, boxed in to learn on a certain predetermined wavelength. Why is everything predetermined, and why is everyone okay with it?
Who and what motivates me to abide by these societal “predetermines”, that weren’t predetermined for me as an individual, by myself and for myself? People like to think of themselves as free. But if everyone is mindlessly following the same meaningless structure, how can that be considered free?
One can be idealistic and argue that I can do as I please. But, if my life was truly in my own hands in this regard, I wouldn’t fit into the system the way that I currently pretend to. I’ve been told that if you don’t keep up with the times, you’ll be left behind, forever regretful.
As a religious Jew, I do believe that my time here on earth is predetermined, and there isn’t much (or really anything) I can do to change that. I know what the word “time” refers to, understand the basic concept, but does my time in particular matter? Does anyone’s time spent here on earth matter? Why do I (and I’m assuming most others, but will refrain from speaking on behalf of those that do) feel so vital to the world that I inhabit, and also so disposable at the same time? What is with this concept of being born with a “will to survive”? Even when playing a mindless and meaningless video game, why do I feel my heart race when my pixelated imaginary character is clinging onto its last life, and feel it sink when the pixels “die”?
Is there something to be gained when it comes to the concept of life? Something to be won or lost? Or when I eventually pass, will I be placed back into the cycle on Level 1, such as that video game character?
And if I do end up back where I started, at Level 1, what purpose was there to playing the game in the first place?
Why do I always feel so vitally important, when in reality, I’m just playing my own predetermined game with no possible outcome that doesn’t eventually end in death?
